Diva
04-11-02, 07:15AM
The Pizza Guy Always Rings Twice
I'm being stalked by... the pizza guy? Sonofabitch. So the delivery guy keeps asking me out. The fact that I answer the door with no makeup and my hair up in a bun is scary enough. But this guy is persistent. It didn't bother me until last night when the phone rang. I answered only to hear a familiar voice saying, "Oh. Uh.. Wrong number, sorry." And hang up. It was the pizza guy! Shit. He mentioned before about liking my answering machine message. It never dawned on me that I was always home when I ordered so he couldn't of heard it then. Now I have to find another place to order my antipasti salad.... damn it. If I go missing, ask the police if there's a distinct odor of peperoni in the air.
Okay, time for a chick rant. I don't give a flying fuck that you skated free of the whole eating the apple shit. I should be able to order a G-d damned salad without some guy thinking it's a pickup line. Why are there guys [notice I am not completely generalizing, so don't give me shit] who think that the world is their fuck toy? Just because a chick opens the door does not mean it's going to be some cheesy soft porn event. Trust me on this... The pool boy does not get laid by Pamela Anderson... unless there's a camera crew around. And guys that look like Ron Jeremy? Oh come on.... Do you see that look being prominent in the mainstream movies and commercials? Wanna know why? Because chicks wouldn't buy a product that says, "Buy this and you can have a man like him." The guy sheds as he walks for Cripes sake. Fuck! Sorry. I just hate feeling like I have to wear a G-d damned veil in order to buy something without being leched on. You know why the chicks wear them, don't you? Because the men can't help themselves. And it's the women's fault... Explain that one to me. Then I'll explain why women smile when an animal is castrated on the farm.
News~N~Stuff!
The Frightened Statue of Liberty picture. Kind of says it all, don't it... Right-wing Israelis call for mass castration. Ummm... Have a nice day.... Nokia executive appealing $100,000 speeding ticket. The rich certainly don't get perks there... California to become last state in nation to number highway exits. Sniff... I'm so proud... Nicolas Cage's stolen Porsche found at the bottom of a lake in the Ozarks. The $100K car had only 100 miles on it. Now that's gotta hurt... Friends and acquaintances say John Walker was a moron even before he was caught with the Taliban. What was your first clue... British vets treating more and more stoned pets these days. Lovely.... And now, something completely different. Dicks for chicks. Heh... Marijuana Not Listed As Narcotic In Idaho. Gee, I wonder how long before it's renamed "The Reefer State"... Unlimited free tits and ass (Galleries). Take a long lunch, boys... And bring a box of tissue.
I'm being stalked by... the pizza guy? Sonofabitch. So the delivery guy keeps asking me out. The fact that I answer the door with no makeup and my hair up in a bun is scary enough. But this guy is persistent. It didn't bother me until last night when the phone rang. I answered only to hear a familiar voice saying, "Oh. Uh.. Wrong number, sorry." And hang up. It was the pizza guy! Shit. He mentioned before about liking my answering machine message. It never dawned on me that I was always home when I ordered so he couldn't of heard it then. Now I have to find another place to order my antipasti salad.... damn it. If I go missing, ask the police if there's a distinct odor of peperoni in the air.
Okay, time for a chick rant. I don't give a flying fuck that you skated free of the whole eating the apple shit. I should be able to order a G-d damned salad without some guy thinking it's a pickup line. Why are there guys [notice I am not completely generalizing, so don't give me shit] who think that the world is their fuck toy? Just because a chick opens the door does not mean it's going to be some cheesy soft porn event. Trust me on this... The pool boy does not get laid by Pamela Anderson... unless there's a camera crew around. And guys that look like Ron Jeremy? Oh come on.... Do you see that look being prominent in the mainstream movies and commercials? Wanna know why? Because chicks wouldn't buy a product that says, "Buy this and you can have a man like him." The guy sheds as he walks for Cripes sake. Fuck! Sorry. I just hate feeling like I have to wear a G-d damned veil in order to buy something without being leched on. You know why the chicks wear them, don't you? Because the men can't help themselves. And it's the women's fault... Explain that one to me. Then I'll explain why women smile when an animal is castrated on the farm.
News~N~Stuff!
The Frightened Statue of Liberty picture. Kind of says it all, don't it... Right-wing Israelis call for mass castration. Ummm... Have a nice day.... Nokia executive appealing $100,000 speeding ticket. The rich certainly don't get perks there... California to become last state in nation to number highway exits. Sniff... I'm so proud... Nicolas Cage's stolen Porsche found at the bottom of a lake in the Ozarks. The $100K car had only 100 miles on it. Now that's gotta hurt... Friends and acquaintances say John Walker was a moron even before he was caught with the Taliban. What was your first clue... British vets treating more and more stoned pets these days. Lovely.... And now, something completely different. Dicks for chicks. Heh... Marijuana Not Listed As Narcotic In Idaho. Gee, I wonder how long before it's renamed "The Reefer State"... Unlimited free tits and ass (Galleries). Take a long lunch, boys... And bring a box of tissue.