Diva
04-11-02, 07:15AM
Plumbers Suck
I stayed home sick Monday. I forgot one little thing. The plumbers are redoing the pipes in the whole building. I wake up to my door practically being broken down... Not that it would occur to my landlord that I'm Home and to knock or anything. Meanwhile, I put a deep conditioner in my hair and have to greet them with a toothbrush in my mouth, shower cap and some funky assed bathrobe of my ex's. My landlord reminds me as toothpaste is dripping off my chin that all of the water has been turned off until 5 PM. Lovely. I shut my bedroom door and crawl into bed. Somehow I managed to sleep with them knocking not one, not two, but four fucking holes in my dining room wall. Apparently they're not real bright when it comes to figuring out where the straight pipe is going. Around eleven I wake up and have to pee. I mean bad. No water and plumbers in and out. I was thinking drastic thoughts. We're talking peeing in the sink. No I didn't just so you know. I called my landlord and he said that there's enough water in the bowl for one flush... Maybe two. I never thought that toilet water would bring on a sacred emotion. Pray to the bowl! The bowl is good! The bowl will... Flush! Now the big decision. Pee now and lose that 'precious water'... Or wait until I can't stand it anymore. Then I heard it. They were flushing the pipes upstairs. The sound of water flowing. Bastards! Now I really had to go, damn it. Stupid people trick number 3,451 gazilion... I rush into the bathroom, bla bla... you know the drill. Then it hits me. I'm buck naked and the door is open. Ever pray on the toilet?
News~N~Stuff!
Bush lost consciousness in the White House from choking on pretzel. Our fearless leader. Do you think they'll outlaw snacking foods? Pretzels don't kill people, People who serve pretzels kill people... OJ to shoot documentary of himself at ground zero (One Pop Up). I hate this guy. I hope New Yorkers give him a 'fitting' welcome. Like throwing his ass inside of ground zero.... Top Ten things Bin Ladin is thinking right now. Heh... Cheeseheads may be barred from Super Bowl. All the women who have to go with them thanked the FBI. Not for their safety... It's just silly looking... Baby with tail born in India. That kid's life is going to be hell... Denise Richards Gallery. Be sure to check out the 'Wild Things' screen caps. It's definitely not the book I read as a kid... Shaq throws two punches at Bulls' Miller; four players ejected (Here's Video). Finally. Somebody's got it right. Heh.... Guy dresses up as Bin Laden for a party, gets beaten up by several people. You were expecting kisses, maybe? And it didn't happen in the US, by the way... Fired teacher emails essay assignment to students. Topics include: "What masturbation means to me" and "Which US President would you kill". Heh. I mean, how sad. I still think I've been gypped in my education. These kids are having sex with their teachers, I got to clean the chalk board of mine... Billionaire's ex-wife wants $320,000/month and private jet access as child support for one 3 year old. Somebody slap her....
I stayed home sick Monday. I forgot one little thing. The plumbers are redoing the pipes in the whole building. I wake up to my door practically being broken down... Not that it would occur to my landlord that I'm Home and to knock or anything. Meanwhile, I put a deep conditioner in my hair and have to greet them with a toothbrush in my mouth, shower cap and some funky assed bathrobe of my ex's. My landlord reminds me as toothpaste is dripping off my chin that all of the water has been turned off until 5 PM. Lovely. I shut my bedroom door and crawl into bed. Somehow I managed to sleep with them knocking not one, not two, but four fucking holes in my dining room wall. Apparently they're not real bright when it comes to figuring out where the straight pipe is going. Around eleven I wake up and have to pee. I mean bad. No water and plumbers in and out. I was thinking drastic thoughts. We're talking peeing in the sink. No I didn't just so you know. I called my landlord and he said that there's enough water in the bowl for one flush... Maybe two. I never thought that toilet water would bring on a sacred emotion. Pray to the bowl! The bowl is good! The bowl will... Flush! Now the big decision. Pee now and lose that 'precious water'... Or wait until I can't stand it anymore. Then I heard it. They were flushing the pipes upstairs. The sound of water flowing. Bastards! Now I really had to go, damn it. Stupid people trick number 3,451 gazilion... I rush into the bathroom, bla bla... you know the drill. Then it hits me. I'm buck naked and the door is open. Ever pray on the toilet?
News~N~Stuff!
Bush lost consciousness in the White House from choking on pretzel. Our fearless leader. Do you think they'll outlaw snacking foods? Pretzels don't kill people, People who serve pretzels kill people... OJ to shoot documentary of himself at ground zero (One Pop Up). I hate this guy. I hope New Yorkers give him a 'fitting' welcome. Like throwing his ass inside of ground zero.... Top Ten things Bin Ladin is thinking right now. Heh... Cheeseheads may be barred from Super Bowl. All the women who have to go with them thanked the FBI. Not for their safety... It's just silly looking... Baby with tail born in India. That kid's life is going to be hell... Denise Richards Gallery. Be sure to check out the 'Wild Things' screen caps. It's definitely not the book I read as a kid... Shaq throws two punches at Bulls' Miller; four players ejected (Here's Video). Finally. Somebody's got it right. Heh.... Guy dresses up as Bin Laden for a party, gets beaten up by several people. You were expecting kisses, maybe? And it didn't happen in the US, by the way... Fired teacher emails essay assignment to students. Topics include: "What masturbation means to me" and "Which US President would you kill". Heh. I mean, how sad. I still think I've been gypped in my education. These kids are having sex with their teachers, I got to clean the chalk board of mine... Billionaire's ex-wife wants $320,000/month and private jet access as child support for one 3 year old. Somebody slap her....