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View Full Version : Back from whence I came


kittyroze
07-05-04, 11:55PM
I hate going back to Montana.

I hate that it's where I'm from. That when people ask me where I moved to Colorado from, I say that it's Montana. "Y'all have indoor plumbing up there?"

I feel like I've grown up in two completely different worlds. One where my parents are artists, where I took ballet lessons and sang in choir. Where things were really sweet and lovely and calm and beautiful.

Then I go back to Montana and see a dying town. I see people with hollow cheeks, black holes for mouths...a vacant look in their eyes. Half of them are meth addicts.

I was up there for a wedding. A joyous, lovely celebration. The night after the celebration I went to my other married friend's house. He was a DEAR friend to me in high school. He's in bed, so Caufield and I stay up talking to his wife and a mutual friend through part of the night.

The wife, who just lost her job and is raising their two small children while my dear friend works 36 hour shifts, tells me that she just exploited her sexuality with a female friend for pictures to make extra money. The mutual friend who is over wants to get drunk. He brought a bottle of vodka. He hopes to drink, and pass out on the couch, while my friend's two baby children are sleeping.

I take the bottle away.

Right now, I'm watching a documentary on meth. Here being Colorado, since I retreated back here, depressed about Montana. Watching the addicts on here reminds me of my friend's wife. She's not taking any drugs. Yet.

In any case, we talked about a lot of things. Rather, I listened and they talked. And talked and talked. People like this seem to just wait for the opportunity to open up their deepest darkest secrets for someone who is willing to listen.

The mutual friend scares the shit out of me. It feels like all it would take for him to lose it would be for just a little something in life to go wrong for him. Then I worry that he'll go Silence of the Lambs on me. He's just like that guy. You know, "put the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again". Diva pointed that comparision to me...which is scary, but man, it really works.

The wife...I just want to rescue my friend away from her. I want to save those children and him from ... from the void that is the town I went to high school in.

She was talking about potty training. "Yeah, he'd be trained in a week if I just paid attention. He was pulling on my shirt the other day, "mama potty? potty?" And I was at the computer so I forgot he asked and he wet himself five minutes later".

I wanted to slap her, grab the kids and raise them myself.

She lets people get drunk at their house, she ignores the kids, she sleeps with other people to make money. All while my friend works his ass off trying to provide for her.

:rant:

Diva
07-06-04, 07:19AM
Oh honey, I'm sorry you had to go through that. When people think of California they get pictures of ditzy blondes with silicone tits and plastic personalities. While I was growing up I'd lie and say I was from New York. As a kid I knew the stigma of this place. Now I accept it and smile when they say, "You dont act like a Californian". Baby, you dont act like a Montanian, either. *hugs*

As for the people you went home to: You always try to save the world. Sometimes you need to salvage yourself. Talk to your friend and see what he has to say about the wife. If he accepts it then there's nothing you can do but pry for the kids. As for The future Lector... I dunno, man. I say buy him some lotion and get the hell away from that.

Bassmama
07-15-04, 08:21AM
I agree with Diva about both situations, with a PS to the first one- what that woman is doing to her child is abuse- she is an UNFIT MOTHER! Tell your friend that and that he has a VERY big possibility of losing his kids- either to the state or to someone getting drunk & harming them.

What she does sexually is her choice as long as it's kept away from her children & they're kept away from it. As long as she's not bringing her lover into the house or the kids to where she's having sex, & her husband knows, ain't no big deal. It's when she brings the misbehavior into the house & ignores her kids that it becomes abuse/neglect. your friend had better worry- a lot! And do something before he loses everything.

Beyond that, the only thing I can see that you can do is tell your friends how you feel & if you witness the abuse call the authorities, then go back to Colorado (even in your mind) & live your life.

Meth is a NASTY critter- I knew Meth addicts back in the early '70s. Your description fits them perfectly. They are the walking dead unless & until they kick it. They don't give a damn about anyone or anything except their next fix & it's killing them & making monsters of them along the way.

Kitty- be glad you got away from that town when you did!
HUGZ to you!