Friends?

[Princess]

I like having friends. It is nice to log online and see what people say regarding my comments and things that happen to me at home and in my RL. It is very valuable to me to have my online friends, I think I might be very lonely with out them.

Are they replaceable? sure.... everyone is... but do I really want to replace them? Not even. Sometimes I post things that are taken the wrong way. And sometimes they do too. What is more difficult about online friends is that we can never actually look into each others face to see if they are joking or serious.... we can never tell if they miss us or let them know we miss them.... with out words.... and sometimes words lack so much meaning it isn't even funny.

There is always the potential for friendships to fade..... and it is always sad when that happens, but worse when they end so fast out of anger, or other negative emotion. Sometimes I say to myself.... Does it matter? Its ONLINE!?! why am I sooo upset about something on the INTERNET?? But any of you who spend some time online know that the people we interact with here are more than just "ONLINE ID's" I even know people who fall in love over the internet and get married!! Sadly I know people who end up hating each other online and end up feeling miserable.

Anyway... the situations are very real, and most often when something bad happens it hurts more than one person. What we have to do is look past our own feelings and try to see the situation from the other persons perspective. This is particuarly difficult over the internet because we don't always know what the other persons perspective is.....
and sometimes when we see the other persons perspective, we even become more angry....what is important is realizing that it is ok to be angry. But not ok to hurt eachother. It is ok to be mad or up set and misunderstand.... it's even ok to take things personally..... but then we have to ask our selves BEFORE we write someone off.... Is it worth it? Is what happened actually worth losing a friend over? Maybe this person isn't even a great friend, but still? isn't life too short to go around feeling miserable because you are mad at someone? Or they are mad at you?

but what we do know is a combination of letters that can heal even the BIGGEST of problems.....
and if not heal, at least ease some of the pain....

those letters? yrosr
does that mean anything to you? lol me either..... but what if I put them in the correct order?

Sorry.

Even add a few more... I am sorry.
does it change the situation? no. but it does say to the other person " I do care."

[SysLord]

Umm, a bit confusing your letter :) By the way I disagree on what you said 'everyone is replaceable'. No way in my book is everyone replaceable...

[Gracie]

*Smiles* Prinny is this about you leaving me again?

j/k very true ...... everything is very well said and very much understood and i will try to remember that when dealing the people in my life who i care so very much about :)

[Diva]

I saw this on another board and had to share it.

it's actually quite logical to be MORE upset about losing an online relationship. why? simple. there are no bodied. no physcial containers being judged. nothing but our minds. our souls. we're actually a lot more vunerable in that respect. the result is that losing someone we know online hurts more, especially in anger, because we know they had liked us for what they perceived our mind and personality to be.

Sometimes you pass people off as someone who just wasn't your type. And people online tend to categorize eachother as second class citizens. I have loved people online more than a friend who I see face to face. When something bad happens I go straight to my computer to get comforting from my friends. And it is true that I have been devistated by someone online.

But we need to respect eachother online too. If I had known now how important someone could be to me without ever meeting them face to face would I change the way I approached people on the web? No. Would you?

[Andie]

Some of my online friends are more dear to me than any friend i have IRL..Why??
Good question..
To me as a shy person..yeah..i am shy..really..i am..its alot easier to talk to strangers thus making new friends..

And the fact that looks isnt as important as personality on for example forums like NCT..Many friends i made here i wouldnt have dared to talk to IRL since they are hotties..;)

[kittyroze]

I get teased about having my online friends...but I really do love you guys. It's wonderful being able to get a world perspective on things...or at least the perspective of anyone who can write English. I really think it's a mind expanding experience. And very real ... valuable. There's nothing wrong with getting emotionally attached to people who are consistently emotionally supportive...and outside of your normal group of friends. If it seems the world is against you, you know you can head to NCT (or wherever) and talk to someone who cares.

[GLADIATOR]

I don't have friends, because they can only let you down. Have aquaintances, have colleagues, but friends are destroyers of your faith in humanity.

Well that's my view.

[love_tattoos]

Glad - I'm not judging you, but that's one of the saddest things I've ever heard. :(

[Jake]

I'm sorry that you feel that way, Glad. I've learned a very important lesson, and that is "The only person who can let you down is yourself". Friends are there to support you, but when they fail it does hurt. That doesn't mean that the strength in your heart isn't support enough. You just need to find the confidence in yourself.

[GLADIATOR]

Originally posted by Jake
"The only person who can let you down is yourself".

Very valid point Jake, and one I cannot argue with. I also re-read Princess original thread/ppost and it was an excellent piece of writing.

"A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one or the other, and then we know how to meet him."

From my experience, no such thing a true friend exists, by realizing that, you have much less chance of being disapointed.

[Diva]

When I am upset I can come here and talk to you guys without fear of judgement. I have always recieved more support and love than I have ever had with a real life friend.

[WhatIsOne]

You make an interesting point princess. Anyways I will attempt to make another. I don't believe you mentioned anything about how people separate real life from online friends. I know someone from the internet who lives no more than a ten minute drive away. We've known each other for over a year told eachother things we've never told anyone else and still never met in real life. We still only correspond by chance meetings online or email which are both subject to the time our lives allow us for such things.