Diva
04-11-02, 07:16AM
This House Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us
I was sitting at my computer, innocently looking at porn when I saw it. The biggest spider you ever saw! It was huge and had fangs and was foami... Okay, it was a small spider. At first I figured live and let live, until that sucker started crawling towards me. Not crawling, but sneaking. I looked up, it stayed still. I looked up again, it was closer. It was like those moving bushes in The Shining. I took an envelope and swatted at it. The sucker jumped. It swung on some web string like spiderman. All bets were off at that point. I armed myself for battle. Grabbing the squirt bottle, I ran to get some water. No way was I putting my hand near that web swinging stalker-spider from hell. I got one shot off and the demon jumped onto my wall heater. The squirt bottle jammed! It made a mad dash inside the heater. I let out an evil laugh. And scared myself. Then I turned that sucker on full blast! It may be a sauna in my home right now... But I'm not turning it off until I hear that sucker pop! The only spider I want crawling around my house better have a body like this.
I was reading through the news for your daily links when I came across the one where a woman struck back at Jehovah's Witnesses. She wasn't belligerent in any way, shape or form. All she did is knock on their church during prayer and offer them pamphlets. She was led away by police. These religious sects think that they are allowed to invade your privacy, leave booklets on cars and in mailboxes, but you can't return the favor? She was handing them back the booklets that they constantly leave at her home. I think she should be marked as a hero! I don't care what religion it is, they have no right to bring their beliefs into my home without my invitation. The impression that I get is that we are unable to think for ourselves and therefore must be led to the religion. If I want to know more about a religion, I will seek them out. I am perfectly capable of looking in the Yellow Pages for the nearest Church or Mosk or whatever for 'enlightenment'. The pisser is that they called the cops on her. What if we were to make citizens arrests on them for trespassing and depriving us of our right to privacy? I knew an old woman who lived on the end of our block as a child. We called her Cranky Lady and boy was she. Some Jehovah's Witnesses approached her while she was gardening and didn't heed her one warning. She turned the hose of them. The cops came by and asked her why she did it. I heard her say, "Well. When a dog comes on my yard that won't leave I spray it. Most times it won't come back. I figured it might work with other pesky, unwanted visitors as well." I'll never forget that cop's face. He had to muster up every ounce of strength not to laugh. Then again, they never did bother her again. Hmmm....
I was sitting at my computer, innocently looking at porn when I saw it. The biggest spider you ever saw! It was huge and had fangs and was foami... Okay, it was a small spider. At first I figured live and let live, until that sucker started crawling towards me. Not crawling, but sneaking. I looked up, it stayed still. I looked up again, it was closer. It was like those moving bushes in The Shining. I took an envelope and swatted at it. The sucker jumped. It swung on some web string like spiderman. All bets were off at that point. I armed myself for battle. Grabbing the squirt bottle, I ran to get some water. No way was I putting my hand near that web swinging stalker-spider from hell. I got one shot off and the demon jumped onto my wall heater. The squirt bottle jammed! It made a mad dash inside the heater. I let out an evil laugh. And scared myself. Then I turned that sucker on full blast! It may be a sauna in my home right now... But I'm not turning it off until I hear that sucker pop! The only spider I want crawling around my house better have a body like this.
I was reading through the news for your daily links when I came across the one where a woman struck back at Jehovah's Witnesses. She wasn't belligerent in any way, shape or form. All she did is knock on their church during prayer and offer them pamphlets. She was led away by police. These religious sects think that they are allowed to invade your privacy, leave booklets on cars and in mailboxes, but you can't return the favor? She was handing them back the booklets that they constantly leave at her home. I think she should be marked as a hero! I don't care what religion it is, they have no right to bring their beliefs into my home without my invitation. The impression that I get is that we are unable to think for ourselves and therefore must be led to the religion. If I want to know more about a religion, I will seek them out. I am perfectly capable of looking in the Yellow Pages for the nearest Church or Mosk or whatever for 'enlightenment'. The pisser is that they called the cops on her. What if we were to make citizens arrests on them for trespassing and depriving us of our right to privacy? I knew an old woman who lived on the end of our block as a child. We called her Cranky Lady and boy was she. Some Jehovah's Witnesses approached her while she was gardening and didn't heed her one warning. She turned the hose of them. The cops came by and asked her why she did it. I heard her say, "Well. When a dog comes on my yard that won't leave I spray it. Most times it won't come back. I figured it might work with other pesky, unwanted visitors as well." I'll never forget that cop's face. He had to muster up every ounce of strength not to laugh. Then again, they never did bother her again. Hmmm....