Diva
04-11-02, 07:11AM
Ahh, It's Monday... Kill Me Now
Guys never understand women. It's a fact. What do you expect when the manual starts off every page with "Disregard all previous pages." Sometimes the things that come out of my mouth amaze even me. Did I just say that? Wholly shit! What a load of crap! Sometimes I go with it, though. What the hell, it's out there. If I take it back, I'll look bad. I grew up around boys. The girls just didn't suit me. They were too wishy washy. Every one of them was bucking for the next Scarlet O'Hara role. I was having too much fun playing on the monkey bars, handball and wrestling. Everything was great... And then I grew tits. Everything changed. Boy did it. I had a training bra at eight years old. Talk about torture. Why they call it a 'training' bra, I'll never understand. I couldn't train them to do shit. Then we went to that 'What's Happening To Your Body' film. They split up the boys and girls to each watch their own gender film. I think that was the biggest mistake. Once we came out of that class, we were separate for good. Everyone was eyeing each other out. We did everything but sniff each other's butts. Everyone zeroed in on my tits, and started asking me questions... Like I was the information desk for the birds and the bees [shut up, Robert].
I still find it hard to imagine why tits have such a profound effect on the way you are treated. I'm not just talking about the men, either. I've had chicks get pissy because of them. One chick actually said that her boyfriend prefers smaller tits. He told her more than a mouthful is a waste. I retorted, "Hon, that's because he didn't want to hurt your feelings. You couldn't push your tits together with duct tape." When she said what did that matter her boyfriend spit out his beer and promptly steered her away. Chicken! The word 'bimbo' is often associated with large breasts. One of my sayings: You know what the difference is between looking classy and like a bimbo? two bra sizes. I could put on the same style shirt as some flat chested chick and I would be categorized as flaunting it while she's called tre chic. Why? Because they stick out more. I refuse to wear a baggy sweater to appease the little tits of this world. Which is probably why I'm doomed to be a bimbo and on chicks' shit-list.
News~N~Stuff!
Nastassja Kinski Gallery. Some T n A for your Monday, boys. Hi boss! Made you look.... History of Propaganda and Psychological Warfare. This is very cool.... A nude swimsuit. I'd love to see the look on peoples' faces when I walk down the beach in that... Police end 15MPH chase of traffic violator who also stopped at red lights. I thought OJ was in Florida.... Lawrence Fishburne was Cowboy Curtis on Pee Wee's Playhouse. Nonononono... This just isn't right.... How to restore your foreskin. Okay, I'm crossing my legs at this one.... Laetitia Casta Gallery (one pop-up) here and here. I'm too good to you... Fire destroys alleged ex-KKK leader's home (pictures). I didn't know they let women run anything but a vacuum cleaner.... Dennis Rodman arrested...... again. I hate that guy.... 5th richest man in the UK trains dolphins to take clothes off pageant contestants. I know this isn't news, but what the hell...
Guys never understand women. It's a fact. What do you expect when the manual starts off every page with "Disregard all previous pages." Sometimes the things that come out of my mouth amaze even me. Did I just say that? Wholly shit! What a load of crap! Sometimes I go with it, though. What the hell, it's out there. If I take it back, I'll look bad. I grew up around boys. The girls just didn't suit me. They were too wishy washy. Every one of them was bucking for the next Scarlet O'Hara role. I was having too much fun playing on the monkey bars, handball and wrestling. Everything was great... And then I grew tits. Everything changed. Boy did it. I had a training bra at eight years old. Talk about torture. Why they call it a 'training' bra, I'll never understand. I couldn't train them to do shit. Then we went to that 'What's Happening To Your Body' film. They split up the boys and girls to each watch their own gender film. I think that was the biggest mistake. Once we came out of that class, we were separate for good. Everyone was eyeing each other out. We did everything but sniff each other's butts. Everyone zeroed in on my tits, and started asking me questions... Like I was the information desk for the birds and the bees [shut up, Robert].
I still find it hard to imagine why tits have such a profound effect on the way you are treated. I'm not just talking about the men, either. I've had chicks get pissy because of them. One chick actually said that her boyfriend prefers smaller tits. He told her more than a mouthful is a waste. I retorted, "Hon, that's because he didn't want to hurt your feelings. You couldn't push your tits together with duct tape." When she said what did that matter her boyfriend spit out his beer and promptly steered her away. Chicken! The word 'bimbo' is often associated with large breasts. One of my sayings: You know what the difference is between looking classy and like a bimbo? two bra sizes. I could put on the same style shirt as some flat chested chick and I would be categorized as flaunting it while she's called tre chic. Why? Because they stick out more. I refuse to wear a baggy sweater to appease the little tits of this world. Which is probably why I'm doomed to be a bimbo and on chicks' shit-list.
News~N~Stuff!
Nastassja Kinski Gallery. Some T n A for your Monday, boys. Hi boss! Made you look.... History of Propaganda and Psychological Warfare. This is very cool.... A nude swimsuit. I'd love to see the look on peoples' faces when I walk down the beach in that... Police end 15MPH chase of traffic violator who also stopped at red lights. I thought OJ was in Florida.... Lawrence Fishburne was Cowboy Curtis on Pee Wee's Playhouse. Nonononono... This just isn't right.... How to restore your foreskin. Okay, I'm crossing my legs at this one.... Laetitia Casta Gallery (one pop-up) here and here. I'm too good to you... Fire destroys alleged ex-KKK leader's home (pictures). I didn't know they let women run anything but a vacuum cleaner.... Dennis Rodman arrested...... again. I hate that guy.... 5th richest man in the UK trains dolphins to take clothes off pageant contestants. I know this isn't news, but what the hell...