View Full Version : Hollowearth {Formally Moriarty} Takes Center Stage
hollowearth
11-18-01, 05:20AM
Hello
I've just arrived : I'm here because Amaurote recommended it as a lively place to hang out when we were in th pub the other day,
I am/was known as hollowearth on monochromism and akpcep, but decided that hollowearth is a clumsy name (my website is called 'tales from the hollowearth (http://www.hollowearth.co.uk)'), and that a more decadent :cool: name seemed appropriate here.
I'll write more after i've lurked for a few days. :)
Cheers!
ps... also, my avitar looks a bit big... I'll change it shortly (sorry!)
Welcome to our boards! I hope you have a great time here. As you'll soon see, we've got a great group of people. While individually we're very diverse in our backgrounds, we're all very laid back. I' go for a drink with any one of em.
Drinking with Ami, eh? Could you slip a microphone on the man?
"When Cahssrtttttttrroooo deeveloped da bomb nameded Ealiian. Or was itElliot? Did you Ci dat mooviee? Rememberb thee gggreaat line?
*Points finger at an amused Moriarty*
"Elllioott... Beeeee Goooodd." :cheesy:
Once again, Welcome!
~ Diva
Hi Moriarty! Damn. Y'all have some great names. I feel plainer than Vanilla! That's a great Avatar you have, too. I know you'll have a ball here. We've got people from all over popping in and out. I agree with Diva. This is a great group to be a part of. I'd have a barbeque with any one of em. She would too, if she could cook. * Ducks*
Hell. Any friend of Amuarotes is a friend of mine. That man's an enigma buried in a Cracker Jacks box. Even better than the De-Coder ring! I know you'll have a great time!
http://www.nochicktrix.com/fun/oth/vb/xmisc/crkrjx.jpg
Hello Moriarity!
Great to have another addition to these boards. Especially one that can, er, drink with Amaurote. If the two of you converse in a manner equal to his posts here, we will all have much to discuss.
:p
hey hollow welcome to the boards. Im glad you decided to join us and I hope we can live up to what ever amaurote has told you. I will always envy you in that you get to drink with amaurote my one ambition is to see a drunken amaorote live. The nearest I can imagine is an out of focus dictionary :)
any way mate I`ll catch you around the boards
ENJOY!!!!
hollowearth
11-19-01, 10:04AM
Thanks for the welcome folks.
My ambitious name conflicts with holding the rank of cherub for the next 48 (?) or so posts though... Ah well, better get on with it.
I'd wear a wire next time me and Amaurote go to the pub, but he'd be sure to detect it: he's hypersensitive to subtexts of all kinds, and it'd end up spoiling someones beer.
Hey Moriarty.... I'm not that cruel. Well, I did threaten Aussie to be a permanent Cherub once. Oh yeah, and then there was the Troll Doll title. Ummm... What was I saying? Oh! Posts. I believe it's 12-15 before you reach soldier.
I think Ami is a General... Although he can kiss my arse before I would salute him.:cheesy:
So get out there and post already! Shoo! Shoo! :D
Amaurote
11-19-01, 12:47PM
Originally posted by aussie
my one ambition is to see a drunken amaorote live
That's my ambition, too, Aussie; only I would place a different emphasis on the last word...
When Moriarty/Hollowearth is around, I listen in admiring, if stupefied silence to the never-ending superabundance of programming code, PHP and MySQL-based knowledge which is bodied forth from his direction. It's all fascinating, of course, but what astute, professional programmers like Diva and Moriarty fail to take into account when speaking to ignoramuses like myself is the failure of shared meaning implicit in their language. I'll give you an example:
When Moriarty alludes to the utility of a fingermouse, he speedily imagines the correct visual referent, as thus
http://www.nexfan.com/images/bl1b15ru.jpg
However, in myself he has clearly chosen the wrong interlocutor. You see, I know absolutely diddly-squat about technology, although I flatter myself that I fully understood the plot of "Tron" and "Wargames"(impressive, eh? Amaurote bows proudly), so his verbal reference inevitably evokes this mental image in my mind:
http://www.soton.ac.uk/~merg/fingermouse.jpg
Nor is it always a logical misunderstanding. When Moriarty speaks enthusiastically about the visual properties of javascript, for instance, I invariably imagine the following image:
http://www.island-of-freedom.com/satire/cookie.jpg
There's a moral in this story somewhere, but I'm far too dense/bone-idle to work it out. However, it is probably why we find more entertainment in eavesdropping on other people's conversations - just as I do in this forum, in fact....
