View Full Version : Workday Daily Question Week #15
Question:
Gifts from Relationships Past... Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
Reliquiae
12-08-08, 07:01AM
If it's pretty and you enjoy it, keep it. If you want to snuff out their existence completely, pawn it or sell it on eBay. HA!
Unforgiven
12-08-08, 07:34AM
Question:
Gifts from Relationships Past... Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
I still have mine. The relationship might be over, but it's still an important part of my past. I'm not going to just pretend it didn't happen.
Question:
Gifts from Relationships Past... Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
Anything I have from a past relationship is pretty much laying around collecting dust.
Poseidon
12-08-08, 09:18AM
Question:
Gifts from Relationships Past... Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
I usually bury it together with the body...
(well.. I keep some, toss some... depends on usefulness)
Question:
Gifts from Relationships Past... Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
I usually openly keep, unless it's something that either causes me pain to remember. I've stowed away cards, etc... but gifts that I really like are out in the open.
Keep. Though there may be pain from the break-up, it does not change the good that came before. As was said, the memories are part of you and I have no desire to cut away part of myself.
...As was said, the memories are part of you and I have no desire to cut away part of myself.
GREAT way to put it!
Reliquiae
12-08-08, 03:17PM
I literally burned everything that my ex husband touched or was purchased with him present...
Barbecue grills are SO useful.
Question:
Gifts from Relationships Past... Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
I have some old photos etc. from previous relationships. But there have been things that I have been asked about that I handed over voluntarily.
HeavensAngel
12-08-08, 07:52PM
I have alot of stuff leftover from previous relationships. Most all of it is put away in a box. I still have wedding pics from 1996 when I got married. Its all memories.
Question:
What is the strangest thing you have found in the street?
The first thing that came to my mind was a ballet shoe.
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1091/525739726_2f962986a5.jpg
Question:
Gifts from Relationships Past... Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
There wasn't much that I had from my last relationship. I think that it depends on what the relationship was like. I didn't love the guy. I hated his guts when I was with him and I hated them still when I wasn't with him.
When it was over, I had...a Christmas ornament and a hot chocolate tea pot from his mom (she gave them to me last Christmas), a Paramore CD from him from last Christmas, and various stupid stuffed animals. His haul was a lot bigger in terms of what he got from me.
My cousin's son has gotten the greatest use out of the toys, and I've, in fact, turned them over to him. He has all of the stuffed animals. Some sit in a basket in my living room for when he comes over to play, but usually, he takes them home. The Paramore CD is stuffed into a drawer (I hated it), the ornament is hanging on my tree, and the tea pot is on my counter, forevermore unused.
They didn't have any significance. I can't pretend that the relationship didn't happen, but I can spare myself anymore additional thoughts about it. It was all bullshit--every last bit of it.
Bahahaha, I'M NOT BITTER REALLY OK?
Oh! I still have pictures and things. After we broke up, I deleted every trace of him from my cell phone, e-mail, and Myspace accounts. He had really long hair and decided to get it cut once, so he gave me a lock of his hair. I pitched it. I had several of his things until mid-October or so (it'd been about four or so months by then) when I bagged all of his things up and he came to pick them up while I was gone.
I think that people need to be willing to part with the past to some degree or another. People who still have strong and loving emotional attachments to exes years later are putting a damper on any future relationships--there's always the thought of, "Well, if the circumstances were right again, would I be booted out the door for a memory?"
It's fine to keep things that are 'neutral' gifts--IE, they don't specifically point to an ex. If I walk into someone's room and it's decked out with pictures of the two of them, I'm not going to be a happy camper. I wouldn't expect a guy to be okay with it either if he came to my house and there were obvious signs of an ex around. If, say, there's a video game and someone asks where it came from, "my ex gave it to me" is acceptable. If there's a tapestry on the wall with me making out with another guy...just...no.
It's to what degree people hold onto the past that it becomes wrong. Holding on in a 'small' way is not bad, and might be a healthy part of the 'grieving' process. I dumped my ex about six months ago and there still probably isn't a day where I don't think about him at least once, but I try to reduce that number as much as possible because the feeling is never a pleasant one. I start to get associated with that constant pressuring feeling that I had when I was with him, 24/7, all of the time--and I'd really rather just forget it all.
*hugs* I can totally relate to your post, Teslus. When my ex and I split I threw away the cards and deleted his info except for what was needed by the police (yeah... drama much). Hell, I went through the boards and deleted anything and everything that wasn't needed that he posted.
