View Full Version : A slip of the tongue...
....and not the good kind.
Name some moments where you fucked up and said something wrong, said something stupid, or just couldn't keep your mouth shut and said something at an inopportune moment.
I remember back when I worked for my uncle and we had just hired a new Mexican guy to work for us. I was just learning Spanish at the time, and we went to a Tex-Mex restaurant for lunch. I was trying to be cool, and the waitress was going to take his order next. I looked over at him, meaning to ask what he wanted, and said, "Como te quiero?" The waitress burst into laughter and he gave me the most frightened look I had ever seen. The waitress stopped laughing long enough to say, "You mean, 'Que quieres?'. 'Como te quiero' means, 'Oh how I want you.' " She then explained to him, and he looked at me and started laughing, and the waitress joined in again. I sunk down in my chair and prayed for a lightning bolt to hit both of them right at that moment.
Oh boy, do I have stories for you.
When I was a kid, I went to church. (No, really!) The leader of our youth group (Keith) asked me, my brother and a friend of ours if we'd come up and help him shovel the snow off the roof of his house, as it had gotten pretty deep, and he feared the roof would cave in if left much longer. We did, and while we were working, I started getting one hell of a headache. Keith is part owner of a compound bow manufacturing company. We got on the topic of people he'd had the luxury of meeting, and one of them was Ted Nugent. The three of us were in awe. I said, "You mean the same Ted Nugent that sang "Wang, dang sweet poon tang'?" It was dead silent, as in my painful, headache filled head, I slowly realized what I asked. I just shut up the rest of the day.
A few years later, while working for Rubbermaid, I was in the break room waiting for shifts to change so I could start work. I was reading the sports section, when one of the guys I worked with came in and said that he "had a dream last night." Without thinking, I replied, "So did Martin Luther King, and look where it got him." I looked up expecting laughter, and instead saw that it was David, the only black man on our shift. After unsuccessfully trying to climb through the wall, I tried to apologize, but he just walked away. It sucked too, because he was a hell of a nice guy, and I felt bad.
NEXT!!
OMG - All those stories are TOO funny. Unfortunately, I've said plenty of things, I just don't remember them/too many to remember... I have a horrible habit of cussing a lot so at work I really have to be careful, and every once in awhile something still slips. I just have a huge potty mouth!
not me, i am just pleased to see that this forum thread isn't about what I thought it was...................LOL
Once while at said church, all the kids were outback playing kickball. One of my "friends" was up, and I was "pitching." Well, he whiffed and barely even hit the ball. It came right back to me, and I tossed it at him and he was out. He caught the ball, and wouldn't give it back to me. (Pissed off/embarassed) I told him three times to give the ball back to me so we could keep playing. Finally, from about 5 foot away, he pegged me right in the face with it. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "You fucker!!" Out of the corner of my eye, I see one of the kids take off running towards the church. I didn't care, I was gonna kill my "friend." After a few minutes of chasing him, I hear my mom yelling my full name at the top of her lungs.
A couple of years later, at same said church, during vacation bible school, the same "friend" and I were playing catch with a football out in front of the church. I was about 16-17 yrs old, and was driving by myself. Well, I threw the ball a little too hard, and overthrew the guys I was playing catch with. The ball went through the back window of my car. I yelled "Shit!!" Guess who heard me.
Yeah, I have a reserved seat in hell.
Originally posted by Desciple
not me, i am just pleased to see that this forum thread isn't about what I thought it was...................LOL
Hahahaha, get your mind out of the gutter you are so "thankful" this thread isn't in!
:p
______________________
I have said many things, but the only one that comes to mind is when I was a bit drunk, and my brother said "what shall I do with these chopsticks..." I stared at him for a second, and then said "You can shove them up your ass!" with gusto and a happy smile.
...
Then about 2 minutes later I looked around at people rolling off chairs laughing, and then it hit me... "GUYS!!! Did I just say that out LOUD?"
[insert several people laughing for 15 min straight unable to get off the floor]
Mekanikos
03-17-04, 03:55PM
I'll take the dive and be the gutter child.
How is goin down on a girl like dealing with the mafia?
One slip of the tongue and yer in deep shit.