hollowearth
11-19-01, 12:55PM
*moriarty wonders whether or not amaurote is deliberately setting up a geek joke about cookies/javascript, then thinks better of it and pours another glass of bitter*
Moriarity,,,,
I applaud your ability to converse ( is that what you two do whilst pubbing? ) with Amaurote. As I am beginning to pick up on his tangential thought process, you must be commended for your willingness to help others here glean the true meaning behind his posts. Keep up the good work!
Amaurote
11-20-01, 01:00PM
Before God, I envy Moriarty.
Moriarty is the person I would like to be, if I were a better man, a more efficient, virtuous, outward-looking and honest man.
He's also the person I soon will be, after I procure copies of his birth certificate and templates to the keys to his flat: I just saw a repeat showing of "The Talented Mr Ripley"...
Is this gonna be something like 'Mini-Me'?
Well, at least he'll be posting *HINT BIG OLE HINT*
hollowearth
11-20-01, 02:59PM
Originally posted by Diva
Well, at least he'll be posting *HINT BIG OLE HINT* [/B]Apologies for the time being Diva, i've got some other fish to fry at the moment, not least of which will be making sure my lego mindstorms scout drones have the latest Amaurote files and AI upgrade... My defences are many, but Amaurote is a dangerous man with a rubber mask and a lock pick.
I'll protect you! Come on!!! I wanna play! We can tag team him! You pin, I'll tickle!
Amaurote
11-20-01, 04:45PM
Originally posted by moriarty
i've got some other fish to fry at the moment
Smoked Kippers would be nice, mate. I'm still only halfway through Delia Smith's How To Cook (Volume One), and she doesn't even mention haddock until the last chapter of Volume Three.
Oh, Diva! Lemme help too! I'm not much of a scrapper, but I can issue a mean wet willie or wedgie when I hafta! :)
Amuarote, it looks like you're in trouble now! I see Berly's got some spunk in her too!
Moriarty, in case you haven't noticed... your thread seems to be the place to be! Hah Hah! You've got the most views yet! But will it be the 'downfall' of Amuarote?
Amaurote
11-21-01, 10:21AM
Originally posted by Jake
Amuarote, it looks like you're in trouble now! I see Berly's got some spunk in her
Jake:
There's a frighteningly tempting punchline here, obviously, mate; but I risk instant dismemberment/immolation/annihilation if I draw undue attention to it....
hollowearth
11-21-01, 10:33AM
Okay, okay, I confess that being Amaurotes nemesis is on my agenda, but not for another, um... *flips through notebook* one hundred and thirty three months and two days.
Of course, if there was tag team wrestling involved, we could start early, though I do dislike unnecessery hard work: Anton from akpcep is a big wrestling fan, maybe he could subdue Amaurote.
Am, don't you even hold back. I can handle it. I won't sacrifice you to the PMS God if you make a less than pc comment. Just dumb it down a bit for me so I don't lose valuable ire in trying to figure out what you said! =)
*grr*
Amaurote
11-21-01, 01:42PM
Originally posted by Jake
I see Berly's got some spunk in her
Sauron/Steerpike/Richard III:(Contemptuous) Amaurote, you are already overly-tempted by inane, hackneyed sub-humour. Go no further, you steaming, miserable bag of maggots. Sin is venial; but inanity is mortal.
Amaurote:(Panicking) I...cannot help myself...Jake's sub-clausal reference to spunk tantalizes and taunts me like the wantonly dangling mammaries of Scylla and Charybdis...I cannot -
Sauron/Steerpike/Richard III: (Exhortatory) Resist!
