Diva
04-11-02, 05:43AM
I Am Thankful... That I'm Off Of Work !
I have never been one for the holiday seasons. Every year I have to go rounds with the holiday pep squad. You know what I'm talking about. This year they set up a theme a week. Do you know what this week's was??? Hat Day. You can't dress up for Halloween, but you damn well better be wearing a fucking silly hat on Tuesday. Next week is scarf day. Scarf day?!?!?! It's California, for Cripes' sake! When do we need scarves? The week after that is... drum roll please... Sock Day. These people need to be tarred and feathered. Can you take a wild guess who plays the roll of Scrooge every year? Damn straight. When they come around for the Secret Santa I mention that I'm Jewish. All of the sudden it's called a Secret Holiday Friend. Fuck off. I don't get Chanukah off. One year they put up a tree and then added a Dreidel for me. Woo hoo. A Dreidel. Then they tried to get me to enter their warped talent show and sing the Dreidel song. Needless to say, they walked away shocked. Since when did talent shows become a symbol of Christmas? Last year my supervisor tried to strong hold me into the spirit. I told her that she should respect my religious beliefs and personal choice. That I should not be harassed and forced to participate in a religion that was not my own. Nor should I be harassed by people demanding to know why I choose not to participate. She backed down faster than a mouse in a snake pit. The fact that I don't celebrate Chanukah is none of her business. [Robert:Shhhhh] It's the principle that counts. And well... they're just too damn peppy. Wearing mini wrapped presents on their ears and multiple colored sweaters that look like Walt Disney threw up. Sock Day... Bite me.
Holidays suck when you're alone. Then again, having to shop for that fabled 'perfect' gift pretty much bites too. No matter how bad the gift, you're supposed to smile and say thank you, 'it's just what I've always wanted.' 'How did you know?' crap. Unfortunately I found that little piece of etiquette out years too late. Imagine the arguments I could have saved if I had only known that little piece of information. Instead of my usual 'What the hell were you thinking?' or 'what part of "I hate trinkets, just get me a gift certificate to Best Buys so I can get what I want" don't you understand?'. Or the grand fit 'You're kidding, right? You mean I have seven more days of Chi-Chia pets and throw rugs to go? Lovely.'... I could have just bullshitted my way through the holidays and taken back the crap. It's a good thing people were in the holiday spirit. Either that or they just chalked it up to my 'off' month. My friends and I usually just treat eachother to dinner. It's easy, the conversation is better than any Sea Monkey set and everybody's happy.
There's News... And Then there's This
A 94-year-old American woman stricken with inhalation anthrax has died in hospital. She lived 94 years.... and then this. Shit. Yasmine Bleeth's mug shot and police report from her recent cocaine arrest. Baywatch? Shit. She looks more like Bay at the moon... American firms sign contracts with Cuban companies for the first time in 40 years. Is Castro dead? Or did he promise to NEVER let Elian come back.... Cop has ex-wife arrested so she misses divorce hearing. What a psycho. I mean Sir, Officer, sir. Shit.... Idiot drug dealers hand out business cards to kids, quickly gets arrested. Vying for the 'Idiot of the Year' award, and winning.... FDA approves contraceptive skin patch. Now THIS is cool! "Don't worry, honey. *Rolls up sleeve* I'm on 'The Patch'."
I have never been one for the holiday seasons. Every year I have to go rounds with the holiday pep squad. You know what I'm talking about. This year they set up a theme a week. Do you know what this week's was??? Hat Day. You can't dress up for Halloween, but you damn well better be wearing a fucking silly hat on Tuesday. Next week is scarf day. Scarf day?!?!?! It's California, for Cripes' sake! When do we need scarves? The week after that is... drum roll please... Sock Day. These people need to be tarred and feathered. Can you take a wild guess who plays the roll of Scrooge every year? Damn straight. When they come around for the Secret Santa I mention that I'm Jewish. All of the sudden it's called a Secret Holiday Friend. Fuck off. I don't get Chanukah off. One year they put up a tree and then added a Dreidel for me. Woo hoo. A Dreidel. Then they tried to get me to enter their warped talent show and sing the Dreidel song. Needless to say, they walked away shocked. Since when did talent shows become a symbol of Christmas? Last year my supervisor tried to strong hold me into the spirit. I told her that she should respect my religious beliefs and personal choice. That I should not be harassed and forced to participate in a religion that was not my own. Nor should I be harassed by people demanding to know why I choose not to participate. She backed down faster than a mouse in a snake pit. The fact that I don't celebrate Chanukah is none of her business. [Robert:Shhhhh] It's the principle that counts. And well... they're just too damn peppy. Wearing mini wrapped presents on their ears and multiple colored sweaters that look like Walt Disney threw up. Sock Day... Bite me.
Holidays suck when you're alone. Then again, having to shop for that fabled 'perfect' gift pretty much bites too. No matter how bad the gift, you're supposed to smile and say thank you, 'it's just what I've always wanted.' 'How did you know?' crap. Unfortunately I found that little piece of etiquette out years too late. Imagine the arguments I could have saved if I had only known that little piece of information. Instead of my usual 'What the hell were you thinking?' or 'what part of "I hate trinkets, just get me a gift certificate to Best Buys so I can get what I want" don't you understand?'. Or the grand fit 'You're kidding, right? You mean I have seven more days of Chi-Chia pets and throw rugs to go? Lovely.'... I could have just bullshitted my way through the holidays and taken back the crap. It's a good thing people were in the holiday spirit. Either that or they just chalked it up to my 'off' month. My friends and I usually just treat eachother to dinner. It's easy, the conversation is better than any Sea Monkey set and everybody's happy.
There's News... And Then there's This
A 94-year-old American woman stricken with inhalation anthrax has died in hospital. She lived 94 years.... and then this. Shit. Yasmine Bleeth's mug shot and police report from her recent cocaine arrest. Baywatch? Shit. She looks more like Bay at the moon... American firms sign contracts with Cuban companies for the first time in 40 years. Is Castro dead? Or did he promise to NEVER let Elian come back.... Cop has ex-wife arrested so she misses divorce hearing. What a psycho. I mean Sir, Officer, sir. Shit.... Idiot drug dealers hand out business cards to kids, quickly gets arrested. Vying for the 'Idiot of the Year' award, and winning.... FDA approves contraceptive skin patch. Now THIS is cool! "Don't worry, honey. *Rolls up sleeve* I'm on 'The Patch'."