Diva
04-10-02, 07:15PM
Shake, Rattle[d nerves] & Roll [My Asss Outta Bed]
I hate Earthquakes. I don't five a flying fuck that I've lived with them all my life. You can't do shit. They tell you to stand in the doorway. That's not for protection... It's so they can find the bodies easier. The news talks about having a system ready. 'Plan your escape.' Fine. You tell me where the shit is gonna fall, I'll make sure that I'm outta the way. Plan? I have three cats. The minute I pull the cat carriers out of the closet, they're crying and ducking for cover. Add an Earthquake in the mix? Just look for my naked body crammed half way under my bed holding on to my cat's leg with my mouth shaped in the remnants of yelling profanity. Oh yeah, forgot about the clothes thing again. I finally found the info on the quakes off of Yahoo News:"A magnitude-3.7 quake struck at 8:27 a.m. followed at 8:29 a.m. by a magnitude-3.0 aftershock. Six have been recorded so far. Seismologist Sue Hough said the earthquakes were all related and could be followed by more seismic activity." Lovely.
I tease my friend Morty and call him a dick-head. But THIS is just too friggin funny. He is truly a twisted guy. That being said, size does matter and Morty... No wonder Bounce is always smiling. Heh heh. These aren't on my Links page {yet} and I'm not linked by them. So this isn't a plug. Enjoy!
A Couple Of Odds-N-Ends To Peruse
Leopard man shuns society for hut on Isle of Skye. By 'Leopard' they mean he tattooed his sorry ass from head to toe with spots and now can't show his face.... "Man in shoot-out with police because he was constipated. [1 pop up] "Sir.. Do you realize you could have hurt people?" 'I don't give a crap.' But that goes without saying.... "The history of the "finger". The Universal language.... A Dutch council is paying for a disabled man to have sex once a month with a prostitute. You have got to be kidding me? Hmmm... Ow! My toe! Ummmm. OWW! What ever will I do? Eh hem... Hello? Damn
I hate Earthquakes. I don't five a flying fuck that I've lived with them all my life. You can't do shit. They tell you to stand in the doorway. That's not for protection... It's so they can find the bodies easier. The news talks about having a system ready. 'Plan your escape.' Fine. You tell me where the shit is gonna fall, I'll make sure that I'm outta the way. Plan? I have three cats. The minute I pull the cat carriers out of the closet, they're crying and ducking for cover. Add an Earthquake in the mix? Just look for my naked body crammed half way under my bed holding on to my cat's leg with my mouth shaped in the remnants of yelling profanity. Oh yeah, forgot about the clothes thing again. I finally found the info on the quakes off of Yahoo News:"A magnitude-3.7 quake struck at 8:27 a.m. followed at 8:29 a.m. by a magnitude-3.0 aftershock. Six have been recorded so far. Seismologist Sue Hough said the earthquakes were all related and could be followed by more seismic activity." Lovely.
I tease my friend Morty and call him a dick-head. But THIS is just too friggin funny. He is truly a twisted guy. That being said, size does matter and Morty... No wonder Bounce is always smiling. Heh heh. These aren't on my Links page {yet} and I'm not linked by them. So this isn't a plug. Enjoy!
A Couple Of Odds-N-Ends To Peruse
Leopard man shuns society for hut on Isle of Skye. By 'Leopard' they mean he tattooed his sorry ass from head to toe with spots and now can't show his face.... "Man in shoot-out with police because he was constipated. [1 pop up] "Sir.. Do you realize you could have hurt people?" 'I don't give a crap.' But that goes without saying.... "The history of the "finger". The Universal language.... A Dutch council is paying for a disabled man to have sex once a month with a prostitute. You have got to be kidding me? Hmmm... Ow! My toe! Ummmm. OWW! What ever will I do? Eh hem... Hello? Damn