Diva
04-11-02, 05:39AM
Never Spray Binaca Into Someone's Mouth Without Asking First... Apparently It's Rude Or Something
Three years. Three years and countless searches. Tearing everything apart. Then I wake up and walk out to the kitchen. There it was! Just lying there, as if it were never gone. My right slipper. Not just any slipper, mind you. The perfect slip on slipper. Spandex like material on the outside, soft cotton inside. Paper thin leather sole. Why am I going on about a damn shoe? Because it drove me ape-shit when I lost it. I just know that bitch had something to do with it. I could see it in her eyes. Dancing around me and laughing as I tried to find it. Taunting me. I pointed, and demanded to know where this slipper has been for the past three years. She purred. Oh, she's a coy one. Well I showed her. I only pet her once. Okay, twice. But that was it! Two can play at that game. Oh yeah, two can play it very well. Shit. I need to get out more.
Don't you hate losing something? It doesn't matter how trivial. When you can't find it... It might as well be a slab of gold. I remember tearing apart my room once and then sitting in the middle and just crying. My roommate came in and just stared. Then he made the fatal mistake of saying it. You know what I'm talking about. All together now: "Don't worry. It's usually in the last place that you look." Argh!!! No shit, Sherlock! I think my head spun and green split pea soup spewed out. It's not very often I see a man cower. Then again... It was my 'odd' month. Man, I'm surprised I can't just get my cycle by asking a person on the street corner. It seemed like EVERYONE knew when 'Hell Week' was about to start. He met my doctor once and asked him if there was anything to take for PMS. When my doctor asked me what I was taking, my roommate interrupted and said, "No. I mean for me."
Three years. Three years and countless searches. Tearing everything apart. Then I wake up and walk out to the kitchen. There it was! Just lying there, as if it were never gone. My right slipper. Not just any slipper, mind you. The perfect slip on slipper. Spandex like material on the outside, soft cotton inside. Paper thin leather sole. Why am I going on about a damn shoe? Because it drove me ape-shit when I lost it. I just know that bitch had something to do with it. I could see it in her eyes. Dancing around me and laughing as I tried to find it. Taunting me. I pointed, and demanded to know where this slipper has been for the past three years. She purred. Oh, she's a coy one. Well I showed her. I only pet her once. Okay, twice. But that was it! Two can play at that game. Oh yeah, two can play it very well. Shit. I need to get out more.
Don't you hate losing something? It doesn't matter how trivial. When you can't find it... It might as well be a slab of gold. I remember tearing apart my room once and then sitting in the middle and just crying. My roommate came in and just stared. Then he made the fatal mistake of saying it. You know what I'm talking about. All together now: "Don't worry. It's usually in the last place that you look." Argh!!! No shit, Sherlock! I think my head spun and green split pea soup spewed out. It's not very often I see a man cower. Then again... It was my 'odd' month. Man, I'm surprised I can't just get my cycle by asking a person on the street corner. It seemed like EVERYONE knew when 'Hell Week' was about to start. He met my doctor once and asked him if there was anything to take for PMS. When my doctor asked me what I was taking, my roommate interrupted and said, "No. I mean for me."