Diva
08-12-03, 07:10AM
My alarm goes off this morning and the news is on. I was about to hit the snooze when this chick starts talking about some guy swimming in the ocean after midnight that was attacked by a shark. First of all, JAWS. Second of all, there have been reports of two great white sharks off our beaches swimming around lately. Lastly, JAWS. That movie turned me off of anything I can't see my feet in for life. Yeah, yeah... I'm a wimp. Biteme. We're talking a shark who thinks your food. You can't tap it on the shoulder and say, "Oh my... Excuse me Mr Shark, you seem to have made a mistake. I'm human." As if...
News n Stuff
º UK Teacher jailed for trying to buy 9 year-old over the Web (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/articles/6174617?source=Evening%20Standard). Sicko
º Woman caught drink-driving twice in one night (http://www.nettavisen.no/servlets/page?section=1706&item=280569). MOron
º Nude Sex Offender Arrested At Local High School (http://www.nbc4.tv/news/2395670/detail.html). Way to go
º 5,300-year-old man killed in fight that lasted 2 days (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0811iceman11-ON.html). Damn!
º Monk avoids washing for 60 years (http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,6920416%255E1702,00.html). Yuck!
º Car crashes through roof, over pool, and into house (http://www.azcentral.com/health/news/articles/0811huffing11-ON.html). Idjits
º Man combs beach and finds woman's missing diamond ring (http://news.bellinghamherald.com/stories/20030809/TopStories/151340.shtml). Very cool
º Rapist loses tongue by victim (http://www.gov.bw/cgi-bin/news.cgi?d=20030811&i=Tongue_kiss_lands_man_in_hospital). Sucks to be you
º Couple kiss for the 1st time on their wedding day (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2001451243_kiss09.html). Wow
º Athletic model told to lose weight (http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-12715263,00.html). Lose it where?
º Man warned after sex act with cone (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/3144107.stm). No, really
º Family sues over rat-eaten corpse (http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/2936.htm). *Shudders*
Levity
º Porn clowns (http://www.pornclownposse.com)
º Random google pictures (http://www.diddly.com/random)
º Living dead dolls (http://www.livingdeaddolls.com)
º Men against pornography (http://www.the-vu.com/men_against_pornography.htm)
º American Pornstar Idol (http://www.pornstaridol.net/)
º Chocolate covered chick (http://www.hostilism.com/ht/chix/denise1.jpg)
News n Stuff
º UK Teacher jailed for trying to buy 9 year-old over the Web (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/articles/6174617?source=Evening%20Standard). Sicko
º Woman caught drink-driving twice in one night (http://www.nettavisen.no/servlets/page?section=1706&item=280569). MOron
º Nude Sex Offender Arrested At Local High School (http://www.nbc4.tv/news/2395670/detail.html). Way to go
º 5,300-year-old man killed in fight that lasted 2 days (http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0811iceman11-ON.html). Damn!
º Monk avoids washing for 60 years (http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,6920416%255E1702,00.html). Yuck!
º Car crashes through roof, over pool, and into house (http://www.azcentral.com/health/news/articles/0811huffing11-ON.html). Idjits
º Man combs beach and finds woman's missing diamond ring (http://news.bellinghamherald.com/stories/20030809/TopStories/151340.shtml). Very cool
º Rapist loses tongue by victim (http://www.gov.bw/cgi-bin/news.cgi?d=20030811&i=Tongue_kiss_lands_man_in_hospital). Sucks to be you
º Couple kiss for the 1st time on their wedding day (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2001451243_kiss09.html). Wow
º Athletic model told to lose weight (http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-12715263,00.html). Lose it where?
º Man warned after sex act with cone (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/3144107.stm). No, really
º Family sues over rat-eaten corpse (http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/2936.htm). *Shudders*
Levity
º Porn clowns (http://www.pornclownposse.com)
º Random google pictures (http://www.diddly.com/random)
º Living dead dolls (http://www.livingdeaddolls.com)
º Men against pornography (http://www.the-vu.com/men_against_pornography.htm)
º American Pornstar Idol (http://www.pornstaridol.net/)
º Chocolate covered chick (http://www.hostilism.com/ht/chix/denise1.jpg)