Diva
04-11-02, 11:53PM
We Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident... Not
Lies. You can tell when someone's about to tell you a lie, they have to think about the answer. I suck at lying. I figured out a long time ago that it never paid to lie. Rather, my dad taught me. Couldn't sleep on my back, my ass hurt so bad. It was the only time I can recall getting a spanking from him. When you're a kid, lying is the first thing you do. 'Tell them what they want to hear and save your ass' approach. my friends' daughter walked in the family room where we were watching TV. Her face was covered in Chocolate icing. It was like she just stuck her head in it and chowed down. It took every ounce of strength not to laugh. My friend asked if she had touched the cake. The kid looked her straight in the eyes and said no. She[the kid] spoke as if it were gospel. We had tears in our eyes from holding back the laughter. She asked her 3 times, each time, she was adamant. Then my friend told her to look in the mirror. She turned and burst into tears. I told her, "Spoken like a true drama queen." Then I turned to my friend and said, "Oh she's good. she'd definitely a girl" and we both doubled over laughing. Meanwhile, the kid is standing there, crying. "Go wash your face' was all she could manage. She came back and sheepishly asked, "So I'm not in trouble?" My friends said, "No." Her eyes lit up. "But you're not getting any of that cake." The kid burst into tears. I swear it was like Gone with the Wind. Then her dad walks in, not knowing what's going on and turns to the kid. "don't cry, honey. What's wrong? Want some cake?" And that's why girls cry.
So..... Valentines' Day is tomorrow..... I wonder if I'll get any Valentine E-Cards. I wonder {This is a big ole fat hint, by the way}. Hmmmmm..... I'll just have to wait. Damn it.
I am about to do something so diabolical, so evil, so cruel... You will curse my name. Here: Play this addictive flash game. You have been warned.
News~N~Stuff!
Horse kicks male sexually assaulting her in face. She should have aimed lower.... Man arrested with 1,304 uncut diamonds in his intestines; he was taken to hospital, where they were "removed". Hellooooo, sailor... 77-year-old man succesfully fights off cougar attack. No Viagra for this guy...Mobster sperm smuggled out of prison seized by government, claims it's 'contraband'. This is your tax dollars at work, folks...Virginia school district forces the return of laptops after 11,000 students were caught downloading porn. What, mom? It's Sex Education...
Lies. You can tell when someone's about to tell you a lie, they have to think about the answer. I suck at lying. I figured out a long time ago that it never paid to lie. Rather, my dad taught me. Couldn't sleep on my back, my ass hurt so bad. It was the only time I can recall getting a spanking from him. When you're a kid, lying is the first thing you do. 'Tell them what they want to hear and save your ass' approach. my friends' daughter walked in the family room where we were watching TV. Her face was covered in Chocolate icing. It was like she just stuck her head in it and chowed down. It took every ounce of strength not to laugh. My friend asked if she had touched the cake. The kid looked her straight in the eyes and said no. She[the kid] spoke as if it were gospel. We had tears in our eyes from holding back the laughter. She asked her 3 times, each time, she was adamant. Then my friend told her to look in the mirror. She turned and burst into tears. I told her, "Spoken like a true drama queen." Then I turned to my friend and said, "Oh she's good. she'd definitely a girl" and we both doubled over laughing. Meanwhile, the kid is standing there, crying. "Go wash your face' was all she could manage. She came back and sheepishly asked, "So I'm not in trouble?" My friends said, "No." Her eyes lit up. "But you're not getting any of that cake." The kid burst into tears. I swear it was like Gone with the Wind. Then her dad walks in, not knowing what's going on and turns to the kid. "don't cry, honey. What's wrong? Want some cake?" And that's why girls cry.
So..... Valentines' Day is tomorrow..... I wonder if I'll get any Valentine E-Cards. I wonder {This is a big ole fat hint, by the way}. Hmmmmm..... I'll just have to wait. Damn it.
I am about to do something so diabolical, so evil, so cruel... You will curse my name. Here: Play this addictive flash game. You have been warned.
News~N~Stuff!
Horse kicks male sexually assaulting her in face. She should have aimed lower.... Man arrested with 1,304 uncut diamonds in his intestines; he was taken to hospital, where they were "removed". Hellooooo, sailor... 77-year-old man succesfully fights off cougar attack. No Viagra for this guy...Mobster sperm smuggled out of prison seized by government, claims it's 'contraband'. This is your tax dollars at work, folks...Virginia school district forces the return of laptops after 11,000 students were caught downloading porn. What, mom? It's Sex Education...