Michael Jackson

[Bassmama]

OK- in keeping with the start of MJ's trial, I decided to start a thread based on Michael. Bad jokes & cartoons only, please!

Here's some to start the thread off:
I got a new car radio. When you shout "soul", it plays soul, when you shout "rock", it plays rock. When you shout "country", it plays country. Some kids ran in front of me the other day and my passenger shouted "f**king kids!"

It played Michael Jackson.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in !!

Q: What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
A: Michael Jackson has had more noses.

[whitecrow]

What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

"I'll swap you two fives for a ten"

*****

What did the man say to Michael Jackson when he saw him on the beach?

"HEY! GET OUT OF MY SON!"

*****

Janet Jackson went and spent the night at Neverland, she suggested to Michael that they order a pizza and get a movie.
"Sure!" he said "Can we get a pepperoni pizza and Aladdin?"
"No Michael, we're only getting a pizza and a movie!"

*****

When is it time to go to bed at Neverland?
When the big hand touches the little hand

*****

I am going straight to hell, ain't I?

[Marsbert]

I couldn't resist....

[whitecrow]

Debbie Rowe's engagement ring on EBAY (http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=67726&item=4973257834)

[Amaurote]

The hangers on eventually left. Michael lightened up considerably, had the lights turned back up and sat in the control room with everybody else. I was just sitting there reading some technical magazine when I heard the Mickey Mouse lilt of Michael's voice say 'Gee, I really like your shoes' I was wearing a pair of ridiculous pointy suede shoes. It was 1987 after all and I was in L. A not my local Pub. All the same I couldn't quite believe that probably the most famous human being in the World was starting an informal chat with me. 'I beg your pardon?' I spluttered. 'I said, I really like your shoes' "Oh. ... er Thanks' I felt like an idiot, but it was going to get worse. 'What do you guys call those?' This was more than a passing comment this was an actual conversation. 'Er call them? em well we call these winkle pickers' They were probably called something like 'Suede Oxford 45's extra angled leather upper tie ups model 45643' but winkle pickers is what my Dad would have called them and it was the first thing that came into my head. He held his hand to his mouth and started to laugh rather excessively. It was a strange kind of giggly laugh. The kind of laugh an 11 year old would laugh if his friend had just farted in the headmasters study. I was a bit disorientated to be honest. I'm in a top studio in L. A with Quincy Jones, some of the worlds most accomplished musicians and I'm having a chat with Michael Jackson, he's asked what I call the shoes he so admires, I told him and now he's laughing his head off at me. In a state of panic I suddenly realised that a childish American aphorism for male genitalia is winkle. Oh dear. Have you ever had that experience when your brain and your mouth suddenly, and for no apparent reason, decide to work independently of each other? Your mouth is merrily saying one thing whilst your brain is screaming 'Shut the fuck up you tosser' but the two things have come uncoupled and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. I was having such a moment.' Ah no ..er you see...er...in...in England...er a wink...a winkle is a ..well a small shell fish you see and um you have to er... you have to get the thing out with um a pin or.. something and.....'

Michael Jackson Likes My Shoes (http://www.jakko.com/life/shoes.htm)

[Bassmama]

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[Marsbert]

AHHHH! CREEEPPPYYFAAACCCEEEE

[Boozer]

I knew Janet's nipple-ring at last years Super Bowl looked familiar.