Diva
04-12-02, 12:05AM
Writers' Block Bites
I sat in front of this computer for almost an hour last night and bonded with my back space. The highlight/delete command and I are penpals. Not that I could think of anything to write, damn it.
I almost made through the whole day with minimal psycho interaction. Then mister "My name is John W" calls. Apparently he found an old pamphlet which stated that Alcoholism is a behavioral problem. He started ranting about the fact that is has been proven that a gene is responsible for alcoholism. He wanted to know who wrote the article and have that doctor retract the statement. After trying to brush the guy off as a psycho for a bit, I realized he was a determined psycho. That's when I released my PMS on him. The jerk didn't have a chance. I switched my speech into overdrive and didn't come up for air until I said, "And I'm hanging up now." Click! I threw everything from the freedom of speech to the facts of life and inconsistencies of theories and random results of scientific discoveries at him. I got a standing ovation. Five minutes later he called back. This guy must live with his mother. I told him I wasn't going to argue, and he could file a complaint with the proper department for complaints. He said he wasn't complaining. "Then why are you calling?" To point out an error. "That's a complaint." Can I say one thing? "Fine." Okay, First of all... "That's one thing. You're holding up people who need medical attention. You have two choices. Hang up or talk to the complaint department. Which is it going to be?" I ju... "Which is it going to BE!" complaints. "Hold please." Then I bounced his ass to an ever so grateful employee. Oh and by the way... just because there's a gene doesn't mean you have it. More than likely, you're an alcoholic because you can't handle just ordering one beer. So there.
Gee... I guess I'm over my writers' block.
It's Da News
Man steals car, runs from police, runs out of gas. Asks to be able to finish his beer before being arrested. He said nobody was hurt. Tell that the the sparrow, sicko...Man says woman slipped him a micky, brought him back to hotel and had sex with him. Therefore, he shouldn't have to pay for child support. Make him pay AND sterilize him...Remember when Bush said he didn't drink, but he did? (Picture). That ain't water, folks...Wonderbra Makes Chocolate Bra (Video). Why?Surgeon drills into woman's head in the wrong spot. She needed that like she needed another hole in her head...240 LB woman not allowed to teach Jazzercise. Well Duh...Olympic security plan for Cheney left in souvenir shop. Security? All you have to do is yell, "Boo!"
I sat in front of this computer for almost an hour last night and bonded with my back space. The highlight/delete command and I are penpals. Not that I could think of anything to write, damn it.
I almost made through the whole day with minimal psycho interaction. Then mister "My name is John W" calls. Apparently he found an old pamphlet which stated that Alcoholism is a behavioral problem. He started ranting about the fact that is has been proven that a gene is responsible for alcoholism. He wanted to know who wrote the article and have that doctor retract the statement. After trying to brush the guy off as a psycho for a bit, I realized he was a determined psycho. That's when I released my PMS on him. The jerk didn't have a chance. I switched my speech into overdrive and didn't come up for air until I said, "And I'm hanging up now." Click! I threw everything from the freedom of speech to the facts of life and inconsistencies of theories and random results of scientific discoveries at him. I got a standing ovation. Five minutes later he called back. This guy must live with his mother. I told him I wasn't going to argue, and he could file a complaint with the proper department for complaints. He said he wasn't complaining. "Then why are you calling?" To point out an error. "That's a complaint." Can I say one thing? "Fine." Okay, First of all... "That's one thing. You're holding up people who need medical attention. You have two choices. Hang up or talk to the complaint department. Which is it going to be?" I ju... "Which is it going to BE!" complaints. "Hold please." Then I bounced his ass to an ever so grateful employee. Oh and by the way... just because there's a gene doesn't mean you have it. More than likely, you're an alcoholic because you can't handle just ordering one beer. So there.
Gee... I guess I'm over my writers' block.
It's Da News
Man steals car, runs from police, runs out of gas. Asks to be able to finish his beer before being arrested. He said nobody was hurt. Tell that the the sparrow, sicko...Man says woman slipped him a micky, brought him back to hotel and had sex with him. Therefore, he shouldn't have to pay for child support. Make him pay AND sterilize him...Remember when Bush said he didn't drink, but he did? (Picture). That ain't water, folks...Wonderbra Makes Chocolate Bra (Video). Why?Surgeon drills into woman's head in the wrong spot. She needed that like she needed another hole in her head...240 LB woman not allowed to teach Jazzercise. Well Duh...Olympic security plan for Cheney left in souvenir shop. Security? All you have to do is yell, "Boo!"