Diva
12-15-03, 07:12AM
We had our annual Christmas Holiday Party on Friday. This year they decided to make it a 'family' event. No spouses or significant others... just.... kids. You have no idea how thrilled I was to learn that I would be spending two hours with a bunch of screaming, throwing, falling rugrats. As most of you know, 'holiday' parties are the bane of my existence. It's not a party if attendance is mandatory. Apparently it's a big show of kissing ass being a team player. My coworker was actually told to reschedule getting her citizenship. Call me a Scrooge, but personally I think becoming a citizen of the United States after waiting so many years is just a tad more important than a Christmas Holiday Party.
A memo was sent around stating that we would not be doing any talent shows this year. I almost jumped for joy. I could deal with sitting around and chatting with coworkers while munching on hors d'oeuvres. When we arrived at the party my hopes were dashed. Aparently they couldnt handle socializing without planning some stupid game. Everyone was given a tag with some childrens character on it. After munching we had to find the others in our name tag group, then sit together. Each table had a styrofoam snowman on it. We all had to 'create' a snowman and then it would be voted on. Needless to say, I handed my tag back and sat this one out. I know I may sound like a wench, but I didn't do this shit growing up, so it's not something I want to play with now. I volunteered to help vote so they didn't throw me off of the balcony. One of the judges had a toddler that she let waddle around. I spent half the time watching her so she didn't fall or gash her head. At one point I saw her wandering around the corner. After a second I remembered that it was to the stairs. I caught her right before she took a header down the staircase. Her mom took her, plopped her down again and the kid waddled across the other way and fell face first on the floor. Then the screams began... My coworker kept telling me about the great prizes I was missing out on.
When Paul, a 6'7" black man, won a day ice skating I just looked at her and smiled. Nuff said.
News n Stuff
º Man blames cartoon for killing mom (http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/archive/200312/02/20031202p2a00m0dm001001c.html). Idjit
º Man severs leg jumping on moving train (http://www.svherald.com/articles/2003/12/13/news/news6.txt). Way to go
º Lightning strike kills churchgoers (http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,8161226%255E1702,00.html). Wear your rubbers
º Appeal filed on grounds of stupidity denied (http://kobtv.com/index.cfm?viewer=storyviewer&id=6971&cat=HOME). Moron
º Music replaced by sex sounds at supermarket (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2003572968,00.html). No, really
º Man calls 911 to arrest cat (http://www.kxxv.com/main.cfm?ID=1&NewsID=3521&Type=Full). Idiot
º Tombstones, man's ashes found in car trunk (http://desmoinesregister.com/news/stories/c4788998/22995743.html). *Blink*
º Photographs from Burning Man 2003 (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2003/08/30/burningman2003.DTL&type=gallerypage). Okaaay...
º Man sentenced to be blinded (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3313207.stm). Bastard
º Woman eats junk food in her sleep (http://www.knoxnews.com/kns/national/article/0,1406,KNS_350_2493768,00.html). *buuurp* *snore*
º Woman killing rodents for art (http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/12/13/1071125716675.html). Riiight
º Dad smoked pot with his 4 & 6 yr-old kids (http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36~53~1828117,00.html). Asshole
º Man chops off cheating wife's fingers (http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=29&art_id=qw1071215100843B253&set_id=1). Sucks to be you
º Tons of chicks nekked (http://www.kot.ru/models/) [Pictures]. Enjoy
Levity
º BBW Figurines (http://www.bbwfigurines.com/)
º 12 STIs of Christmas (http://62.189.42.125/12stisofchristmas/12-stis.swf)
º 19 story cross in Texas (figures) (http://www.crossministries.net/)
º Bush VS The Chimp game (http://www.urban75.org/useless/bush.html)
º Loggo graveyard pictures (http://www.logorip.com/)
º Yet another christmas flash (http://web.icq.com/shockwave/0,,4845,oo.swf)
º Church sign generator (thanks Boozer) (http://www.aboyandhiscomputer.com/churchsigngenerator/index.php)
A memo was sent around stating that we would not be doing any talent shows this year. I almost jumped for joy. I could deal with sitting around and chatting with coworkers while munching on hors d'oeuvres. When we arrived at the party my hopes were dashed. Aparently they couldnt handle socializing without planning some stupid game. Everyone was given a tag with some childrens character on it. After munching we had to find the others in our name tag group, then sit together. Each table had a styrofoam snowman on it. We all had to 'create' a snowman and then it would be voted on. Needless to say, I handed my tag back and sat this one out. I know I may sound like a wench, but I didn't do this shit growing up, so it's not something I want to play with now. I volunteered to help vote so they didn't throw me off of the balcony. One of the judges had a toddler that she let waddle around. I spent half the time watching her so she didn't fall or gash her head. At one point I saw her wandering around the corner. After a second I remembered that it was to the stairs. I caught her right before she took a header down the staircase. Her mom took her, plopped her down again and the kid waddled across the other way and fell face first on the floor. Then the screams began... My coworker kept telling me about the great prizes I was missing out on.
When Paul, a 6'7" black man, won a day ice skating I just looked at her and smiled. Nuff said.
News n Stuff
º Man blames cartoon for killing mom (http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/archive/200312/02/20031202p2a00m0dm001001c.html). Idjit
º Man severs leg jumping on moving train (http://www.svherald.com/articles/2003/12/13/news/news6.txt). Way to go
º Lightning strike kills churchgoers (http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,8161226%255E1702,00.html). Wear your rubbers
º Appeal filed on grounds of stupidity denied (http://kobtv.com/index.cfm?viewer=storyviewer&id=6971&cat=HOME). Moron
º Music replaced by sex sounds at supermarket (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2003572968,00.html). No, really
º Man calls 911 to arrest cat (http://www.kxxv.com/main.cfm?ID=1&NewsID=3521&Type=Full). Idiot
º Tombstones, man's ashes found in car trunk (http://desmoinesregister.com/news/stories/c4788998/22995743.html). *Blink*
º Photographs from Burning Man 2003 (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2003/08/30/burningman2003.DTL&type=gallerypage). Okaaay...
º Man sentenced to be blinded (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3313207.stm). Bastard
º Woman eats junk food in her sleep (http://www.knoxnews.com/kns/national/article/0,1406,KNS_350_2493768,00.html). *buuurp* *snore*
º Woman killing rodents for art (http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/12/13/1071125716675.html). Riiight
º Dad smoked pot with his 4 & 6 yr-old kids (http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36~53~1828117,00.html). Asshole
º Man chops off cheating wife's fingers (http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=29&art_id=qw1071215100843B253&set_id=1). Sucks to be you
º Tons of chicks nekked (http://www.kot.ru/models/) [Pictures]. Enjoy
Levity
º BBW Figurines (http://www.bbwfigurines.com/)
º 12 STIs of Christmas (http://62.189.42.125/12stisofchristmas/12-stis.swf)
º 19 story cross in Texas (figures) (http://www.crossministries.net/)
º Bush VS The Chimp game (http://www.urban75.org/useless/bush.html)
º Loggo graveyard pictures (http://www.logorip.com/)
º Yet another christmas flash (http://web.icq.com/shockwave/0,,4845,oo.swf)
º Church sign generator (thanks Boozer) (http://www.aboyandhiscomputer.com/churchsigngenerator/index.php)