Diva
04-12-02, 12:01AM
If I Wanted Silence, I'd F**k A Mime
Why do I get dragged into other peoples' sex lives? I look nothing like Dr Ruth [thank G-d]. Even more frustrating is the fact that I usually side with the guy, which ends up with my friend bitching at me for an hour about how she doesn't know why she ever asks me, bla bla bla. She's bitching at him because he want's her to be more vocal. She doesn't think sex is a time to chat. He wants her to tell him what she likes. At this point I begged them not to tell me details. "Look. He's not a fucking mind reader. You've got two choices: Either prop yourself up and let him enjoy himself or get over it and start telling him what you like. This isn't rocket science here! We've been through this. Get some tips from your mom, for Cripes sake. She'll tell you." That's when my friend got a tic. Her mom and I bullshit like a couple of sailors with weekend passes. My friend walked in one time when we were discussing the sexual appetites of today's women Vs those of when she was growing up and scarred my friend for life.
I always find it so fascinating to watch the relationships between children and their parents. Even when the child is an adult and brags about being 'best friends' with their parents... Mom starts talking about how rambunctious dad is in bed and the child turns into a squirming two-year old having a fit. Suddenly she's just a mom and talking gross. Then again, the two could be enjoying a hot cup of coffee, guy watching. The first Cold chained, tattooed, ponytailed studmonkey that walks up and she goes into 'Mom-mode', grabs the nearest spoon and thwaps! him on the head til he retreats.
Why do I get dragged into other peoples' sex lives? I look nothing like Dr Ruth [thank G-d]. Even more frustrating is the fact that I usually side with the guy, which ends up with my friend bitching at me for an hour about how she doesn't know why she ever asks me, bla bla bla. She's bitching at him because he want's her to be more vocal. She doesn't think sex is a time to chat. He wants her to tell him what she likes. At this point I begged them not to tell me details. "Look. He's not a fucking mind reader. You've got two choices: Either prop yourself up and let him enjoy himself or get over it and start telling him what you like. This isn't rocket science here! We've been through this. Get some tips from your mom, for Cripes sake. She'll tell you." That's when my friend got a tic. Her mom and I bullshit like a couple of sailors with weekend passes. My friend walked in one time when we were discussing the sexual appetites of today's women Vs those of when she was growing up and scarred my friend for life.
I always find it so fascinating to watch the relationships between children and their parents. Even when the child is an adult and brags about being 'best friends' with their parents... Mom starts talking about how rambunctious dad is in bed and the child turns into a squirming two-year old having a fit. Suddenly she's just a mom and talking gross. Then again, the two could be enjoying a hot cup of coffee, guy watching. The first Cold chained, tattooed, ponytailed studmonkey that walks up and she goes into 'Mom-mode', grabs the nearest spoon and thwaps! him on the head til he retreats.