I also agree that while I can see saving fond memories of past boyfriends (scrapbook memories, etc...) I don't think a framed picture of someone copping a feel would thrill Jake. Same way I'd feel if Jake had some love letter that he kept with him. Memories are fine... unless you keep them as a part of your current ones.
I also had a friend who would talk about a guy she dated years ago. She couldn't get past the 'good times' we had as teens. Twenty years later it's time to move on. When she couldn't I did.
It's not even that he was physically abusive (I mean, I never had to call the cops :P), but he certainly took advantage and had no problem with doing it as much as possible. He had serious maturity issues to get past and I couldn't stick around to help him get through it anymore. I exhausted every last ounce of energy that I had to make it work and it wasn't enough, and the big struggle every day is whether or not that should reflect on my self-esteem. So far, I haven't really allowed it, but from time to time, the fact that it ended does feel like it's "My" failure--although I know that more than anything, it's his.
I don't think people ever get to a point where they forget. I'll never forget my ex. But, I can live without feeling like I'm on pins and needles every day. I became such a nasty person to be around when I was with him--constantly frustrated and ready to snap at anyone who asked me the simplest question. I never want to be that person again.
That aside, I found someone better to spend my time with. When it's a loving and stable relationship--you know, if it ends, I can be happy. But when it's not, I can't look back on it fondly. Scuhrewww that.
And dwelling on a relationship for twenty years? o.o I can see a year or two, depending on the length of the relationship...maybe even slightly longer. But people have to grow up and move on at some point.
O DIVA, I luvez u lolcats. kiss me.
Question:
What is the strangest thing you have found in the street?
A wino.
A wino.
Dude... that's like every third step the closer you get to the beach around here.
Dude... that's like every third step the closer you get to the beach around here.
Passed out in the MIDDLE of the street with a dog licking them?
Half a cat. Yes, half. And no sign of the rest. :(
Bassmama
12-09-08, 04:37PM
What Teslus said.
Tes, you make a LOT of sense. I might just print that out & read it every day or so.
I seem to have trouble not being a doormat then feeling hurt for a long time because the person I trusted implicitley fucked me over. I seem to take a while to get over it. It's the whole betrayal thing & it took me a long time to realize that many people I meet have no loyalty, compassion, common sense, & have never been able to 100% of the time be honest- especially with themselves. I'm talking women & men.
Then there are those who are so golden.... well, you know. People who I call my family, even tho I'm not related to them.
Dayam- forgot to answer-
I told asshole to come get his stuff & he said he'd gotten everything he wanted. I took him a box of stuff once, & everything else was either given away, sold, or I still have now, not to remember him by, but because I don't connect emotion to 'things'.
I'm not sure what to do with my wedding video, though. I have the card where he proposed to me & that video. I was going to burn them both, but my daughter in law talked me into not doing it. She said I might want to watch it when I get old. Why???
What do you guys think?
I have two pictures of my first wedding. She kept the rest.
Bassmama
12-09-08, 05:28PM
Most of the pics of my wedding, I gave to him in that box full of stuff. I figured his mother could hang them next to the one she had framed & hanging on the wall on the way upstairs of him & his first wife at their wedding in their formal finery. I wonder if his girlfriend has gotten rid of them yet, as his parents have both passed away & I bet he's probably living there by now- with his girlfriend. Oh, well.
/me snickers as she remembers how BORING life was until the very end.
Reliquiae
12-09-08, 07:01PM
Question:
What is the strangest thing you have found in the street?
The center console (cup holder and storage bit) of a mini van.
a two barrel carburetor with part of the intake still bolted to it.
I'm not sure what to do with my wedding video, though. I have the card where he proposed to me & that video. I was going to burn them both, but my daughter in law talked me into not doing it. She said I might want to watch it when I get old. Why???
What do you guys think?
I think I would keep it. While the memories are tarnished you did have moments with him that were good enough to remember. Hell, he even showed signs of being almost decent during the divorce proceedings. No matter how it ended I think I'd keep it just as a reminder of a time in my life. Something to watch even if it was to see a part of myself in the younger years.
Reliquiae
12-09-08, 08:46PM
I think personally.... get rid of it. But then, that's how I personally cope with bad things in my life. I erase it.
I destroyed everything. The DVD, the pictures, the letters, I pawned the ring...
I wanted it to never happen. I don't need to look at those things to remind me what I'll not get myself into again.
I don't want those items to remind me of the abuse, the anger and the hate. I don't remember anything positive about that relationship -- I want to forget the entire thing.
But like I said, I erase.
Question:
Would you be upset with your S/O if someone that you thought your S/o could be attracted to, flirtatiously slapped your S/O on the backside?
