ONE Smack = 6 Months

[Diva]

A father who was spotted smacking his young son during a shopping trip was barred from his own home and separated from his family for six months, it emerged yesterday.

Earlier this year, a detective putting up murder inquiry posters in Chorlton, Greater Manchester, saw the 41-year-old giving a single smack to the bottom of his three-year-old son. The father, who cannot be named for legal reasons, pleaded guilty to common assault at Manchester magistrates court yesterday.

Bail conditions imposed by the court and social services had banned him from the home he shared with his partner and two children - including a new-born baby girl - as he waited six months for his case to come to trial.

He was also prevented from having any unsupervised contact with his son, and for several months was not even allowed phone contact with him.

Magistrates in the case, which came only weeks after an attempt by rebel MPs to outlaw smacking completely was defeated in parliament, placed the man on a two-year rehabilitation order.

Do you think that smacking a child on the behind should be made illegal? Do you or don't you belive that a child should be hit (I'm not talking beatings) ever? Discuss...

[Bassmama]

ANOTHER example of the fanatics having their way!

While I think that spankings & slapping goes on WAAAAAY too much & 99% of the time there are other ways to get a child to behave, once in a while a child NEEDS a swat on the butt to get their attention, when nothing else works. Most kids today are rude, wild little brats & instead of the parents being in control, the kids are. Manners? Practically non existant. Tell them "no", you get hateful looks, spit at, screamed at, or a tantrum, then the kid does what he wants. That's WHY they act the way they do- because they can get away with what they want if they push hard enough.

My son & DIL told me that they were NEVER going to say 'no' to my oldest granddaughter- then she started walking. Then the second one was born. "No" is a VERY familiar word around their house now- but spanking is VERY rare- & only when nothing else works & one or 2 of the kids are heading for danger.

[whitecrow]

Yes. In that one case where the child is being outright bratty and all other options are exhausted - smack that kid. You see parents who refuse to smack their kids and it's like, the kid is SCREAMING in walmart and running around smashing things and hitting you in the nuts. Makes YOU want to smack the little shit.

Too many kids get away with murder because their parents have no boundaries. I was smacked rarely as a child, but I got it when I deserved it. And how it taught me.

Now, I'm well adjusted and I believe in light handed corporal punishment for little shitballs that won't behave.

Not that I'm ever ACTUALLY ever going to have any little crows.

[Amaurote]

Yeah, this just reminds me of the Tony Martin case - a very unpleasant man inspires a kind of bizarre debate which really has very little to do with the merits of their crimes. Tony Martin lay in ambush and shot a boy in the back with an illegally-held shotgun when he could have simply called the police, and was then convicted by a jury in a court of law; this man was in open breach of a family court order and pleaded guilty as soon as he was challenged.

I'm fairly open-minded on this subject, because I was only struck twice during my childhood, and the psychological effect the blows had were contradictory: the occasion I was struck by my dad (he slapped me all the way upstairs for doing something vile when I was about six or seven, I honestly can't remember the details but suffice it to say that I was an evil child and probably deserved it) shocked me but didn't lessen my respect and love for my parents, because I was obviously in the wrong and their punishment was totally out of character for them, which accentuated my misdeed. On the other hand, the second occasion was totally unjust: I was kicked by a notorious coward and bully of a headteacher at primary school, and psychologically picked off by him at will in the years following, to the extent that (as I later found out) certain members of the teaching and catering staff were about to submit official complaints about him. That simply made me despise corporal punishment and the sort of people who practice it.

So - no, not really, it depends on the context. Anyone who seeks regular recourse to smacking is a bad parent, but in exceptional circumstances with a surly child who just will not listen or relent - yes, why not?

[Diva]

If you read the whole article it even says why the father did it.


But Sara Lewis, defending, explained that the child had run out in front of a car, placing himself in danger, and that his behaviour had pushed his parents to the end of their tether.
I can't imagine making it against the law to punish your own child. I know a few kids that would have been a lot better off with a swat to the behind.

I only remember being spanked once by my dad. I had lied to him. It was really stupid too. He came from the kitchen and asked if I had done the dishes. I looked him straight in the face and said yes. He looked so surprised (and hurt). He spanked me and then we talked about it. I never did that again.

So Am.... what did you do?

[Amaurote]

I'm not absolutely sure, Diva, to be candid - I remember sitting on my mother's sewing-machine and shattering it, but that was more of an accident. I do remember that "Oh, no, they've caught me" feeling, which I always had when I'd done something really evil. I'm not exaggerating, by the way: up until the age of about eight I was a genuinely evil child - not a bold, high-spirited charver-type who'd steal your bike for kicks, but more of a cowardly, furtive, manoeuvring, creepy kid who kept a jar full of dead houseflies, bluebottles and greenbottles into which he regularly inserted pins and needles (I'm not joking), or got his big friends to spit water on people he didn't like then ran like hell to avoid getting the blame...nope, I was a bit like Roger in Lord of the Flies at that point.