Amaurote: (Nods excitedly) Yep, that's the word I was looking for...
Sauron/Steerpike/Richard III: Resist or inflict a judecca of painfully obvious gags on the world, you noisome wretch.
Amaurote:(Pitiable) I...can't...it is too...tempting in its seductive puerility.
Amaurote draws himself up for one final, climactic, and desperate -though not majestic - effort:
"Well, Jake, what[Google Inanity Filter is ON]of ours."
See? Well worth the wait, wasn't it?
That last sentence was a rhetorical question, of course.
Oh great. Now he's channeling.
I knew he wasn't getting all of that information from his vast memory.
"Hmmmm. I need some profound quote to stun and amaze them all. Who shall I call on? Plato? No... Platt? Too dreary... I know! Sigmund Freud! Hmmmmmmmm... I am calling on the spirit of Sigmund Freud... Give me something really 'naughty' to say."
http://www.nineinchlemur.com/darkarts/rwg/062801a.jpg
heh. =)
Amaurote:(Panicking) I...cannot help myself...Jake's sub-clausal reference to spunk tantalizes and taunts me like the wantonly dangling mammaries of Scylla and Charybdis
Oh man... All I can say Am, is it worries me when a man is "tantalized" and "taunted" and reminded of "dangling mammaries" by another man saying "spunk". Down boy. I don't even straddle the fence, much less step foot on that side. I just lean on it to chat with Lucy... ;)
hollowearth
11-23-01, 10:05AM
Spunk is a very dangerous word, and different people react to it in different ways. When said 8 times in a single thread, the word Spunk summons the...
*Moriarty notices a faint movement of air... touches his neck... blood?... a look of realisation, fear, he falls to the ground... begins whispering*
That is what caused the trouble. Look out. All right, Bob. Please get me up. If you do this you can jump right here in the lake. I know who they are; they are French people...Malone... All right; look out, look out! Mamma, mamma...oh, memory is gone. A work relief...police. Who gets it? I don't know and I don't want to know, but look out. It can be traced.
*talking faster, louder*
That is the one that done it, but who had that one; oh, oh, Mamma, please let me get up. He changed for the worse. Please, look out; my fortunes have changed back and went back since that.
*struggling for breath*
It was desperate Amaurote, a little kid. Please; look out...Look... Mike...please, I am wobbly. You ain't got nothing on him, but we got it on his helper. Please...
*dies*
Amaurote
11-23-01, 10:55AM
Originally posted by Jake
Oh man... All I can say Am, is it worries me when a man is "tantalized" and "taunted" and reminded of "dangling mammaries" by another man saying "spunk". Down boy. I don't even straddle the fence, much less step foot on that side. I just lean on it to chat with Lucy... ;)
It worries me too, Jake - though my original deviant reaction is possibly best explained by clicking here (http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=spunk) and reading the third definition, which is not only vulgar, but also the prevailing sense over here in the UK, I'm ashamed to say.
As far as sexual metaphors go, fences are excellent timber [sic]. I once creosoted a fence. This wasn't exactly sexual, I hasten to add; and nor was it specifically Lucy's personal fence (though I live in hope, as all men -and indeed women - must), but I do recall the occasion with some fondness. You see, I tend to derive deviant sexual gratification not so much from fence-building, as from tricking people I find admirable or interesting into reading boring and utterly nugatory sentences I've prepared for the occasion. Sentences much like these, in fact.
Amaurote flees, sexually satiated, like the lowborn deviant coward he always was
lol.
I see we have even managed to bring Dutch Schultz to the boards with this discussion!
You guys kill me. heh. :cheesy:
hollowearth
11-23-01, 03:22PM
We try, but Charles M. Schulz (http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/peanuts/) should also get a mention.
but I am dying...
no you're not...
