I'm getting married in the morning

[kittyroze]

Ding dong the bells are gonna chime. Okay, I just got done arguing with the boyfriend for a few hours and am curious as to your opinions.

What comes first, the commitment or the trust, in a relationship? I believe that to truly commit you have to have that emotional connection/trust in a relationship--a ring on your finger means nothing if you don't have the trust. The boy toy believes that the ring is your safety net...it's your reason to trust. Thoughts anyone?

[Andie]

trust..without trust there is no relationship..

a ring or a wedding isnt a a done deal for trust..i know that first hand..

[Diva]

Wait, are you really getting married? *searches for invite*

You should have trust before the ring ever comes into play. It's the basis of every relationship. Don't get me wrong... I love rings!

[usantic]

Why would you commit to some one you don't trust darling?

[kittyroze]

Lol, there is no ring...just the pressure to be accepting of one (I'm only 20 guys!!!)-sorry to confuse you) I agree...I think that a ring is meant to be a symbol of that love and trust...and shouldn't come into the picture until after they have been established. The boy toy's response is that one may not feel comfortable giving their all until that commitment (marriage, or at least agreement to) has been made. It's safer that way, emotionally at least. His point is that why give all of yourself if it could all just be taken away. A ring apparently at least keeps you around a little longer.

[Andie]

Pressure of accepting a ring and a marriage isnt a good thing in my opinon.. Marriage is suposed to be the union of two persons into one unity that comes from the love of each other.. Get married when you feel ready and it doesnt have anything to do with age..i was 22 so 20 aint that big a difference..

And the statement that a ring would keep you around longer isnt true..unless both believe in the act of marriage and..well..then neither one would leave..

[love_tattoos]

A marriage or relationship can survive without a ring - but can't without trust.

[Diva]

If you don't trust him, then I can't see you marrying him. Has he given you any reason not to trust him? Or are do you still need him to prove his trust?

Tell us if/when you accept it!

[kittyroze]

Lol, I trust very few people...and ditto with him--I figure since we don't truly trust eachother yet, we can't possibly even consider taking such a huge step. He hasn't actually proposed...but I know he will eventually...

[Villager]

Marriage is taken far too lightly.

I'm not saing this applies to you - I don't know enough to make any judgment - but you should be absolutely positive that you trust this guy implicitly. Not just well, but enough that you would place your life in his hands. Otherwise you'll find yourself a few years down the line married to soembody you thought you knew.

[Gracie]

I believe that to truly commit you have to have that emotional connection/trust in a relationship--a ring on your finger means nothing

Amen sister..... dont ever ever sway from that belief. its rare to learn that before you actually take that step...... err maybe its just me :) good lesson though

[Jake]

Very well said, Villager. I hope you stick to your convictions and have a happy life. Kitty, listen to the man. ;)

[kittyroze]

No worries, I feel the same way, I just wanted to see how you guys felt about it! :winkkiss:

[SysLord]

Ehm, can I object to the marriage? :D

[kittyroze]

Hey Sys! Long time no see!

[SysLord]

Hey Kitty, I am still alive! Um barely, just too busy these days

[kittyroze]

Understandable!