[Diva]

I remember placing a frog underneath my mother's cup at her nightstand. She was deathly afraid of them. I don't think I have ever heard her scream so loud. I was lucky that my dad (who was the king of practical jokes) was laughing too hard to do anything. I did learn that you dont mess with dad the hard way though. I did the old 'dip the hand in warm water while sleeping' trick on him. Aparently it worked too well. His fiancee yelled out his name and I was stuck cleaning sheets, the bed and was grounded.

[Amaurote]

Yes, that's pretty sneaky, but I still out-evil you, you see, Diva, because I was self-righteous with it. My best mate was more of a straightforward take-no-prisoners rascal, and whenever I saw him doing something I deemed to be obnoxious I immediately ran up to his mother demanding, "Punish him! Punish him!"

[Diva]

In 9th grade the football players dressed in cheerleading costumes during lunch to promote the powder puff football and I stole all their clothes and they had to go to class wearing the uniforms... :whome:

[whitecrow]

In 9th grade the football players dressed in cheerleading costumes during lunch to promote the powder puff football and I stole all their clothes and they had to go to class wearing the uniforms... :whome:
Can you please give them back? This uniform is itchy.

[kittyroze]

I don't think it should be illegal, however I don't think children should be hit. EVER. The only time I think any form of physical violence is acceptable is in self defense. I think there are better ways to discipline a kid.

And don't let my young age fool you. I've babysat for years and years. In most cases I think that spanking a child is more a release for the person who is spanking, than an appropriate punishment for a kid.

Then again, it's just me. I won't hold it against anyone else, unless it does get to the point of abuse.

[Mekanikos]

http://maddox.xmission.com/beat.html

[Bassmama]

I DELETED THE ORIGINAL STUFF I HAD POSTED HERE- SORRY, D.

To make spanking against the law is WAAAAY overboard, as is abusing a child, but a spanking CAN be called for- only in EXTREME uncontrolled cases. IMHO.

[Diva]

I was trying to stay away from the abuse aspect and stick to what I believe this man did... disipline his child for running in front of a car. I do believe that spanking is appropriate at times. Again, not abusive. When my dad spanked me he told me that he was going to get the belt and I was going to be spanked. He told me I was going to get 10 whacks to the butt. Then we were going to talk about it. I learned my lesson.

Mek: I linked that a while back. I thought it was funny. It's sad that people don't just take it for what it is... humor. I don't find a lot of his stuff too funny. I think he tries to offend more than joke at times. *shrugs*

Bass: You know my history so I won't go into it. We've been through a lot of the same. I just don't want to get the thread into that area. It's a good thing growing up releases us from that sort of trauma. *hugs*

[JakeD]

I was pretty well-behaved, and only got a smack to the back of the head from my mom for mouthing off one time when she was telling me something that I needed to do, and, after a lot of rationalizing and consideration, channeled all the erudition in my little thirteen year-old brain to say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

Whenever I threw fits when I was little, my mom would just start laughing at me. It embarrassed the living shit out of me and I stopped after about the third time and realized that it wouldn't work. Afterwards, she'd say something to the effect of, "Well, I'm glad you're still alive after that one. From the way you were carrying on, I thought you were just gonna die if we didn't go home right then."

Yeah. When your mom is pretty quick with the bitchy, reprimanding remarks, you don't need a spanking.

[entipy]

I have no problem with spanking. As a parent, I know that you do whatever works... within reason, of course. When I was pregnant, I had all these grand ideas about talking to my children and using inventive ways to teach them what not to do and NEVER spanking them. After my daughter was born, I realized that you have to use what kids understand.

I think spanking is a natural thing, but it shouldn't be the cornerstone of discipline.

It's especially necessary with toddler age children because they don't understand reasons.... you have to get their attention in the only way they DO understand - something that negatively impacts them

That having been said, I can count on one hand the number of times I've spanked my daughter.. and she's a wonderful child.

Now, popping is different from spanking. I could never count the number of times I popped her butt or hand!!

To consider outlawing punishment of your child is ridiculous. But you know what, it wouldn't surprise me if it happened at some point. Parents allow children to run their lives already way too often; they will rule the world eventually.

(This response was a little disjointed. Sorry.)

[dynamitt]

Im totally agains spanking and in Norway it is lucky illigal to spank or hit a child. I beleive that chilren from very early age are able to understand what they can not do, if you as a adult explain it in a way that they will get and are firm on what is important to you and not. Children are able to understand that things a dangerouse and talking is better then spanking and also beeing open about consequenses in this case running in front of a car.

