Winter Driving Tips for Southern Drivers

[Diva]

1. Northern drivers always have the right of way in winter. You must yield to our superior driving ability in snow. This is really not up for debate.

2. Only slam your brakes if you need some time off from work. You?ll be laid up home in a neckbrace for the next ten weeks.

3. Washer Fluid. Look into it.

4. It might not be such a smart idea to chisel away at your frozen windshield with a sharp object, no matter how good a job it?s doing.

5. Lock De-Icer gets stored outside the vehicle. Not in the glove box.

6. Turn your goddamned brights off. Now.

7. No, all-wheel drive does not help.

8. Remember that SUVs tend to adopt a ?tires-up? position in winter.

9. And really, why are you driving? Wouldn?t you rather just stay indoors and watch the Cotton Bowl?

These helpful tips are brought to you by the countless Northerners who can?t stop laughing at news clips of you slamming into each other in 1" of snow. :p

[Redallnite]

Funny any kind of weather here in Georgia, gotta go to the store and buy milk and bread. I guess everyone has enough peanut butter left from the last blizzard '93'.

Gotta have that milk and bread.......

http://www.nochicktrix.com/fun/oth/vb/red/12_lol.gif

[usantic]

Hey Diva!
Didn't you move to California to get away from northern drivers???
:cheesy: :cheesy: :cheesy: :cheesy: :cheesy: :cheesy: :cheesy:

[Amaurote]

Ah, the great North-South divide. Every country should have one; and, indeed, every country does.

[Jake]

What divides the North and South where you hail fom, Amaurote?

[Amaurote]

Poverty, funny accents and the Watford Gap. I live in the North, which is generally associated with flat caps, uncouth accents, whippets, terraced housing, Scandinavian weather conditions and endemic unemployment. It'a bit like Alabama, only without the sunshine.

The UK is more politically and socially compressed than other nations - there are astonishing variations of dialect and cultural/class distinction within an area which is only about half the size of the average US State. In Australia, for example, there really isn't the same level of class distinction - a plumber could live next door to a stockbroker and no-one would bat an eyelid. Here the language of class exclusion (most notably in private education and elocution - the latter has now cleverly rebranded itself as "voice coaching") is alive and well, although it's not by any means as prevalent as it was, thanks to the rise of Estuary English.

[Redallnite]

In small towns in Georgia, you can tell by the accents if you were born on the right side of the tracks. I know in Atlanta it has become diverse between the north and south that everyone is starting to sound the same. Like hoosiers!!!:p

[Amaurote]

I always thought that "hoosiers" was a Canadian expression, Marie - then again, I'm not even certain what it actually means.

Received English over here is supposedly southern-based English. It's all nonsense, of course - Londoners pronounce the word "glass" so that it rhymes with "arse" (do you see an 'r' in glass, grass or pass? If so, you must have better eyesight than me) , and the Queen has famously "revised" her accent over the years. There are now dukes of the realm who make the monarch sound positively plebeian in contrast.

[Diva]

Originally posted by Amaurote
Received English over here is supposedly southern-based English. It's all nonsense, of course - Londoners pronounce the word "glass" so that it rhymes with "arse" (do you see an 'r' in glass, grass or pass? If so, you must have better eyesight than me)Oh. My. G-d. I found an error in Am's post! I win! I win! There's an "R" in 'Grass'. Woo Hoo! I figured it'd be years or beers before this happened.

So... What'd I win?

[Amaurote]

I always make errors when I'm consumed by class hatred, Diva. You win half my annual income. There are plenty of zeroes in it, but they all occur after the decimal point, unfortunately.