View Full Version : Conan The Pedestrian
This morning, I had to dash to the Modern Languages Lab at my college to take a brief orientation. I walked the obligatory 3/4 mile to the bus stop, hopped on, went to the lab, and was out of there in 30 minutes. Left, caught the bus home, and stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few necessities that couldn't wait until my trip tomorrow morning in the RAV.
After grabbing a 14-lb. box of cat litter, a sack of IAMS, and coffee creamer for Diva, I stuffed most of it in my backpack and hefted the cat litter under my arm. I took the long route back to our street, and was crossing the driveway for Bally's Total Fitness when a car screeched up to me with the horn blasting and the prick driver screaming "HURRY UP!" The car was one of the new Chryslers that sorta resembles a Bentley, driven by a short-haired, red-faced, kinda doughy goateed white guy, who was howling at the top of his lungs since it was taking me so long to cross a six-foot wide driveway.
I was sweating my ass off carrying heavy shit and just sort of reacted. I shifted the box of cat litter from my right side to the side that the car was facing, turned towards it, and hefted the box over my head like I was going to smash it into his hood. His face twisted into an expression of terror as he put up his hands and yelled "DUDE! NO NO NO NO! STOP! FUCK! I'M SORRY!" "Cunt", I snarled at him, and stuck my lovely box of kitty litter under my arm and kept on walking.
Have you hulked out on anyone or anything lately? What happened?
kittyroze
09-08-07, 01:47PM
THIS
IS
KITTY LITTTEEEERERRRRERERERERRERER!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!
http://img77.imageshack.us/img77/4316/chrysler300cuo2.jpg
The type of car in question.
hahaha.
fucking great.
no, no "hulking out" moments to report here...
Have you hulked out on anyone or anything lately? What happened?
Only the children. :)
My mom won't leave off my ass about getting a haircut. Yesterday she started on me again and started yelling when I told her no again. So I told her that she's a facist pig femi-nazi and that she must be the granddaughter of Hitler. I don't know where that particular line came from.
Yeah, I've been disowned again. And my sister got yelled at because of it. So it was worth it.
THIS
IS
KITTY LITTTEEEERERRRRERERERERRERER!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!
Lol :D
caufield
09-09-07, 03:35AM
I put on a suit that was a little tight, flexed, and ripped open every seam. Including the pants.
I put on a suit that was a little tight, flexed, and ripped open every seam. Including the pants.
FLEXED UR TABLE MUSCLE AMIRITE???
I did the same thing with a shirt...turned the wrong way and boom, it tore in the back. I was like "YES."
caufield
09-09-07, 04:29AM
It's a cool feeling. Just as an aside, it is VERY important to immediately impress the judge with your appearance. VERY important. No matter what the lawyers are like, the judge has a great deal to do with your acquittal. If you're on the good side of the judge, he might help you out. Just a thought. There are a lot of ways things can go tragically wrong, and you don't want to bring anything to an appeal. That's even harder.
Just as an aside, it is VERY important to immediately impress the judge with your appearance. VERY important. No matter what the lawyers are like, the judge has a great deal to do with your acquittal. If you're on the good side of the judge, he might help you out. Just a thought. There are a lot of ways things can go tragically wrong, and you don't want to bring anything to an appeal. That's even harder.
Quoted for truth. Not trying to beat up on the situation, it's just taking into consideration the fact that you're the one defending yourself, along with weighing the decision of cutting your hair against possibly getting raped in prison. At least that's the terms in which I would be considering it.
Fuck it, shave my head if necessary - I'm keeping an iron grip on my behymen.
If you immediately murder everyone in the prison as soon as you get there, you are 12% less likely to be raped. It's a proven fact.
Bassmama
09-09-07, 07:50AM
JakeD- between the humungous bathroom shit situations & your Hulk stories, you keep me laughing most of the time.
Hulk out? Not lately. I've managed to control myself QUITE well lately- but ya never know what today's gonna bring....
