Diva
04-11-02, 05:36AM
I Cant Believe It... A Head Cold With 3 Days Off!!
I woke up and couldn't lift my head. It was like there was a cry for all the phlem in the world to unite. Oh shut up. How do think I felt? Any way, back to the phlem. Okay, past that then. Colds bite. you just feel crappy enough not to do anything, but not enough to let you forget that you're not doing anything. Basically, you lay in bed with a guilt trip. Any Jewish man reading this knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I ordered Italian and the guy who's taking the order says, "Are you okay? You sound horrible." I love when people say things like that. Really. It gives me material. Then the delivery guy comes and starts hitting on me. Now he's already said that I looked 'tired'. Maybe he thinks I'll be too weak to fend off his advances. Think again, rocket-boy! I say that I'm seeing someone. He asks if he's there. No. His response? "Well, I'm here. Let me take care of you." What a smooth talker, eh? I 'politely' declined. I can sure attract em.
I have a three cats. Anyone who says that cats are independant can kiss my ass. I feel like serving a restraining order at times. I just want to pee. I don't have some manly obsession with sitting in a bathroom on the toilet to read for hours. Sit down, pee, wipe, flush, I'm outta there. Nope. Because I have three cats vying for my attention. I know it's not Rocket-science... But I don't want to be 'distracted' while I'm peeing. A cat fight inches away from my toes.... That's a distraction. "For the love og G-d let me pee in privacy for once!!!" *Hear laughter* My window's open. Lovely.
There's News... And Then there's This
Lee blue jeans company to make bluge pants for guys with tiny weener blues. This is one of those "welcome to my world" retorts to the Wonderbra, isn't it? FTV anchorman visits supermarket, puts out fire on woman's head with his blazer. She caught fire lighting a cigarette. Is he a hero... Or defying Darwinian Law? You make the call... Dachshund bites wild bear's "bearhood" to save owner. Hahaha. I'll bet the other bears tease him for the rest of h... Ummm. It could happen... Next week's meteor shower to be largest since 1966. This is so cool, man. This is a 'gotta see it' event ... Nimda virus creator angry anti-virus companies didn't call it Concept, releases new virus with copyright message. Can you say, "What a fucking moron"? I knew you could...
I woke up and couldn't lift my head. It was like there was a cry for all the phlem in the world to unite. Oh shut up. How do think I felt? Any way, back to the phlem. Okay, past that then. Colds bite. you just feel crappy enough not to do anything, but not enough to let you forget that you're not doing anything. Basically, you lay in bed with a guilt trip. Any Jewish man reading this knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I ordered Italian and the guy who's taking the order says, "Are you okay? You sound horrible." I love when people say things like that. Really. It gives me material. Then the delivery guy comes and starts hitting on me. Now he's already said that I looked 'tired'. Maybe he thinks I'll be too weak to fend off his advances. Think again, rocket-boy! I say that I'm seeing someone. He asks if he's there. No. His response? "Well, I'm here. Let me take care of you." What a smooth talker, eh? I 'politely' declined. I can sure attract em.
I have a three cats. Anyone who says that cats are independant can kiss my ass. I feel like serving a restraining order at times. I just want to pee. I don't have some manly obsession with sitting in a bathroom on the toilet to read for hours. Sit down, pee, wipe, flush, I'm outta there. Nope. Because I have three cats vying for my attention. I know it's not Rocket-science... But I don't want to be 'distracted' while I'm peeing. A cat fight inches away from my toes.... That's a distraction. "For the love og G-d let me pee in privacy for once!!!" *Hear laughter* My window's open. Lovely.
There's News... And Then there's This
Lee blue jeans company to make bluge pants for guys with tiny weener blues. This is one of those "welcome to my world" retorts to the Wonderbra, isn't it? FTV anchorman visits supermarket, puts out fire on woman's head with his blazer. She caught fire lighting a cigarette. Is he a hero... Or defying Darwinian Law? You make the call... Dachshund bites wild bear's "bearhood" to save owner. Hahaha. I'll bet the other bears tease him for the rest of h... Ummm. It could happen... Next week's meteor shower to be largest since 1966. This is so cool, man. This is a 'gotta see it' event ... Nimda virus creator angry anti-virus companies didn't call it Concept, releases new virus with copyright message. Can you say, "What a fucking moron"? I knew you could...