Bizarre Sex Talk. What the fuck.

[JakeD]

"Yeah, when Captain Frosting gets done with your hairy bingle-bangle, it's going to look like a rat in a rainstorm when I'm all done with my LOVE PAINTS!"

Again, thanks to Patton Oswalt's latest album....what's the most bizarre sexual innuendo you've ever heard? Give the source, if possible.

Bonus points if it's actually been spoken to you.

[Sean]

me and the drummer try to come up with increasingly bizarre/dirty names for each other...

[JakeD]

Examples?

[Bones]

My friend has a band called Monkey Porn. Ander is a strange one. But his band is actually half way good. Maybe.

[kittyroze]

You can make anything into a weird sexual innuendo. You just have to phrase it properly. I'll type in the next phrase I hear on tv and show you...

"100% Natural Whole Grains Delicious"

Let's work with this...

"I'll bet her whole grains are delicious."

"I'd eat her 100% natural whole grains, anytime."

"Her whole grains are 100% natural."

See? They may not be great, but they're definitely weird.

[Bones]

You can make anything into a weird sexual innuendo.

I'm told this all the time. Half the time my friends think I'm flirting with Dumbass. I call him the BIG SEXY PUPPALICIOUS . That gets me some weird looks.

[Bassmama]

/me looks weirdly @Bones

[Bones]

See what I mean!!!

[thestarsfall]

I'm told this all the time. Half the time my friends think I'm flirting with Dumbass. I call him the BIG SEXY PUPPALICIOUS . That gets me some weird looks.

ROFLMAO!!!

My friend calls her big dog Love Monkey or Monkey Baby.

I dunno if this qualifies but in high school we were in the library and someone was on my friends computer so she was like "what are you guys doing?" and my other friend replied in this really pervy voice "They're browsing your files."

haha...

yeah and Sean I wanna hear some of these names...

[Boozer]

It's funny. A LOT of my female friends will say something, then immediately turn to me and say, "Shut up, Al!" I don't know why! I'm an angel.:angel2:

[trekbugging]

hey i live in a state and can go to a football game at the university of south carolina-- which the mascot is a rooster or gamecock-- so it was great going and hearing alot of college women screaming they love the "cocks"--or seeing a tshirt with " i love the cocks"--hahahahaha where else do you hear a whole stadium screaming "go cocks"--hahahahahah

i agree anything can be turned-- a friend in new jersry bought a new car and she was so happy-it is a mercedes hardtop convertible-- first time she said she drove topless all day-- then i swear i heard her blush and turn red over phone and started to laugh at herself--of course i asked if i could go out with her when she was driving topless-hahaha