Question:
Would you be upset with your S/O if someone that you thought your S/o could be attracted to, flirtatiously slapped your S/O on the backside?
Nope. I don't see getting upset with Jake over something that someone else did. It's how HE would respond that matters.
Bassmama
12-10-08, 09:34AM
What Diva said. Now, if my SO reacted too positively to it, he'd at LEAST get "the look" & a few words from me.
My ex used to ride in his ambulance with a young, pretty blond woman as his partner. He came home one day & told me that she'd come on to him & asked how to handle it- he wanted to keep her as a friend, but nothing more. I told him to be honest about it with her. I never harassed him about it or said anything to her when I saw her later. I trusted him. Too bad he betrayed that trust later. His loss.
Question:
Would you be upset with your S/O if someone that you thought your S/o could be attracted to, flirtatiously slapped your S/O on the backside?
I would not be upset with my significant other, but that bitch would not make it out of that place alive. Nothing pisses me off more than settings where it's -obvious- that two people are dating, and some stupid-ass third person comes along and decides to start flirting with one of 'em. I have experienced something similar (though not as overt) before, and I hated it.
I would expect my significant other to handle it. IE, nip it in the bud.
But no--I can't hold the significant other responsible for something like that unless he's been openly inviting it. If he's been flirting with someone in front of me, well, I suppose I'd be angry if ass-groping culminated in that.
But...I'm a pretty secure person. If someone else does it, he should say something about it and make it stop in the future. If he doesn't, then I'll be angry, yeah. And if it keeps happening, then...see ya! ;P
I seem to have trouble not being a doormat then feeling hurt for a long time because the person I trusted implicitley fucked me over. I seem to take a while to get over it. It's the whole betrayal thing & it took me a long time to realize that many people I meet have no loyalty, compassion, common sense, & have never been able to 100% of the time be honest- especially with themselves. I'm talking women & men.
....
I'm not sure what to do with my wedding video, though. I have the card where he proposed to me & that video. I was going to burn them both, but my daughter in law talked me into not doing it. She said I might want to watch it when I get old. Why???
What do you guys think?
HUH-WAT!
First, about the wedding video--why not hold onto it? It's a discreet item that you can put up somewhere and forget about, and your daughter-in-law is right--someday you may want to watch it again to remember what it felt like to be there in that moment. As much as I hated my ex, there were a FEW good times--they were very, very few, but they were there. Sometimes I think about them and laugh. To some degree, I credit him for changing me. I really grew up when I met him. That idea of the 'perfect' fantasy romance was quickly washed out and I realized that I'm more than capable on my own. Maybe even moreso. I grew up expecting that someone was going to whisk me off my feet and I'd feel great and better and alive, and it's not always like that. I'm still the same person as before. As bad as it may have been, think about what you can take from the experience; what did you learn?
As for the doormat thing, sounds familiar. My ex and I had only been dating for a few months when his car broke down. I ended up driving everywhere--taking him to school, taking him to work and picking him up probably at least once a week, and taking him out constantly as well. There was no balance in our relationship; I did everything! I was the emotional support, the financial support, and so on. I got tired of it. His bank account was overflowing and mine was constantly in the red. I don't remember any feeling other than, "God, I hate this," for over a year. I dumped him, and he was talking to another girl (blatantly) a week later. They were dating two weeks after that, and they are still together now.
Don't get me wrong, that pissed me off for a long time. A jack-ass like that immediately rebounding? It wasn't that I wanted him back--I just wanted him to learn a lesson. I was hoping that karma would come and smack him around and teach him a lesson, but it never happened. I'll never get the satisfaction. But...I don't want to hurt anymore. I did it long enough when I was with him.
Bassmama, I hope that eventually you don't even think about that video anymore. You're a nice lady. :P You deserve it!
Unforgiven
12-10-08, 10:35AM
I would not be upset with my significant other, but that bitch would not make it out of that place alive. Nothing pisses me off more than settings where it's -obvious- that two people are dating, and some stupid-ass third person comes along and decides to start flirting with one of 'em. I have experienced something similar (though not as overt) before, and I hated it.
I would expect my significant other to handle it. IE, nip it in the bud.
But no--I can't hold the significant other responsible for something like that unless he's been openly inviting it. If he's been flirting with someone in front of me, well, I suppose I'd be angry if ass-groping culminated in that.
But...I'm a pretty secure person. If someone else does it, he should say something about it and make it stop in the future. If he doesn't, then I'll be angry, yeah. And if it keeps happening, then...see ya! ;P
Seconded. This pretty much sums it up. Everyone please leave my girlfriend's ass alone.
