Diva
04-05-02, 01:34PM
Shit Happens
What a week. One bad fucking week. Anniversary of a parent's death. One year to be exact. My computer dies out of respect. I get no respect. This thing that we call the Internet. It's becoming the inter workings of hell. I have never met so many assholes in one arena. Trust me, the number's a doozy. I started this site to meet people. To connect to the world around us. What connected is every asshole's foot to my ass. Don't get me wrong, I've met some fantastic people, too. But, the killer is when you think you've met someone special, someone you want to get to know. And visa versa... Only to learn your skills in the real world do not apply here. Forget everything that you have learned. All of your values, ideals, hopes. That shit is out the door on the web. This is the place where lies become realities, and small minded frightened little boys can pretend they're more powerful than Bill Gates. You would be amazed at the Email I get. Besides the readers who I want to hear from, I get these numbskulls who start talking crap from word one. The first time it happened it blew my mind. Why anyone would go to all of the trouble of writing shit talking content to a total stranger is beyond me. The funny part is the first Email was 'constructive criticism'. After that, the shit started trickling in. I would go to my webmaster friends and they would shrug. "Get used to it" is what I heard most. Get used to it?!?!??! Come again?!?!?!? You mean this is 'normal? Apparently it is. Anyone who never got to tell off the school bully for the ultimate towel snap is on the web, spewing their anger. I'm getting hit from all sides.
I think the downfall is when I started meeting people I really liked on the web. I liked a lie. A facade. What I wanted to see. But it's what you can't see that can kill you. You talk of affection... Meanwhile, they're sharpening knives. No biggie, right? Long distance psychos aren't that scary. You lick your wounds and move on. Wanna bet? They say the pen is mightier than the sword. That's a mere flesh wound compared to the keyboard. Not the words, not the public humiliation, but the action. The deception. That's what slices through you like a knife through warm butter. I spent two days trying to save two gigs of porn for faceless people [most of em, at least] only to be slammed by someone I thought that I knew. As I sat at the computer, looking at all of the work I had done, it hit me... Bullshit. It's bullshit. Hypocrites fill the spaces making promises and breaking them because they can't think of something to say. There is no privacy. You surf the web? Check out the ads. ALL of the ads. Porn. That's the biggest seller. Easily offended? Don't go on the web. And don't go to alternative sites expecting ads for Barney. I don't have any ads. But I know which ones sell. Amateur is one. Chicks who shave their pussies and wear pigtails. Now, I'm not one to complain about the clean box look... but these chicks are trying to look like teenagers. Child porn without the child, so to speak. Even the gay porn has it. They call em Twinks. And yes, there are the 'alternative porn ads, too. Rape files, Satan Fuckers, shitting, pissing, puking, dominating, bondage, spanking, strap-ons, transsexuals, S & M, fisting, footing [whatever], midgets, bestiality, toons, Hentai, snuff/sleepy sites, and gore. Hmmmm. Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, then there's the everyday, run of the mill, adult heterosexual fucking. Pick your poison. On the web, it's all the same. One big giant 'fun' house. Thrills, chills and spills. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hurl. The one section that I hated the most in those G-d forsaken places was the mirrors. You feel so trapped. Everytime you finally think... are sure of... the way out... slam! Right into a mirror. That's how I feel right now. Everytime I think I've met someone real, that I can believe... SLAM!!! I hit a wall. Which poses the question... If I can't meet people and trust them, why am I doing this? What purpose does this web site have for me?
What a week. One bad fucking week. Anniversary of a parent's death. One year to be exact. My computer dies out of respect. I get no respect. This thing that we call the Internet. It's becoming the inter workings of hell. I have never met so many assholes in one arena. Trust me, the number's a doozy. I started this site to meet people. To connect to the world around us. What connected is every asshole's foot to my ass. Don't get me wrong, I've met some fantastic people, too. But, the killer is when you think you've met someone special, someone you want to get to know. And visa versa... Only to learn your skills in the real world do not apply here. Forget everything that you have learned. All of your values, ideals, hopes. That shit is out the door on the web. This is the place where lies become realities, and small minded frightened little boys can pretend they're more powerful than Bill Gates. You would be amazed at the Email I get. Besides the readers who I want to hear from, I get these numbskulls who start talking crap from word one. The first time it happened it blew my mind. Why anyone would go to all of the trouble of writing shit talking content to a total stranger is beyond me. The funny part is the first Email was 'constructive criticism'. After that, the shit started trickling in. I would go to my webmaster friends and they would shrug. "Get used to it" is what I heard most. Get used to it?!?!??! Come again?!?!?!? You mean this is 'normal? Apparently it is. Anyone who never got to tell off the school bully for the ultimate towel snap is on the web, spewing their anger. I'm getting hit from all sides.
I think the downfall is when I started meeting people I really liked on the web. I liked a lie. A facade. What I wanted to see. But it's what you can't see that can kill you. You talk of affection... Meanwhile, they're sharpening knives. No biggie, right? Long distance psychos aren't that scary. You lick your wounds and move on. Wanna bet? They say the pen is mightier than the sword. That's a mere flesh wound compared to the keyboard. Not the words, not the public humiliation, but the action. The deception. That's what slices through you like a knife through warm butter. I spent two days trying to save two gigs of porn for faceless people [most of em, at least] only to be slammed by someone I thought that I knew. As I sat at the computer, looking at all of the work I had done, it hit me... Bullshit. It's bullshit. Hypocrites fill the spaces making promises and breaking them because they can't think of something to say. There is no privacy. You surf the web? Check out the ads. ALL of the ads. Porn. That's the biggest seller. Easily offended? Don't go on the web. And don't go to alternative sites expecting ads for Barney. I don't have any ads. But I know which ones sell. Amateur is one. Chicks who shave their pussies and wear pigtails. Now, I'm not one to complain about the clean box look... but these chicks are trying to look like teenagers. Child porn without the child, so to speak. Even the gay porn has it. They call em Twinks. And yes, there are the 'alternative porn ads, too. Rape files, Satan Fuckers, shitting, pissing, puking, dominating, bondage, spanking, strap-ons, transsexuals, S & M, fisting, footing [whatever], midgets, bestiality, toons, Hentai, snuff/sleepy sites, and gore. Hmmmm. Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, then there's the everyday, run of the mill, adult heterosexual fucking. Pick your poison. On the web, it's all the same. One big giant 'fun' house. Thrills, chills and spills. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hurl. The one section that I hated the most in those G-d forsaken places was the mirrors. You feel so trapped. Everytime you finally think... are sure of... the way out... slam! Right into a mirror. That's how I feel right now. Everytime I think I've met someone real, that I can believe... SLAM!!! I hit a wall. Which poses the question... If I can't meet people and trust them, why am I doing this? What purpose does this web site have for me?