Scranton
08-20-01, 03:56AM
Which animal does your birthday fall under?
Scroll down......
January 2 to January 11 ........Lion
January 12 to January 24 .......Salmon
January 25 to February 3 .......Bear
February 4 to February 8 .......Rat
February 9 to February 18 ......Fox
February 19 to February 28 .....Ferret
March 1 to March 10 ............Crow
March 11 to March 20 ...........Magpie
March 21 .......................Elephant
March 22 to March 31 ...........Badger
April 1 to April 10 ............Ostrich
April 11 to April 20 ...........Duck Billed Platypus
April 21 to April 30 ...........Goat
May 1 to May 14 ................Salmon
May 15 to May 24 ...............Hyena
May 25 to June 3 ...............Monkey
June 4 to June 13 ..............Giraffe
June 14 to June 23 .............Flamingo
June 24 ........................Frog
June 25 to July 4 ..............Lion
July 5 to July 14 ............. Chimpanzee
July 15 to July 25 .............Raccoon
July 26 to August 4 ............Dog
August 5 to August 13 ..........Ferret
August 14 to August 23 .........Elephant
August 24 to September 2 .......Monkey
September 3 to September 12 ....Magpie
September 13 to September 22 ...Warthog
September 23 ...................Badger
September 24 to October 3 ......Bear
October 4 to October 13 ........Frog
October 14 to October 23 .......Duck Billed Platypus
October 24 to November 11 ......Rat
November 12 to November 21 .....Sloth
November 22 to December 1 ......Ostrich
December 2 to December 11 ......Warthog
December 12 to December 21 .....Magpie
December 22 ....................Giraffe
December 23 to January 1........Raccoon
Badger
Resourceful, loyal and well, small, black, white and stinking. You, like the badger, spend most of your time hanging around dark holes, looking for the slugs of the social strata. You're also a bit of a vicious
fuker, not giving up until you've suitably destroyed your opponent(like the badger and its "I'm not letting go till your leg breaks" attitude).
Bear
Fearless, brave and dignified are things you might associate with bears but there's no way in hell they'd be associated with you. No, the things you have in common with the bear are that you smell like you've had turd stuck to you for four months, your hair
looks like you've been in the forest for thirty odd years,and your breath smells of fish.
Chimpanzee
Chimpanzees are nothing but exhibitionists.
Especially of their bare asses. You're the type of person who wanders around beaches in the summer, practically naked, bar one or two pieces of string covering your genitals. You think you look great, when in fact your cellulite is clearly showing, and your fake tan is starting to run down your legs with the amount of sweat that's pouring off you.
Crow
You are the type who sings at parties, tries their hand at karaoke, and loves to hum round the building site / office. You think this is great and that everyone loves your voice. You are in fact Shit.Your singing talents are equivalent to that of a real crow.To top it all off, you've no sense of fashion either.
Dog
Loyal, friendly and disgusting. You'd give your right arm to be able to lick your own arse, you'll eat anything put in front of you and you'll do anything your mates tell you. Plus you've probably got a hairy back and you smell like a fuckin walrus during the
summer.
Duck Billed Platypus
A rare creature. You like the platypus, are awkward, goofy looking and spend most of your life hiding your stupid features.
Elephant
The elephant never forgets or so they say. You wish you could, cause you're fat, everyone insults you and when you're old, you're destined to become a wrinkly
wizened old bugger.
Ferret
Like the rat you are small and furry, but the thing about you is instead of trying to make friends, all you do is make enemies. No one likes you, you're a malevolent bastard, who'll stop at nothing to harm
others. As well as that you're a smelly bastard, who really should wash now and then.
Flamingo
Ahhh, the pink flamingo. In male terms the gayest of all creatures. You are extremely camp. You are prone to mincing around the place constantly, your voice is unusual, and you have abhorrent tastes in music.
