Diva
04-08-02, 08:01PM
If Oral Sex Is Foreplay, What Do Lesbians Consider It?
You know that saying, "To err is human... To forgive is divine"? The guy who wrote that baby was trying to dodge a cold night in the dog house. It's amazing how people start whipping out the flowers and romance when the shit hits the fan. My ex used to practically hand out literature on that evil Hallmark creation called "Valentines Day" [spit as you say it for full effect]. One of my male friends actually started agreeing with him. He looked at me with the biggest smirk I've ever seen. Under origin of the word "Bitch-slap" was that exact smirk. Then he started saying, "See, he agrees with me." Before I could add my two cents in My friend chimed in, "Of course I agree. Why should you limit lavishing affection on someone that you care about to only one day..." Hot damn! He sulked the rest of the night. I swear that guy was so romantically challenged I'd have to invent the romance. Trust me on this, guys... Chicks were born with this talent.
"Oh, last night [asshole] was so sweet. He gave me candy."
"You're kidding?!?! [Asshole] actually did something romantic? There's hope for him yet. Details, woman, details."
"Ummm. Okay... We had just finished dinner. The waiter asked if we wanted anything else. Then he gave us the bill. I was fumbling through my purse [in hopes that he would insist on paying the bill] and he said, "Hey. Sweets for my sweets." And gave it to me. Isn't that adorable?"
"Wow. That is sweet! I never thought [asshole] had it in hi... Wait a minute. What kind of candy did he get you?"
"Huh? Oh, ummmm. Heh heh. You know. The kind that {mumble mumble *cough* mumble}".
"Come on, spit it out."
Okay, okay. It was the candy that came with the check. But the 'Sweets for my sweet' was origi... What?"
"Hey, blondie. What's it say on this candy wrapper?"
"It says, 'Swee....' Fuck! Asshole."
You know that saying, "To err is human... To forgive is divine"? The guy who wrote that baby was trying to dodge a cold night in the dog house. It's amazing how people start whipping out the flowers and romance when the shit hits the fan. My ex used to practically hand out literature on that evil Hallmark creation called "Valentines Day" [spit as you say it for full effect]. One of my male friends actually started agreeing with him. He looked at me with the biggest smirk I've ever seen. Under origin of the word "Bitch-slap" was that exact smirk. Then he started saying, "See, he agrees with me." Before I could add my two cents in My friend chimed in, "Of course I agree. Why should you limit lavishing affection on someone that you care about to only one day..." Hot damn! He sulked the rest of the night. I swear that guy was so romantically challenged I'd have to invent the romance. Trust me on this, guys... Chicks were born with this talent.
"Oh, last night [asshole] was so sweet. He gave me candy."
"You're kidding?!?! [Asshole] actually did something romantic? There's hope for him yet. Details, woman, details."
"Ummm. Okay... We had just finished dinner. The waiter asked if we wanted anything else. Then he gave us the bill. I was fumbling through my purse [in hopes that he would insist on paying the bill] and he said, "Hey. Sweets for my sweets." And gave it to me. Isn't that adorable?"
"Wow. That is sweet! I never thought [asshole] had it in hi... Wait a minute. What kind of candy did he get you?"
"Huh? Oh, ummmm. Heh heh. You know. The kind that {mumble mumble *cough* mumble}".
"Come on, spit it out."
Okay, okay. It was the candy that came with the check. But the 'Sweets for my sweet' was origi... What?"
"Hey, blondie. What's it say on this candy wrapper?"
"It says, 'Swee....' Fuck! Asshole."