.oO(Mental note... Leave Teslus's ass alone...)
K... got it.
Seconded. This pretty much sums it up. Everyone please leave my girlfriend's ass alone.
:wimper:
lolololol ASS
Yes... in fact I think he was referring to yours to be exact!! :p
Yes... in fact I think he was referring to yours to be exact!! :p
No one would touch my ass, and he knows it.
No one would touch my ass, and he knows it.
Now see... if I was the "flirting" sort that would tempt me...
but I am not the flirtatious type.
Reliquiae
12-10-08, 03:31PM
Question:
Would you be upset with your S/O if someone that you thought your S/o could be attracted to, flirtatiously slapped your S/O on the backside?
That HAS happened to me before and at the time I denied it ever happening (even though Me, my Parents, and My Siblings all saw it). Then I realized my ex husband was a whore. He was asking for that type of behavior.
If it happened to Jeremy, I'd kill the bitch that touched him because Jeremy isn't the type to invite that type of behavior. He's cold, and unapproachable. I wouldn't be mad at him.
Anyway, It was the beginning of the divorce proceedings. I feel that type of behavior is very inappropriate and that person doing the "smacking" obviously has no respect for relationships.
No one would touch my ass, and he knows it.
*touches*
Now see... if I was the "flirting" sort that would tempt me...
but I am not the flirtatious type.
*cough*bullshit*cough*
Question:
Would you be upset with your S/O if someone that you thought your S/o could be attracted to, flirtatiously slapped your S/O on the backside?
Not particularly. That would pretty much end his attraction to the idiot. Slapping him on the backside would offend him so much that I would probably be grinning. I don't even get to do that. Heh heh heh.
*cough*bullshit*cough*
No.... really.
Question:
Would you be upset with your S/O if someone that you thought your S/o could be attracted to, flirtatiously slapped your S/O on the backside?
I wouldn't worry about it. I date violent women.
HeavensAngel
12-11-08, 04:35AM
Now see... if I was the "flirting" sort that would tempt me...
but I am not the flirtatious type.
LOL!!! OK!!!
Question:
Clothing, dinners, make-up, or gadgets... We all have things we like to splurge on. What do you think you buy too much of?
Question:
Clothing, dinners, make-up, or gadgets... We all have things we like to splurge on. What do you think you buy too much of?
Dinners. Bahahaha. Or anything, really. I spend money on a whim--I'm terrible when it comes to managing it.
Question:
Clothing, dinners, make-up, or gadgets... We all have things we like to splurge on. What do you think you buy too much of?
That would be dvds... *hangs head* I have over 600 of them. Movies and tv series. Each season of a show counts as 1. *coughs* Yes, I am addicted. Blu-ray has slowed me down some since the damn discs are still more expensive. But I probably add 4 new dvds every two weeks. Still replacing vhs tapes I got rid of long ago and want the movies back. Between new stuff and old stuff, I never catch up.
Question:
Clothing, dinners, make-up, or gadgets... We all have things we like to splurge on. What do you think you buy too much of?
I think that DVDs is one big splurge, although we've slowed down some. Like Lael I tried to replace all my VHS ones. With the Blue Ray coming out I think I will be picky as to what I buy though. There's no sense in buying a Blue Ray edition of Highschool High.
My other splurge is the Sims2 game. I haven't bought the Sims3 yet... YET.
I think that DVDs is one big splurge, although we've slowed down some. Like Lael I tried to replace all my VHS ones. With the Blue Ray coming out I think I will be picky as to what I buy though. There's no sense in buying a Blue Ray edition of Highschool High.
My other splurge is the Sims2 game. I haven't bought the Sims3 yet... YET.
Hahahaha, Diva. By the time the Sims 2 came out, I lost a little interest. But for the original Sims, I had all of the expansion packs except for Makin' Magic. I haven't downloaded them since I got this new computer, so I haven't played them in probably almost two years. I recently just got back into the Sims 2. My current Sim is a big whore. Bahahaha.
Bought the University expansion pack, and I haven't bought a new one since.
I love playing the game. Nightlife kicks major ass. Between being able to own a car and become a Vampire... yeah. Seasons is cool too. Bon Voyage is fun to take the sims on vacation and find the secret spots. Freetime is one of the better ones. You get a lot of hobbies to do. I haven't played Apartment Life enough to move into an apartment or play a witch... but the game itself is so much nicer. It's too bad you don't live closer. I'd let you install the games I have. :D
Unforgiven
12-11-08, 04:48PM
Question:
Clothing, dinners, make-up, or gadgets... We all have things we like to splurge on. What do you think you buy too much of?
