Diva
04-11-02, 07:09AM
And Of Course It Had To Be Psycho Day At Work
I lived through the first day back... Barely. That last hour seemed more like three to me. Of course it didn't help that my coworker kept saying, "Man the time's going to slow. Is it going slow for you? I could have sworn ten minutes went by... But it was only two...." I said, "Well, I thought it seemed long. Then again I thought you'd never shut up. But you had to take a breath sometime... So I guess it's not so long after all." Yep, can you feel the love in our office? Heh.
I know stupid people shouldn't breed... But what if one gets by the Gene pool lifeguard? What do we do then? Take this moron walking behind me for instance. No G-d should've taken that sucker out when he first spoke. As we came to the light he catches up with his buddy who introduces him to some chick. The first words out of the guys mouth were, "Wow! Those are some nice tits. Oh, excuse me, breasts. Are they real?" Granted, the chick was wearing a push-up bra that could double as an ear rest, but that's besides the point. His friend looks at him as if this isn't something unnatural for him to do. Then he stands there looking at her, waiting for a response. She snaps, "Of course they're real, I'm real." [Meaning they're fake]. "You didn't get a boob job?" She finally admits to it, adding that it doesn't matter, they're still hers. Then the guys says, I shit you not, "I heard fake tits feel different, can I feel?" And actually reaches out as his friend stops him. The chick slaps him anyway. He says, "Hey! What was that for? It's not like they're real or anything. You don't have to get so bitchy." Man, I almost didn't want to cross the street. My bet was she pushes the guy under the first truck she sees and calls it divine intervention.
News~N~Stuff!
New study suggests male adolescence doesn't end until age 34. Tell me something I 'DON'T' know.... Toyota is about to release a car with 'feelings'. It sounded good until I got to the 'wagging' antenna.... Ron Jeremy and Gary Coleman on Weakest Link this Sunday. Quality television time... Police chief orders diner owner arrested because hamburger order is late. Ahh, power... Man sues parole board for letting him go. I say toss his ass in and throw away the key...Drunk driver pulled over with too many passengers and two kids in the trunk (DUIs in Norway cost you a percentage of personal assets). Assholes. I like the idea of taking the personal assets. How about the kids, first.... Skywriter writes "God is Great," people freak out. I, ummm... You've got to be kidding, right? Right? LAPD nab 'Haircut Bandit'. All I know is... if some guy grabbed me and tried to cut my hair he'd have to swallow around scissors for the rest of his life....
I lived through the first day back... Barely. That last hour seemed more like three to me. Of course it didn't help that my coworker kept saying, "Man the time's going to slow. Is it going slow for you? I could have sworn ten minutes went by... But it was only two...." I said, "Well, I thought it seemed long. Then again I thought you'd never shut up. But you had to take a breath sometime... So I guess it's not so long after all." Yep, can you feel the love in our office? Heh.
I know stupid people shouldn't breed... But what if one gets by the Gene pool lifeguard? What do we do then? Take this moron walking behind me for instance. No G-d should've taken that sucker out when he first spoke. As we came to the light he catches up with his buddy who introduces him to some chick. The first words out of the guys mouth were, "Wow! Those are some nice tits. Oh, excuse me, breasts. Are they real?" Granted, the chick was wearing a push-up bra that could double as an ear rest, but that's besides the point. His friend looks at him as if this isn't something unnatural for him to do. Then he stands there looking at her, waiting for a response. She snaps, "Of course they're real, I'm real." [Meaning they're fake]. "You didn't get a boob job?" She finally admits to it, adding that it doesn't matter, they're still hers. Then the guys says, I shit you not, "I heard fake tits feel different, can I feel?" And actually reaches out as his friend stops him. The chick slaps him anyway. He says, "Hey! What was that for? It's not like they're real or anything. You don't have to get so bitchy." Man, I almost didn't want to cross the street. My bet was she pushes the guy under the first truck she sees and calls it divine intervention.
News~N~Stuff!
New study suggests male adolescence doesn't end until age 34. Tell me something I 'DON'T' know.... Toyota is about to release a car with 'feelings'. It sounded good until I got to the 'wagging' antenna.... Ron Jeremy and Gary Coleman on Weakest Link this Sunday. Quality television time... Police chief orders diner owner arrested because hamburger order is late. Ahh, power... Man sues parole board for letting him go. I say toss his ass in and throw away the key...Drunk driver pulled over with too many passengers and two kids in the trunk (DUIs in Norway cost you a percentage of personal assets). Assholes. I like the idea of taking the personal assets. How about the kids, first.... Skywriter writes "God is Great," people freak out. I, ummm... You've got to be kidding, right? Right? LAPD nab 'Haircut Bandit'. All I know is... if some guy grabbed me and tried to cut my hair he'd have to swallow around scissors for the rest of his life....