^_^
I've (so far!) not screwed up and said something stupid....yet. I'm sure it's only a matter of time.
Redallnite
03-20-04, 07:19PM
Don't we all have the "slip of the tongue" daily? My goodness for the things that come out of my mouth, I truly believe the devil is in my soul!!! Sometimes at work, just to break the ice you gotta just let the tongue fly like the wind........
thestarsfall
03-21-04, 11:53AM
it wasnt really a slip of the tongue....well actually it was but not in the talking sense.....
....my cheek hurted so i was poking it with my tongue (international sign of a blowjob) and then i was looking at everyone telling them my cheek was hurting ....then i realized what i was doing and i started laughing my head off and rolling on the floor....
Originally posted by Mekanikos
I'll take the dive and be the gutter child.
How is goin down on a girl like dealing with the mafia?
One slip of the tongue and yer in deep shit.
^_^
HAHAHAHAHAHA! You goofball!
I had a rude caller on the phone and I kept trying to interrupt... I think I said "Ma'am" ten times before they said, "I'm a male". I felt like such an ass.
I say stupid stuff alllllllll the time, a curse I have, but one rememorable one was in latin class. The teacher would have us think of derivatives of a certain word, (derivatives being what words we have in the current english that came from a latin word) and say them out loud to class. One word was necro, meaning to kill, when asked for a derivative, i said "necrophilliac" a little too quickly. Thankfully, my teacher was cool, but it became my nickname.
Slip of the tongue?
Are we supposed to control that thing?
Bassmama
03-22-04, 05:16PM
Oh, damn! I'm laughing so hard the dog's barking at me.
I'm always doing/saying one dumbassed thing or another. I stopped being embarrassed about it & just laugh with everybody else.
When I was little (about 10) my parents took my brother & me camping in our woods on L.I. Mom was an avid birdwatcher- always sighting one bird or another. She would always get excited when she saw a rare bird & say "Oh, look- there's a ---"
Bluebirds, different kinds of hawks, wrens,... she'd seen most of them.
One day she thought she'd recognized one she'd never seen- either a red bellied sapsucker or a tufted titmouse- and excitedly said "Oh, look- there's a red bellied tit sucker!" We didn't let her live it down for years.
whitecrow
03-31-04, 05:14PM
I remember, a long time ago, I was rushing through the mall and ran SMACK into some dude. We kinda fell over. Any way, I helped him up and apologised profusely by saying
"Oh sorry, I didn't see you"
I said this as I handed him back his white cane.
I wanted to just disappear.
His reply?
"It's okay, I didn't see you either"
MeLsWeEtiE
04-01-04, 06:04PM
OMG LOL whitecrow!!!
I'm always calling a guy "ma'am" or a woman "sir" at work, just because I get busy and don't really pay attention to who's in the drive through line I'm working in. Damn that southern hospitality/charm thing!
I've done much worse, I KNOW, but I need some time to recall them...
One of my co-workers will sometimes give me neck/shoulder massages (*drool*). The other day, he was in one of his wild-ass moods, and someone said something about him having "spunk" or being "spunky" or something.
I said, "You need to come over here and spunk on my shoulders." (My meaning being, of course, to massage them.)
Needless to say, he liked that idea a little too much.
/me covers his eyes and mouth and laughs hyterically. No one noticed did they?
Hey people ... back to earth?
We all say stupid shit all of the time. We are human?
I didn't type that.
Redallnite
04-07-04, 09:38PM
Originally posted by dc
Hey people ... back to earth?
We all say stupid shit all of the time. We are human?
I didn't type that.
Oh My Goodness!!! You really are human!!!
/me stands firmly, waiting for the real "dc" to show up and dish out a good one!!! :D
NikiLikeLicky
04-09-04, 06:31AM
I can't really think of one for myself but i have a cousin a few years back that was pulled over for driving drunk if that wasn't bad enough the officer noticed some fireworks in the back seat and asked him if there was anything illegal in the car...his reply "Theres nothing illegal in here but the Marijuana in the trunk" to which the officer said "Mind if i have a look" and my cousins reply was "Go right ahead"... so needless to say I don't think he enjoyed the rest of that night....lmao
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