Food and books, but I'm so cheap by nature that one wouldn't think of it as splurging. I rarely spend more than a few dollars for a book, and commonly less than a dollar.
I love playing the game. Nightlife kicks major ass. Between being able to own a car and become a Vampire... yeah. Seasons is cool too. Bon Voyage is fun to take the sims on vacation and find the secret spots. Freetime is one of the better ones. You get a lot of hobbies to do. I haven't played Apartment Life enough to move into an apartment or play a witch... but the game itself is so much nicer. It's too bad you don't live closer. I'd let you install the games I have. :D
Would a lesbian fisting party be involved?
That aside, I was just never that into running all of the expansions at once. I just have the base Sims 2 installed right now. I hated how much slower everything ran with each additional expansion.
HeavensAngel
12-11-08, 05:42PM
PC Games
I have a ton and play like 1
I get the new games and play them and throw them in the closet
Reliquiae
12-11-08, 08:37PM
Question:
Clothing, dinners, make-up, or gadgets... We all have things we like to splurge on. What do you think you buy too much of?
Let's see. My immediate gratification is Starbucks. I will go there everyday (Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte) if I think I can spare $5.00. Second, is stuff that makes my house smell good. I'm obsessed with it not smelling like my neighbor's ashtray. (He smokes like a stack, indoors and never opens his windows & he's been there for years!) :heart:
And third -- things for my hair. If there is a new conditioner or anti-frizz serum, I'll try it. I'm desperate to not look fried.
Question:
Clothing, dinners, make-up, or gadgets... We all have things we like to splurge on. What do you think you buy too much of?
Not much of anything really. I live pretty frugally.
Question:
Gifts from Relationships Past... Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
Depends on what it is. Keep, unless it's got too many bad memories (or just potentially awkward memories) attached.
Question:
What is the strangest thing you have found in the street?
Oh god, more like what HAVEN'T I found in the street. Used condoms, human shit, porn magazines, drug paraphernalia, busted cell phones, books, letters...
Question:
Would you be upset with your S/O if someone that you thought your S/o could be attracted to, flirtatiously slapped your S/O on the backside?
I wouldn't be mad at her, but depending on the intention the guy might be nursing a broken nose or extremely sore balls for a week or so.
Question:
Clothing, dinners, make-up, or gadgets... We all have things we like to splurge on. What do you think you buy too much of?
Books. I've gotten better at it by ACTUALLY USING MY LIBRARY CARD, but I still buy way too many books sometimes.
Second, is stuff that makes my house smell good. I'm obsessed with it not smelling like my neighbor's ashtray. (He smokes like a stack, indoors and never opens his windows & he's been there for years!) :heart:<snip>
OMG. I can totally relate to the neighbor smoking bit. The woman who lived across from us would smoke outside her door a few times a day. While I appreciate her not wanting to stink up her apartment we live in a semi enclosed area and the smoke goes right into the window where our den is. Luckily she moved to the apartment next to us so we no longer have that bar smell. :p
Question:
What mindless activity keeps you from dwelling on your troubles?
Question:
What mindless activity keeps you from dwelling on your troubles?
The Sims2 game. *grins*
Question:
What mindless activity keeps you from dwelling on your troubles?
Bike riding, surfing the net, playing with Dumbass and tormenting Mine with my off the wall ideas.
tormenting Mine with my off the wall ideas.
Glad to help!:wha:
Glad to help!:wha:
You enjoy it. :p
Got some new ones for you BTW.
Question:
What mindless activity keeps you from dwelling on your troubles?
Masturbation. Doesn't take any thought, always puts a smile on my face and keeps me from turning my husband into a sex slave.
Reliquiae
12-12-08, 08:35PM
I watch TV. I'll watch King of the Hill, and Family Guy a million times as re-runs.
HeavensAngel
12-13-08, 04:48AM
Video Games and Eating!
Mine is yardwork. I love working in my yard. I have time to think about whatever I want, I get a good work out, and no one bothers me. (Mainly because they don't wanna take a chance on me asking them for help! LoL)
actually, no one bothers you cause we're afraid of getting into trouble when we do something wrong. LoL
HeavensAngel
12-16-08, 02:58PM
actually, no one bothers you cause we're afraid of getting into trouble when we do something wrong. LoL
Why do I believe this? LOL
HeavensAngel
12-16-08, 03:10PM
Nothing wrong with wanting the yard to be perfect and no one to touch it!
actually, no one bothers you cause we're afraid of getting into trouble when we do something wrong. LoL
HA HA! Pwned! :devilish:
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