Look at the way you're sitting right now! Its so gay! For the females, Flamingoes are vain creatures, you're constantly looking at yourself in the mirror, and that spot on your left cheek just won't go away will it?
God it makes you look ugly.
Fox
What can one say about the fox. You're nothing but a sneaky little bastard, who spends most of his time either sleazing around bitches (or vice versa for the females), thieving stuff and scheming constantly. You also whine a lot, you're as skinny as heck and you're hungry most of the time.
Frog
Amphibious (adaptive). Small and warty. Yup, you're a small warty runt of a creature. Your eyes bulge out of your head, and people avoid you like the plague for fear of catching some sort of ugly disease from you.
Giraffe
Tall, sleek and gracious. In the wild maybe, but in human terms you're a lanky awkward whore. Getting in everyone's way, constantly hurting people by mistake, and generally making an ass of yourself in public.
Goat
The goat, rock steady in all situations, firm on its feet, sure and strong, bold and daring. However when used as a metaphor for people like yourself, we must look beyond these qualities to the goats true nature. The Bastard child of Satan. Close relative to the sheep, who we all know has no mind of its own and follows anyone anywhere. Goats stink, so do you. It's got a manky beard, which is especially true of the females, isn't it time you thought about electrolysis?
Hyena
Hyenas are laughing all the time. Because they're stupid as fuck. If someone kicked you on the arse you'd probably pass out in a laughing fit. You're a bit of a pack animal too, spending a lot of your
time hanging round with your equally stupid mates, and are well known for coming up with such wonderful phrases as "look at that guy, he's wearing socks with his shoes, he must be gay" and rolling around laughing
at your cleverness for hours. In the office you're the type of person that everyone hates. You send people stuff like this constantly thinking its hilarious
when its really just a pain in the ass.
Do us all a favour and fuck off.
Lion
The lion, king of the beasts, noble and wise. Real lions are anyway. You however are like the inbred lion, whos looks are past their best, you'll do anything to survive including eating your own cubs,or in your case, stealing from your own mother. Like
the inbred lion you are destined to wander lonely forever through the plains of life until a hyena comes along and devours your shell of a carcass.
Magpie
Ahhh magpies, the veritable dirty thieving knacker of the sky. You've no morals, anything that glistens is most certainly gold in your eyes, and definitely worth a fiver down the local market, so in your pocket it shall jolly well go. You're also a superstitious creature. Prone to avoiding ladders and such,because lets be honest, you're a bit of stupid twat.
Monkey
Playful, cheeky and inquisitive. In the worst
possible ways. You play stupid practical jokes, you're a bit of a smart ass and you stick your nose into other people's business where its obviously not wanted. As well as that you have a tendency to play with your
genitals far too much, so cut it out or you'll go blind.
Ostrich
The ostrich, fast, nimble, quick. In nature.
Metaphorically, compared to people like you, they are slow, stupid, their eyes are bigger than their brains and are cowardly bastards. You have a tendency to be not so quick on the uptake in most situations. Romantically you are stupid, your eyes see an ugly
fucka, but your brain cries beauty. At the first sign of trouble, you'll pack your bags and leggit back to your mothers place.
Raccoon
Creatures of the forest. Scavengers by nature. Which is what you are, you're a mean bastard, never buy rounds when you're out drinking, you'd rather save money than spend it and you go through dumpsters looking for old stuff people have thrown out for your ratty abode.
Rat
Small, furry and loathed by all. You are the
annoying type who are no less than five meters away from your new found friends no matter where they go. You try much too hard to be popular, going everywhere you
can and leaving signatures of your presence. You think you're cool, when in fact nobody is actually friends with you, yet you know everyone. More people see you and tolerate you for a while, then they put out the
poison.
Salmon
Salmon are sleek, silver, fast and athletic. You're not. You're stupid, your house stinks and you look like a fish.
Sloth
Bone idle. That's all you are. Good for nothing. No redeeming features at all.