*still dying; sings to self: "yet there were times... i'm sure you knew.. when i bit off more than i could chew..."
http://www.flyingace.net/
hollowearth
11-23-01, 04:11PM
*Hollowearth stalks into the forum... kicks the body or Moriarty into the chasm. Pulls out a prewritten speach, then decides: ah, fuck it, moriarty is dead, my plan to make him think he was me, and be assassinated by Amaurotes excessive spunk worked a treat, at least we now have some idea what Amaurote is capable of*
Comics: okay!
*checks no one is looking ...rifles moriarty`s pockets*
$1.20 in loose change a bus token 1 almost new condom and half a mars bar. :cheesy:
not a bad haul really pitty the shoes are a bit small *sigh*
Amaurote
11-23-01, 05:45PM
I was never convinced by all this Moriarty malarkey anyway, Aussie: Hollowearth he is, and Hollowearth he remains. You can take the [insert appropriate primary noun here] out of the [insert appropriate secondary noun here], but you can't take the [insert appropriate secondary noun here]out of the [insert appropriate primary noun here]. A very wise man once said that, and I was on the scene to steal his notepad.
I wouldn't rifle the body too closely, mind; there might be a 500-page Javascript Guide in there. I'm all for sexually molesting corpses, but not at the cost of my marvellously unproductive taste in literature...
oh I was careful amaurote rubber surgical gloves the whole way. I never found any javascript guide but I did find a glossy magazine but it was no good I couldnt read it at all because the pages were stuck together. Strange title though "The Gay Hitchhikers Guide To The Galay"? Would that be like happy wanderers? *shrugs shoulders* :)
hollowearth
11-24-01, 03:15AM
Originally posted by Amaurote
[B]I was never convinced by all this Moriarty malarkey anyway, Aussie: Hollowearth he is, and Hollowearth he remains.
'tis true. Was planning to use the id as an experiment in writing style, but simply can't be bothered. The name and the gay hitchiking, just didn't suit. I've regenerated (http://www.planetwho.co.uk/).
Amaurote
11-24-01, 08:23AM
Originally posted by hollowearth
I've regenerated[/URL].
I, Amaurorrrororte of the sticky keyboard, second that motion: All hail Hollow Arse; we knew it was you all along.
Besides, regeneration is a very bad idea; Sylvester McCoy was all fine and dandy, entertaining the nation in a series of highly gratifying cardboard cut-out sets and Dalek-ridden scenes,and then, hey presto! one regeneration later we're suddenly inflicted with the prospect of an inferior McGann brother who wouldn't know his scrotum from his sonic screwdriver...
hollowearth-arse. Moriarty was good while he lasted...but now that the secret of the Gay Sticky Guide is out, you are free to be the person we know and love as hollowearth. Welcome, your arseness! :)
hollowearth
11-25-01, 11:34AM
I couldn't be bothered with Moriarty, and he himself, was overcome with spunk. The hounds? Well, they've gone back to their home in the distant past, and my arse? That's just fine, but on an totally unrelated point, aussie, you owe me half a mars bar. Did you eat that one?
Originally posted by hollowearth
I couldn't be bothered with Moriarty, and he himself, was overcome with spunk.There's that word again! Hollow-spunk *Ducks behind Amaurote*
hollowearth
11-27-01, 10:40AM
Moriarty was hypnotically programmed to shut down on the eighth utterance of the word spunk: It's a strange world.
Hollow Arse
A hollow arse is a wasted arse or at least one blonging to a sufferer of diarrhoea.
A ha the first scat reference of my time here. Don't worry i won't make a habit of it, only when the friut is ripe and the bees buzz unto each other shall i defer to my old ways.
I feel all special, I was mentioned before I came. Maybe I am a result of the 8 spunk references in the thread. I exist only as a product of spunk (which quite suprisingly given the context makes some sense).
Amaurote
12-04-01, 01:39PM
A hollow arse is a healthy arse, as the saying I just made up goes: I don't want to plunge NoChickTrix into a scatological judecca, of course, but can you imagine how impossible your life would be if you were the unlucky possessor of a solid arse?
You don't have to be a world-respected physiologist to work out the exigencies this would quickly reduce you to, after all...
Amaurote, in deference to Diva and Aussie's authority, waives his right to include an attachment at this juncture.
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