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JakeD
10-06-02, 04:11PM
This is one of my latest submission on AKpCEP.

Caught Up in the Moment

“Well,” I think, “at least I won’t have to go to work tomorrow.”

I heft the pistol in my hand. It feels like a brick of lead, so heavy yet so small. A Smith and Wesson .44 Magnum revolver. 6 little friends. 6 little ways to die.
Right now I have two options.

Option #1: I can put the gun to my chest, approximately where my heart is, blowing a majority of it away yet risking the concept of surviving a mortal wound.
Option #2: I can stick the barrel in my mouth, blowing off the top of my head and a good bit of my gray matter, yet the risks? See aforementioned statement.

I choose option #2, for aesthetic purposes.Just for the sake of the coroners and medical examiners.
I begin to count down from 5.
Five. Four. Three. Two,
I grit my teeth around the barrel and begin to tighten my finger on the trigger.
Hot tears are rolling down my burning cheeks. I’ve got a pounding fucking headache that’s on the verge of being cured by a single Cor-Bon 280 grain bonded-core lead aspirin.
The phone rings.
I jump out of my chair, scared shitless.

I reposition the gun in my mouth like a wretched child on a teat of death, gritting my teeth onto the barrel, trying to ignore the ringing telephone. My thoughts begin to wander. Who could be on the other line? Ideas of salvation from a telephone line, someone else’s voice begin to cloud my head. FUCK! No! I try to concentrate on the task at hand, in my hand.

The phone trills for the fourth time. Should I answer it ? Ah, no! I can’t. I gotta do this.
Instant relief, and I’m willing to throw it all away over a telephone call. Gotta be tough. Gotta be a man. Instant self gratification, freedom from this dirty fucking mortal coil. Right here. Right now. I tighten my grip on the pistol, and begin to tense the muscles in my finger.

The answering machine kicks on. I hear my own voice for what may be the last time. I roll my eyes as the greeting drones on with all of its little insignificant requirements…Leave your name, number, and a brief message and I’ll give you a ring from the afterlife.

My best friend’s voice echoes over the speaker.

“Dude? Hey, this is Justin. I just wanted to know if you wanted to come down to Blue’s and have a few beers with all of us. It’s Lisa’s birthday, so grab a card on your way. I’ll see you when you get there. Peace!”

I look over at the mirror next to my bed. I look like an idiot, slobbering all around with half of a gun sticking out of my face. What was I thinking, anyways?

I sigh and take the gun from my mouth. I walk over to my laundry hamper and pull out a used towel to dry the spit off of it. I look at the pistol disdainfully, and decide to eventually take it by the pawn shop and get rid of it. Give me $300, give me $5, just give me a reason not to use this thing on myself.

I pull on a shirt, spray on a bit of cologne, grab my housekeys and walk out the door. I lock it securely and turn around, stepping onto the sidewalk. I glance both ways before I step off the curb and onto the crosswalk.

So much for salvation.

:c: Jake D '2002

Diva
10-06-02, 05:09PM
Again, fantastic. Do you plan on writing professionally?

JakeD
10-06-02, 06:14PM
Thanks you.

I haven't studied anything of the sort, it's just the vile stuff that I dredge from my psyche. I have studied a mite of creative writing (only in high school) and that helped some, but it's nothing that your average badly-educated American kid couldn't have picked up.

Diva
10-06-02, 06:20PM
You really should think seriously about writing, JakeD. You have got quite a gift. When I read this I can actually see myself in this persons' shoes. The scary part is how you have moments where we can all relate wrapt up in a life gone wrong.

kittyroze
10-06-02, 07:04PM
Wow, I'm very impressed with your writing. I'm better at tweaking other people's story lines myself. This one reminds me a story an ex of mine wrote about a Lincoln ( a penny he finds ) that ends up keeping him from jumping off a bridge. ANYway, keep up the killer work!

JakeD
10-06-02, 07:31PM
That sounds kooky, Kitty. I thought about writing something like that, but it involved this whacked-out cubicle-dweller guy who befriends a mouse in his office. Kinky-sounding, I know. It was wild, though. I sorta did it from the progression of his thoughts. Almost like a journal, but a stream-of-consciousness journal, if that makes any sense :P. In the long run, it gave the story a nice touch. You need to submit some of your stuff too! Never hurts, right?

Peace.

kittyroze
10-06-02, 07:48PM
Don't worry, I will I swear. Once I have time for stuff. I actually have this problem of squashing my artistic side as a desperate attempt to prove I'm an intellectual. Not saying that artists aren't...they just have a bad rap where I'm at. Not that I should care. Which is why I'm going back to nurturing my creative side next semester...when I am able to drop a few activities...I'm going back to only having two jobs instead of...um...6 really...and twenty credits... I so look forward to the day where I can just have an outlet again. Holy angst batman...I can't wait. Anyway, this is your thread...When it comes to your mouse idea, stream of consiousness would rock. The ex did his as a sort of narrative from the guys point of view...starting in the middle working it's way backward...then jumping forward. Twas cool. Can't wait to read some more of your work--I've checked out your profile on your website and I think we've got a lot of interests in common...so any work of yours to come is bound to be good ;) Kidding. Back to work I go. Take care.

Jake
10-07-02, 07:12AM
Incredible, JakeD. You've got some great talent. I look forward to reading more.

JakeD
10-07-02, 03:46PM
Originally posted by kittyroze
Can't wait to read some more of your work--I've checked out your profile on your website and I think we've got a lot of interests in common...so any work of yours to come is bound to be good ;) Kidding. Back to work I go. Take care.

'Tis not my website. Al would eviscerate me and stuff me with salt if I claimed it as my own. Credit where credit's due, yanno? :P

Anyways, I've always been of the opinion that people should express themselves no matter what others say...it's usually the others that are at fault anyways. We should enjoy our rights to free speech while we still can....

love_tattoos
10-07-02, 04:13PM
I really envy people who can write. I've never had a knack for it. When I sit down with a blank piece of paper to write, it stays blank. I've read a lot of your stuff JakeD and you're very talented. You rock!

JakeD
10-07-02, 07:01PM
Muchas gracias, Tats. ;)

JakeD
10-07-02, 09:31PM
I would be really pissed off if someone ripped my story off and used it as their own. That's what happened with my junior year English thesis. Fortunately, my teacher was competent enough to say to the other kid "Hey, I've read your writing, and this isn't yours. Besides, I proofread Jake Dysart's paper this morning."

Uber-gravy. She saved my ass.

Otherwise, Al's got the "all information copyright of AKpCEP <insert copyright sign>" and AKpCEP counts as the embodiment of the site members...I just didn't take into consideration the idea of appending a copyright to my own work after switching from one medium to another. Thanks for the fair warning, though, you were just looking out for me and I appreciate that.

"From now on, you are all in my cool book. We got a real nice 'I don't fuck with you, you don't fuck with me' attitude going here, and I like it."-Seth Gecko

In the traditional "l33+ h4x0r" style....

p34c3.

Bff Biff
10-07-02, 09:41PM
My pleasure........ keep up the good work. I would love to see a whole work, finished. This would be a fun thing. I know you can't put that up here, but I would love to read one.

JakeD
10-08-02, 07:29PM
Well, that's it. A majority of my writing is in short story form.

Since I lack the patience and intestinal fortitude to crank out a full-scale novel as well as lack the precociousness needed to be a reputable socio-political satirist, I instead fall prey to the "short prose" genre.

Hey, it could be worse. I could write porno scripts for a living.

Now that I think of it, I'll bet you a nice, shiny nickel that I'd make more money than now.

<me calls up Whore O' Babylon Productions>