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Bassmama
08-04-05, 04:50PM
I emailed the clouds last night.

I invited you to go to the mountains with me on my job tomorrow- do you still want to go?

6:30 this morning and still no answer. I guess the cloudbank wants to stay invisible. So be it, as my toes grip the ground happily & my brain shrugs.

Coffee, feed fish, feed & water cats & birds, crank my morning talk show, let the dog out, do a load of laundry, take a shower & get ready. Gotta get gas- have a few minutes- check email....

Hey- wait a minute! INCOMING! OK- cloud turn down time. No prob.

Holy shit! The answer's yes. Call the clouds- "I'm leaving now- be there in 45- see you then." Unspoken- 'I won't scare you any more, but there's a price you have to pay- not only will I act like I don't care much, my feet will never leave the ground.'

Nice drive. Chatter & laughter. Did my job, went to a little diner I went to many years ago & remet long missed friends, went & visited my closest friend (36 years), then went to a beautiful river- secluded and peaceful. The cloudbank went along, teasing and joking as before, but I won't fall for it this time.

Climb down to the river- he sits on a rock in the middle, I wade all the way across, feet firm on the slippery rocks can't take a chance of falling did that too many times not gonna do it again I made it! I glance back at the clouds & catch the look... watching. I grin, turn away, and walk upstream along the bank, feet still firmly on the ground. Wade into the water and sit in a cool hole, shady and sweet breeze in the 92 degrees. Don't clouds know that they'll melt in full sun? Oh, well- not my problem.

Meditate. Listen to the water washing over the rocks. Fall into it, clear my mind, get high off it. Just the breeze, the water, and me.

Come up from it- the cloudbank is heading my way, opposite side. Try to cross where the old corduroy wooden road is laid in the river bed, but one section is washed out & the wet parts are VERY slippery.

'Please help me cross these 2 bad spots? I promise not to fly too far off the ground.' Jumps to the rescue- holds out cloud hand & helps in both spots, I'm across & take my hand back (I touched the clouds!) My feet are still on terra firma & I am safe.

Late lunch with clouds, check out toys in a store, trip into the movie rental place? No- I have to go the rest of the way home, before I let your magic start to work and start losing the ground again.

No more bruises! NO MORE I think, as I enter my cave and surround myself with my familiar blanket of alone.

entipy
08-05-05, 04:14AM
* entipy hugs Bass

Sometimes it's good to keep your feet on the ground, babe. Those bruises can damn sure hurt after awhile. Some of them take quite a long time to heal. :) I have a good quote I've kept in the back of my mind for a long time now. If I'm reading things right, it could apply to this, too, perhaps... if not, well, it's still a good quote:

"And the next time I fall, I'm gonna have to recall, it isn't love... it's only something new."

Bass - I have to say - I've really enjoyed reading these writings of yours. I'm quite impressed with how you spin your yarn! :D

Bassmama
08-05-05, 05:37AM
Thank you, Enty! Since I've been on here, I've found that I've developed (found?) the ability to write things & express them better than I've ever been able to before. It helps me figure things out & I'm able to 'keep my feet on the ground', so to speak.

The last time I was home taking care of my mom, I told her about what things were like for me growing up & how I felt about things- and she told me that I should write a book about my life. That blew my mind! She listened, she understood, she helped me kick the monsters out of my closet instead of turning on me & telling me that it didn't happen. We're closer than we've ever been & our relationship is totally different than before I talked to her.

So, maybe writing here is a preamble to my book??? Who knows. When I start writing it, I'll send it to you to read.....

BTW- GREAT quote! It most likely DOES apply. It's come to my mind that this is what it is, so am definitely trying to operate from that position.

* Bassmama hugs Enty back a LOT!!! X 10 for every hug she gives!!!!!

entipy
08-05-05, 11:11AM
:D