Warthog
Fuckin ugly. Nothing much else to say about you lot.
Scroll down......
January 2 to January 11 ........Lion
January 12 to January 24 .......Salmon
January 25 to February 3 .......Bear
February 4 to February 8 .......Rat
February 9 to February 18 ......Fox
February 19 to February 28 .....Ferret
March 1 to March 10 ............Crow
March 11 to March 20 ...........Magpie
March 21 .......................Elephant
March 22 to March 31 ...........Badger
April 1 to April 10 ............Ostrich
April 11 to April 20 ...........Duck Billed Platypus
April 21 to April 30 ...........Goat
May 1 to May 14 ................Salmon
May 15 to May 24 ...............Hyena
May 25 to June 3 ...............Monkey
June 4 to June 13 ..............Giraffe
June 14 to June 23 .............Flamingo
June 24 ........................Frog
June 25 to July 4 ..............Lion
July 5 to July 14 ............. Chimpanzee
July 15 to July 25 .............Raccoon
July 26 to August 4 ............Dog
August 5 to August 13 ..........Ferret
August 14 to August 23 .........Elephant
August 24 to September 2 .......Monkey
September 3 to September 12 ....Magpie
September 13 to September 22 ...Warthog
September 23 ...................Badger
September 24 to October 3 ......Bear
October 4 to October 13 ........Frog
October 14 to October 23 .......Duck Billed Platypus
October 24 to November 11 ......Rat
November 12 to November 21 .....Sloth
November 22 to December 1 ......Ostrich
December 2 to December 11 ......Warthog
December 12 to December 21 .....Magpie
December 22 ....................Giraffe
December 23 to January 1........Raccoon
Badger
Resourceful, loyal and well, small, black, white and stinking. You, like the badger, spend most of your time hanging around dark holes, looking for the slugs of the social strata. You're also a bit of a vicious
fuker, not giving up until you've suitably destroyed your opponent(like the badger and its "I'm not letting go till your leg breaks" attitude).
Bear
Fearless, brave and dignified are things you might associate with bears but there's no way in hell they'd be associated with you. No, the things you have in common with the bear are that you smell like you've had turd stuck to you for four months, your hair
looks like you've been in the forest for thirty odd years,and your breath smells of fish.
Chimpanzee
Chimpanzees are nothing but exhibitionists.
Especially of their bare asses. You're the type of person who wanders around beaches in the summer, practically naked, bar one or two pieces of string covering your genitals. You think you look great, when in fact your cellulite is clearly showing, and your fake tan is starting to run down your legs with the amount of sweat that's pouring off you.
Crow
You are the type who sings at parties, tries their hand at karaoke, and loves to hum round the building site / office. You think this is great and that everyone loves your voice. You are in fact Shit.Your singing talents are equivalent to that of a real crow.To top it all off, you've no sense of fashion either.
Dog
Loyal, friendly and disgusting. You'd give your right arm to be able to lick your own arse, you'll eat anything put in front of you and you'll do anything your mates tell you. Plus you've probably got a hairy back and you smell like a fuckin walrus during the
summer.
Duck Billed Platypus
A rare creature. You like the platypus, are awkward, goofy looking and spend most of your life hiding your stupid features.
Elephant
The elephant never forgets or so they say. You wish you could, cause you're fat, everyone insults you and when you're old, you're destined to become a wrinkly
wizened old bugger.
Ferret
Like the rat you are small and furry, but the thing about you is instead of trying to make friends, all you do is make enemies. No one likes you, you're a malevolent bastard, who'll stop at nothing to harm
others. As well as that you're a smelly bastard, who really should wash now and then.
Flamingo
Ahhh, the pink flamingo. In male terms the gayest of all creatures. You are extremely camp. You are prone to mincing around the place constantly, your voice is unusual, and you have abhorrent tastes in music.
Look at the way you're sitting right now! Its so gay! For the females, Flamingoes are vain creatures, you're constantly looking at yourself in the mirror, and that spot on your left cheek just won't go away will it?
God it makes you look ugly.
Fox
What can one say about the fox. You're nothing but a sneaky little bastard, who spends most of his time either sleazing around bitches (or vice versa for the females), thieving stuff and scheming constantly. You also whine a lot, you're as skinny as heck and you're hungry most of the time.
Frog
Amphibious (adaptive). Small and warty. Yup, you're a small warty runt of a creature. Your eyes bulge out of your head, and people avoid you like the plague for fear of catching some sort of ugly disease from you.
Giraffe
Tall, sleek and gracious. In the wild maybe, but in human terms you're a lanky awkward whore. Getting in everyone's way, constantly hurting people by mistake, and generally making an ass of yourself in public.
Goat
The goat, rock steady in all situations, firm on its feet, sure and strong, bold and daring. However when used as a metaphor for people like yourself, we must look beyond these qualities to the goats true nature. The Bastard child of Satan. Close relative to the sheep, who we all know has no mind of its own and follows anyone anywhere. Goats stink, so do you. It's got a manky beard, which is especially true of the females, isn't it time you thought about electrolysis?
Hyena
Hyenas are laughing all the time. Because they're stupid as fuck. If someone kicked you on the arse you'd probably pass out in a laughing fit. You're a bit of a pack animal too, spending a lot of your
time hanging round with your equally stupid mates, and are well known for coming up with such wonderful phrases as "look at that guy, he's wearing socks with his shoes, he must be gay" and rolling around laughing
at your cleverness for hours. In the office you're the type of person that everyone hates. You send people stuff like this constantly thinking its hilarious
when its really just a pain in the ass.
Do us all a favour and fuck off.
Lion
The lion, king of the beasts, noble and wise. Real lions are anyway. You however are like the inbred lion, whos looks are past their best, you'll do anything to survive including eating your own cubs,or in your case, stealing from your own mother. Like
the inbred lion you are destined to wander lonely forever through the plains of life until a hyena comes along and devours your shell of a carcass.
Magpie
Ahhh magpies, the veritable dirty thieving knacker of the sky. You've no morals, anything that glistens is most certainly gold in your eyes, and definitely worth a fiver down the local market, so in your pocket it shall jolly well go. You're also a superstitious creature. Prone to avoiding ladders and such,because lets be honest, you're a bit of stupid twat.
Monkey
Playful, cheeky and inquisitive. In the worst
possible ways. You play stupid practical jokes, you're a bit of a smart ass and you stick your nose into other people's business where its obviously not wanted. As well as that you have a tendency to play with your
genitals far too much, so cut it out or you'll go blind.
Ostrich
The ostrich, fast, nimble, quick. In nature.
Metaphorically, compared to people like you, they are slow, stupid, their eyes are bigger than their brains and are cowardly bastards. You have a tendency to be not so quick on the uptake in most situations. Romantically you are stupid, your eyes see an ugly
fucka, but your brain cries beauty. At the first sign of trouble, you'll pack your bags and leggit back to your mothers place.
Raccoon
Creatures of the forest. Scavengers by nature. Which is what you are, you're a mean bastard, never buy rounds when you're out drinking, you'd rather save money than spend it and you go through dumpsters looking for old stuff people have thrown out for your ratty abode.
Rat
Small, furry and loathed by all. You are the
annoying type who are no less than five meters away from your new found friends no matter where they go. You try much too hard to be popular, going everywhere you
can and leaving signatures of your presence. You think you're cool, when in fact nobody is actually friends with you, yet you know everyone. More people see you and tolerate you for a while, then they put out the
poison.
Salmon
Salmon are sleek, silver, fast and athletic. You're not. You're stupid, your house stinks and you look like a fish.
Sloth
Bone idle. That's all you are. Good for nothing. No redeeming features at all.
Warthog
Fuckin ugly. Nothing much else to say about you lot.