Quoted for truth. Not trying to beat up on the situation, it's just taking into consideration the fact that you're the one defending yourself, along with weighing the decision of cutting your hair against possibly getting raped in prison. At least that's the terms in which I would be considering it.
Fuck it, shave my head if necessary - I'm keeping an iron grip on my behymen.
*Rapes JakeD to find out what a behymen is.*
With that out of the way.
The length of my hair isn't going to make one iota of difference. It will be put up nice and neat in a ponytail that has 10 hair bands just like it always was when I worked for the USAF. My mom is just using this as a new weapon in her years long attempt to make me cut my hair. Cause she's a fascist pig femi-nazi. (I love that line. I'm trying to use it every chance I get)
NurseNancy
09-09-07, 11:21AM
LMAO @ JakeD.
Hmmm, nope, no hulking out moments around here :(
LMAO @ JakeD.
Hmmm, nope, no hulking out moments around here :(
I just pictured Nurse turning into the She-Hulk and got really turned on.
What?
This is Nurse when she Hulks out.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y263/Bones2112/shehulk.jpg
trekbugging
09-10-07, 05:26AM
we need new pic's of nurse!!!! wheeheee
/me goes and humps nurses leg
thestarsfall
09-10-07, 11:38AM
No hulking out moments...like ever...although I have done the whole snap-button shirt and then puff your chest out and the buttons come undone...thats always fun...
that also happens whenever i try on shirts that are button up...so i stay away from them...
kittyroze
09-10-07, 03:47PM
Most women's clothing is fairly stretchy, so it's a bit hard to hulk out. I have, however, experienced the pain of my bra hulking out on me. The women will know what I mean, the underwire manages to rip through its seam, and all of a sudden you have metal digging into your boobs and/or ribs.
Unforgiven
09-10-07, 04:39PM
I now have a mental image of Kittyroze standing somewhere, when her breasts suddenly burst out of her bra. I'm enjoying it.
By the way, Caufield - don't read that.
Poseidon
09-10-07, 06:38PM
I now have a mental image of Kittyroze standing somewhere, when her breasts suddenly burst out of her bra. I'm enjoying it.
By the way, Caufield - don't read that.
why not.. He is probably enjoying the same image...
why not.. He is probably enjoying the same image...
And he gets it in real life.
Get back to me on this when she turns green and starts smashing things.
thestarsfall
09-10-07, 09:02PM
Most women's clothing is fairly stretchy, so it's a bit hard to hulk out. I have, however, experienced the pain of my bra hulking out on me. The women will know what I mean, the underwire manages to rip through its seam, and all of a sudden you have metal digging into your boobs and/or ribs.
I totally get that all the time...the underwires in my bras never fully encompass my boobs...so they end up getting stressed and poking through and hurting me...the worst is when they aren't capped in plastic so you just have like raw wires that are rusted from the wash and then its like "hey, my boobs will get tetanus"
kittyroze
09-10-07, 10:29PM
I now have a mental image of Kittyroze standing somewhere, when her breasts suddenly burst out of her bra. I'm enjoying it.
I wouldn't do this if you hadn't made me. Time for your potentially NSFW punishment:
YOUR EYES SHALL BURN (http://x00.xanga.com/c15d9ae526330144650057/w107075039.jpg)
caufield
09-10-07, 10:33PM
/me puts on UFC fighter gloves
C'MERE!!
/me glares at Unfy
I wouldn't do this if you hadn't made me. Time for your potentially NSFW punishment:
YOUR EYES SHALL BURN (http://x00.xanga.com/c15d9ae526330144650057/w107075039.jpg)
/me avoids the link
trekbugging
09-11-07, 05:43AM
just for you jake
caufield
09-11-07, 11:57AM
AAAAAAHH!!! Kermit!! What the hell happened to you!!!!
I wouldn't do this if you hadn't made me. Time for your potentially NSFW punishment:
YOUR EYES SHALL BURN (http://x00.xanga.com/c15d9ae526330144650057/w107075039.jpg)
I'm taking your photoshop away. That was really twisted. Be expecting a bill from my optometrist.
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