Diva
04-07-02, 04:35AM
My Fortune Cookie: "You Will Enjoy Good Health; That Is Your Form Of Wealth"
As soon as I find my lung, I'm gonna kill that fucking fortune cookie maker. I actually got two of those suckers. The other one said [I kid you not], "Your Destiny Lies Before You, Choose Wisely". That's all fine and well, except I was looking at porn at the time! Damn it! At least it was males. That would have really fucked with my head to be looking at some chick's twat at the time. All I can say is... There'd better be a Dick. SOMEWHERE in that picture! People take this shit too seriously. That and dreams. Why the fuck would you want to sit for hours analyzing a dream? I dreamt I was walking through a forest and I found an opening to a large green field. In the middle of that field was a huge stone Dick. I walked up to it and touched it. It was wet. I licked it and then woke up. There. Analyze that. Searching for something... Seeking my protector, maybe? How about this... I'm fucking horny. I went to bed alone. I woke up alone. Coughing. End of story. Oh, and why is it that everybody else and their mother can figure you out by your fucking sign. You must be a "Capricorn." Nope, Aries. "Really? But you seem so much like a Capricorn." Sorry, hon. I'm an Aries. "That's so bizarre, I could have swor.." Look, here's my drivers license. April. Aries. Okay? I'm an ARIES. "Oh yes. I can see that now... You're definitely an Aries. You're 34?" Fuck off! "Geeze. Aries can be SO testy." Argh!!! How would anyone know? Were they passing out astrological sign pamphlets and I missed it? Was this some school requirement that slipped past me? Everyone knows what type of person you are according to when you where born? Great. I feel sorry for everyone who was born the same time as Jeffrey Dahmer. Everyone wants the inside scoop. They want to 'be in the know'. Well, I've got News for you. You don't know shit about me. Or anyone else for that matter. Relying on the moon and the stars and fortune cookies won't tell you shit. And this, my friends is the reason we're all fucked. Because someone got the bright idea that looking everywhere but the source will give you all the answers. So, instead of being aware of eachother's feelings and emotional status, people started looking up and away. Oooh. Look at the pretty stars! All shiny and bright. They'll know. Tell me Mister Star. Tell me the answers. You know what happens when you spend your life looking at the stars to guide you? You walk right into a wall. Smack!
As soon as I find my lung, I'm gonna kill that fucking fortune cookie maker. I actually got two of those suckers. The other one said [I kid you not], "Your Destiny Lies Before You, Choose Wisely". That's all fine and well, except I was looking at porn at the time! Damn it! At least it was males. That would have really fucked with my head to be looking at some chick's twat at the time. All I can say is... There'd better be a Dick. SOMEWHERE in that picture! People take this shit too seriously. That and dreams. Why the fuck would you want to sit for hours analyzing a dream? I dreamt I was walking through a forest and I found an opening to a large green field. In the middle of that field was a huge stone Dick. I walked up to it and touched it. It was wet. I licked it and then woke up. There. Analyze that. Searching for something... Seeking my protector, maybe? How about this... I'm fucking horny. I went to bed alone. I woke up alone. Coughing. End of story. Oh, and why is it that everybody else and their mother can figure you out by your fucking sign. You must be a "Capricorn." Nope, Aries. "Really? But you seem so much like a Capricorn." Sorry, hon. I'm an Aries. "That's so bizarre, I could have swor.." Look, here's my drivers license. April. Aries. Okay? I'm an ARIES. "Oh yes. I can see that now... You're definitely an Aries. You're 34?" Fuck off! "Geeze. Aries can be SO testy." Argh!!! How would anyone know? Were they passing out astrological sign pamphlets and I missed it? Was this some school requirement that slipped past me? Everyone knows what type of person you are according to when you where born? Great. I feel sorry for everyone who was born the same time as Jeffrey Dahmer. Everyone wants the inside scoop. They want to 'be in the know'. Well, I've got News for you. You don't know shit about me. Or anyone else for that matter. Relying on the moon and the stars and fortune cookies won't tell you shit. And this, my friends is the reason we're all fucked. Because someone got the bright idea that looking everywhere but the source will give you all the answers. So, instead of being aware of eachother's feelings and emotional status, people started looking up and away. Oooh. Look at the pretty stars! All shiny and bright. They'll know. Tell me Mister Star. Tell me the answers. You know what happens when you spend your life looking at the stars to guide you? You walk right into a wall. Smack!