How About a Date and a %!&#@

[Diva]

Times are changing... and what was taboo before is like date night now. So... how you do you think you should wait before having sex with someone you've met?

[Unforgiven]

I voted a month. Not something I have a lot of precedent by which to judge, but I'm somewhere around there, I'd guess. Not exactly jumping in bed with anything with two legs and consent, but not at all waiting for a wedding either, to say the least.

[Poseidon]

2 or 3 drinks to maybe a 2nd/3rd date. Sometimes $50 instead...

[Amaurote]

I don't think society has changed all that much in the last fifty years. Your mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers were having just as much sex - they just weren't bragging about it as much as we do.

[MeLsWeEtiE]

Heh, I used to be quite whorerific...I had more fuck buddies than anything. Never really thought about it until now. lol Go out to a movie, go get something to eat, go somewhere and fuck. Good times. :D

I actually waited 1 month before having sex with my first boyfriend simply because I wanted to see if I could last that long. Others, I didn't have that much willpower.

/me feels quite slutty now.

I guess that's what happens when you live in a town that doesn't have anything to do except for meet people your age and older...and fuck.

[trekbugging]

i was a male slut for a while-yes my wife knows -jsut not how many--you never tell that-- and at that time it was normally 2nd date and sex--sometimes first date and sex --and like mel i had some fuck buddies that that's all we both wanted-- not if i wasn't married would wait at least 3 dates--hahahahah

[Bones]

It used to would have been 2 or 3 drinks. But I've been waiting on Eq for months now. She's worth waiting for.

[kittyroze]

I voted for two or three dates, but I've always dated people I was friends with first - so really, I have only been with guys I've known for more than a year.

[JakeD]

I don't think society has changed all that much in the last fifty years. Your mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers were having just as much sex - they just weren't bragging about it as much as we do.

*starts violently throwing up and crying*

[Marsbert]

I voted for a month...thats how long Keith and I waited after we started dating...and since he's my first that's the longest I can say I've waited...

[dynamitt]

I voted other. I have waited longer then a month but not until marriage. I really think it all depends though. Sometime you know it very early that its right and other times you need more time.

[Bassmama]

I voted other, too.

My first love (& I'm STILL in love with him) I was 14 & we just didn't do "THAT" until marriage- or that's the brainwashing I'd had. Don't forget that was the mid- '60s. I was 17 the first time I had sex & found out that I really REALLLLLLLLY liked it, but the guy (a different one- also his 1st time) was much more brainwashed than I was & catholic-raised to boot, so started giving me reading materials on converting religions & I ran like hell from him.

I was in college & met my 1st husband & had sex w/him on about our 3rd date & the poor guy couldn't get out of the bed for hours. He was as bad (good) as I was...

After the divorce, I figured that if the chemistry was there, do it to it. I think Melsweetie had it right & I shoulda (& did) done it like her.

Right now I've been reluctantly celebate for over 5 years- by choice pretty much, but also because the opportunities are few & far between & I haven't met but VERY few I'd even consider- then reject.

If the chemistry was right, I'd go for it... just haven't found anyone that I want anything to do with.

[MeLsWeEtiE]

lol I'm just glad I made it without ever getting any STD's or anything. I was at least smart about those kind of decisions. And thinking about it, I don't really "regret" the choices I made, but I think if I could go back, I would do things a little differently.

[thestarsfall]

I vote Other, because it really depends on the circumstances. If I were dating someone and it was really important to them to wait until marriage or engagement or whatever, and I loved them...then I would wait. But if I were dating someone who said it wasn't important and who I had huge chemistry with, and I loved them...then whenever it happens it happens.

I do think I need to love them though. Unless I get horribly brokenhearted then I think love is a very important part of the equation.

[trekbugging]

i actually turned on girl down--as after we were naked and alsmot into ast-she asked me if i loved her (what i just met you 3 hours ago-- so i told he i wasn't going to say i love you as we jsut met) she said if i didn't love her we couldn't do anything--so i got up and started to get dressed--she asked what i was doing and i told her i would have sex with her but we just met and i couldn't and wouldn't be in love with her--so she said wait and was jsut a little insecure-- i stayed and we had fun and even dated some but i never "loved" her--

how soon do you or have you said "i love you"???

[Teslus]

I think at least several months in, or even at least a year, is a minimum before having sex. This is a person who...if I screw things up...I might have a child with. I want to make certain that they're going to be around and help support what they brought into the world.

I don't think that waiting for marriage is bad, either. If I were with someone who wanted to wait until marriage, that's fine. We could do that.


As far as how soon I've said 'I love you' in a relationship...too soon pretty much every time, even if I have felt it.