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View Full Version : "My Wife, The Porno Star"



JakeD
10-02-05, 07:07AM
I got bored on the drive home from the laundromat and thought this up. Don't ask.
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A lot of guys glorify the idea of being married to a porno star. But when you think about it, wouldn’t it kinda suck? First off, your day would never top hers.

“So how was work, honey?”

“Oh, well, I did a quintuple gangbang, twelve guys jerked off on my face and fucked me in all my holes with fresh fruit, and…oh yeah! I did my first anal double penetration today! What about you?”

“I…uh…collated files and had a meeting. How about some dinner?”

And then, you’ve got to think about the fact that everywhere you go, guys look at your wife like she’s a piece of meat. Because once a guy’s seen a woman fistfucked on camera by a big Mexican dude, he can’t help but objectify her.

Then, if she went into amateur work, would you have to work on an intro as a sort of sales pitch?

“Hi, I’m John, and this is my wife Lisa. You may have seen her in several cum-covered classics such as ‘Lisa Fucks Everything - Vol. 1-998’, ‘Barnyard Sluts: Hi, I’m The Ho For Silver’, ‘Grandpas Gone Wild’, and ‘Bukkake Beach Bunnies #49’. Oh, me? I sell real estate.”

Plus you’d have to take into account the fact that once some people have been doing the same thing at work all day long, they don’t really want to do it when they get home. Take chefs, for example. They slave over a hot stove all day long, so quite often, the last thing they want to do when they walk through the door is to head straight to the kitchen and whip up a big dinner. So would you have to be resigned to the fact that nine times out of ten, your wife won’t want to fuck because she’s still sore from the scenes with Mandingo Brown? Or would she just lay there bored while you pump away furiously, and suddenly you hear her sigh and say to herself

“I wish he would just shit on my chest so that I could really get off.”

Doesn’t sound like such a hot idea now, eh guys?

dynamitt
10-02-05, 01:51PM
and also wouldn't it kill you to know you had to share your wife with all those other people....

Unforgiven
10-02-05, 03:39PM
I've never thought it'd be a good idea at all, for all the reasons Jake and dynamitt listed.


BTW, does this mean that Diva is going into Porn?
Do NCT members get free memberships to the site?

dynamitt
10-03-05, 04:05AM
BTW, does this mean that Diva is going into Porn? Do NCT members get free memberships to the site?


heheh i was thinking the same.... :P

Bassmama
10-03-05, 05:27AM
You guys are BAAAAD!

whitecrow
10-03-05, 08:08AM
“I wish he would just shit on my chest so that I could really get off.”

Doesn’t sound like such a hot idea now, eh guys?

Speak for yourself, cowboy.

Boozer
10-03-05, 08:13AM
Yeah, it's gotta be weird knowing that millions of men have seen your wife take it up the ass while having a 15 inch dildo shoved inside her and sucking another man's dick. Plus, you could probably only be asked, "Does your wife really giggle, scream and snort every time she cums like in the videos?" only so many times before you knock someone on their ass.

Poseidon
10-03-05, 12:06PM
All of you missed 1 small "but": You can be in the movie WITH her :P

countryboy
10-04-05, 02:23PM
All of you missed 1 small "but": You can be in the movie WITH her :P

that wont work I only got a little dick

JakeD
10-06-05, 06:09AM
Speak for yourself, cowboy.

:|

MadonnaC
11-06-05, 10:22AM
Doesn’t sound like such a hot idea now, eh guys?

But what if she brings work home? doesn't that make it better?

Unforgiven
11-06-05, 12:51PM
What, other naked guys in bed?

No.

Diva
11-07-05, 06:30AM
Imagine being at the height of pleasure and then thinking about how she made that exact sound in Anal Angels 3 and wondering if she was faking it. Yeah, that would be a mood killer.

Amaurote
11-08-05, 11:51AM
I'll worry about it after I get there.

MtlguitarJames
11-23-05, 01:27AM
where the mind wanders sometimes....