entipy
08-30-04, 01:04PM
At Phoenix Sky Harbor airport today, an individual later discovered
to be a West Virginia public school teacher was arrested trying to
board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set
square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press
conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man
is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged
by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
a search of absolute value They use secret code names like 'x'
and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined
they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used
to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes."
to be a West Virginia public school teacher was arrested trying to
board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set
square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press
conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man
is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged
by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
a search of absolute value They use secret code names like 'x'
and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined
they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used
to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes."