aussie
08-14-01, 03:36PM
A dying pilgrim, close to death from starvation, is crawling through the vast sandy misery of the Syrian desert. Just as he is about to give up hope, he notices an ancient, lonely Church standing a few hundred yards in front of him. He summons up his last reserves, hunches his shoulders and crawls inside, all the way up to the dusty altar, where he closes his eyes and implores God to save him from his terrible plight:
"My Father, my Father, I beg of you, send me some food, some succour, just as you sent manna to the hungry Israelites in the deserts of Canaan!"
The pilgrim hears a plop and opens his eyes. Right in front of him, next to the altar, is a piece of uncooked meat, dripping with succulence. The pilgrim falls upon it and praises God. He then repeats the prayer a second time, closing his eyes in humble supplication, and is rewarded with an even larger piece of meat. His third prayer produces a giant slab of meat, which delights him immensely. He is half-way through his hearty meal when he looks up and notices a leper painting on the ceiling...
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A missionary is living with an african tribe and teaches them about the sins of adultary and fornication. One day a negress gives birth to a white child. The Chief says to the white missionary "You have taught us the ways of sexual sin, yet here is a negress giving birth to a honkey." The Missionary clearly explains "No, no, what we have here is an albino, one of nature's phenomenons. Like over there with the herd of sheep, there is one black one among the herd of white ones" The Chief says "Ok, I won't say anything about the baby, if you don't say anything about the sheep."
"My Father, my Father, I beg of you, send me some food, some succour, just as you sent manna to the hungry Israelites in the deserts of Canaan!"
The pilgrim hears a plop and opens his eyes. Right in front of him, next to the altar, is a piece of uncooked meat, dripping with succulence. The pilgrim falls upon it and praises God. He then repeats the prayer a second time, closing his eyes in humble supplication, and is rewarded with an even larger piece of meat. His third prayer produces a giant slab of meat, which delights him immensely. He is half-way through his hearty meal when he looks up and notices a leper painting on the ceiling...
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A missionary is living with an african tribe and teaches them about the sins of adultary and fornication. One day a negress gives birth to a white child. The Chief says to the white missionary "You have taught us the ways of sexual sin, yet here is a negress giving birth to a honkey." The Missionary clearly explains "No, no, what we have here is an albino, one of nature's phenomenons. Like over there with the herd of sheep, there is one black one among the herd of white ones" The Chief says "Ok, I won't say anything about the baby, if you don't say anything about the sheep."