April Fools

[Diva]

This year I am sooo not in an April fools mood. I don't want to be tricked into anything. I don't want to be disappointed and then 'surprised' that it was all a joke. I don't want to be told there's a monkey behind me or a celebrity in front. I don't want to hear that there are buffalo on the freeway or Pterodactyls at the airport. I used to think it was cute. Not 'HA HA' funny, either. I knew a girl who was born on April 1st and her birthdays sucked balls. Big hairy smelly balls. One year she got a HUGE television box. She opened it to find a smaller box. This went on until she found a small ring sized box. She opened it and staring back at her was an M&M. She cried. That was from her parents. I'm sure this girl is in major therapy somewhere. Or prison for mass murder. To the little girl who never got a nice gift. *spills some coffee* This is for my homie. Wherever you are.

News
º Australians win undersea ironing record (http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKSYD33493120080401).
º Kids' show puppet stabs Bush to death (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23465575-13762,00.html).
º BB gun ban proposed in city (http://www.local6.com/news/15759031/detail.html).
º Man robs bank over bounced check (http://my.earthlink.net/track?id=1018002&add=1&url=/article/str?guid=20080331/47f06fd0_3421_13345200803311351254985).
º Wife sets cheating husband's new car ablaze (http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=nw20080401122957249C353918).
º Professor loses 32 lb. in hunger strike (http://www.local6.com/news/15759028/detail.html).
º Angry man crashes into car wash (http://my.earthlink.net/track?id=1017990&add=1&url=/article/str?guid=20080331/47f06fd0_3421_1334520080331-707679094).
º Lingerie for the dead sold in Malaysia (http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=nw20080401085850514C404749).
º Pay per view funerals go online (http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKL0192261920080401).
º 11 students planned to kill 3rd grade teacher (http://www.local6.com/news/15757528/detail.html).
º Japanese teen is a pen-spinning champ (http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKT28362320080331).
º Naked officer chases down car thief (http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=vn20080401111458969C242338).
º 9 year-old escapes with dad's $10 grand (http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=29&art_id=vn20080331113826333C909306&set_id=1).
º Crowd hit by fireworks at Wrestlemania event (http://www.local6.com/news/15751533/detail.html).

Levity
º Webcomic: Dinoballs! (http://www.dinoballs.com/index.php/)
º Top 10 Worst Captchas (http://www.johnmwillis.com/other/top-10-worst-captchas/)
º Video: Every lazy dog owner needs this (http://www.dumpalink.com/videos/The_most_amazing_invention_for_a_dog-2a38.html)
º LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS) (http://www.bouldertherapist.com/html/humor/WordPlays/lexophiles.htm)
º Photos: Dachshund Adopts Piglet (http://pax-europa.com/temp/weird.jpg)
º Very cute gal stripping (http://galleries2.ftvcash.com/First-Time-Video/galleries/Babes/8/301/666724)

[fosul]

What a bunch of fucking dicks. This is why I am glad my birthday never falls on other holidays.

[Unforgiven]

I knew a girl who was born on April 1st and her birthdays sucked balls. Big hairy smelly balls. One year she got a HUGE television box. She opened it to find a smaller box. This went on until she found a small ring sized box. She opened it and staring back at her was an M&M. She cried.

Pussy. As though she couldn't see it coming. I'd have laughed.

Hell, my grandparents have given me stuff like a box of air after I told them I didn't want anything for Christmas. Similar idea, except I didn't cry.

[JakeD]

The thing I hate most about April Fool's is that it's the day where unfunny assholes the world over decide to unleash their own personal brand of jihad against the concept of humor.

If some generic douchebag tries to prank me today I'm going to break their fingers one by one until they apologize. April Fool's that, fuckface.

[NCeddie]

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee90/nceddie/littlegirl-remember-birthday.jpg

[Diva]

What a bunch of fucking dicks. This is why I am glad my birthday never falls on other holidays.

I know! There's funny and then there's cruel. Most people don't know the difference.


Pussy. As though she couldn't see it coming. I'd have laughed.

Hell, my grandparents have given me stuff like a box of air after I told them I didn't want anything for Christmas. Similar idea, except I didn't cry.

She was a little girl! Jeesh....


The thing I hate most about April Fool's is that it's the day where unfunny assholes the world over decide to unleash their own personal brand of jihad against the concept of humor.

If some generic douchebag tries to prank me today I'm going to break their fingers one by one until they apologize. April Fool's that, fuckface.

:| Jake ANNNNGRY


http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee90/nceddie/littlegirl-remember-birthday.jpg

Awwwww! That's a sweet thing to make! *hugs*

[gharm]

To the little girl who never got a nice gift. *spills some coffee* This is for my homie. :lolrotf:

[Bones]

My Uncle did the big box with a bunch of little boxes thing to me once on my birthday. But there was a $100 in the last box. He made me work for it. But it was worth it.

[mine]

how can people be such assholes to their own children?:rant:

[CultLeadr]

That was a sad story, but rather hilarious too.

I don't even realize it's a holiday until someone
mentions it to me, or I receive fifty thousand hints first. It just now dawned on me that it's April Fool's.

[Isotrip]

Welp time for me to duck and cover....

*PooF*

[Bones]

What a bunch of fucking dicks. This is why I am glad my birthday never falls on other holidays.

Every few years my birthday falls on Mothers Day and everyone forgets me. :(

[trekbugging]

"the company has decided due to cutbacks that you can only use 2 squares of toilet paper--if you need more please use your own resources"--
left that on the doors of the bathrooms of the station-- since we only have 6 people in this building all thought it was funny and have left the signs up

4 years ago a friend and i covered a fellow employees desk totally in aluminum foil-- he came in later and almost droped a gut laughing so hard--then tried to get me back by saran wrapping my car--cept he only bought one roll of wrap and it barely went around my car twice--where as i had bought the mega roll of foil and we spent 4 hours covering his deska dn pens, computer and all

stuff that isn't dangerous or mean spirited i can do or take but the -- your fired, i'm selling the business and all will be out of a job shit sucks

[pilsbury]

The BBC came up with a real mother of an April Fools gag, on BBC breakfast they broadcast a report about Flying Penquins!

nrxmpihCjqw

In 1957, The BBC had a wonderful April Fools prank, Spaghetti Trees! Sadly I can't find a good version of this on You tube.