[entipy]

I'm sorry. I just don't get it when people really believe this sort of thing.



Children are able to understand that things a dangerouse and talking is better then spanking and also beeing open about consequenses in this case running in front of a car.


Not even in advocation of spanking, but I'm sorry. Telling a two year old, "If you run out in front of that car, you will die!" is not going to do squat 9 times out of 10. They are not cognitively capable of understanding what death IS much less that it could affect them. They do, however, understand, "If you run out in front of that car, I'm gonna smack your butt again," because it hurts them and they don't like it. If you have kids, and reasoning with them as toddlers worked for you, you're rare and lucky is all I can say.

Humanity is notorious for not understanding consequence until it smacks them in the face, sometimes literally. Take teenagers, for instance. They should be old enough to understand that sex = pregnancy, sex = disease, but they don't. They do it anyway - at least until a REAL consequence jolts them back to reality. (And even that doesn't work sometimes.) Hell, adults do the same thing!

There is a vast difference between talk and action. Talk teaches far less than experience and/or adverse consequences.

So, Dynamitt, am I correct in understanding that you say it IS illegal to spank or hit a child in Norway? Just for clarification.

[Boozer]

I was never beat as a kid, but I had my ass spanked several times. Looking back on it now, I deserved every one of them. And, when my kid(s) act up, and won't listen after being told umpteen hundred times, they, too, will get their ass smacked.

Sorry folks, time to forget about the "time outs." they don't work. All the kid is thinking then is, "I can get away with murder, and all I have to do is sit in a corner!! WOO-HOO!!"

There's a big difference between smacking a kid on the ass and balling up your fist and punching them across the face or back. There is nothing wrong with spanking a kid. Let me repeat that: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SPANKING A KID.

Thank you. Have a wonderful day.

[MeLsWeEtiE]

I agree with Enty. Kids understand better that if they run out in front of a car, they will get their asses smacked. Death is not a real concept to them at a young age. And with more and more families relying on the tv to raise their children, death REALLY isn't a threat because "on tv, you can always come back to life." I was never beat as a kid. I got disciplined with a smack on the ass or the legs. Depends on if I was running or not and where the fly-flap hit. Everything that I got, I deserved back then. I wasn't a bad kid, but I did have my moments. The last time I got disciplined, I was 13 and my mom and I were in WalMart getting some groceries. I smart mouthed her (can't remember what I said, but I know it was something very snotty) and she popped me on my mouth, in front of God and everybody. Not hard, but it got my attention. I got mad and went out to the car, but I knew that what I had said had been wrong.

And when I ever have a kid, he/she will get spanked also. It was the only thing that kept me on the straight track.

[Fire]

Oh, How I agree with Enty on sooo many levels. As a parent..you do what children understand. And Children understand that if they do something they aren't supposed to their butt will sting for awhile. Some people look at spankings or swats as just that - but it's not. You're trying to teach them right from wrong..and you can't sit your 2 year old down to talk and really expect them to comprehend...it just doesn't happen. My son knows if he does certain things (like running out in the street) he'll get swatted...so after AWHILE of getting his butt for doing it, he doesn't anymore. Of course there are still times...but the majority of the time he stays on the sidewalk.

[xplosiv]

How bout try and list just how many ways there are to disapline a kid, and from that list, see what works ...

[thestarsfall]

I was spanked as a child. I only remember one time really and, IMHO, it wasn't necessary: I was supposed to be cleaning up toys and I was being slow about it and my baby sister was playing with some of the toys. And my parents got mad and spanked me because I wasn't being fast enough.

I don't have anything against rare spankings. An example of a necessary spanking was told to me by one of my friends: His sister, when she was a small kid, was showing off for her friend by swinging on some electrical wires in the unfinished basement. Now, she could get electrocuted and die from that, but she didn't stop after her father had said no twice. So he spanked her. Totally necessary.

[dynamitt]

So, Dynamitt, am I correct in understanding that you say it IS illegal to spank or hit a child in Norway? Just for clarification.

Yes it is illegal.

[dynamitt]

I don't have anything against rare spankings. An example of a necessary spanking was told to me by one of my friends: His sister, when she was a small kid, was showing off for her friend by swinging on some electrical wires in the unfinished basement. Now, she could get electrocuted and die from that, but she didn't stop after her father had said no twice. So he spanked her. Totally necessary.

If the dad had not let her be in the basement in the first place, as he should, there would have been no need for spanking...

I know there are many here meaning different, but I really truely beleive that there never is any situation were you need to spank a child. Spanking is always adults getting out their frustrations and would never teach the child any real lesson.