Diva
04-04-02, 10:45PM
Well Shit. That Was As Fun As Bad Sex
I hate being sick. Or fighting with someone. I should change my occupation to the Glow Girls or whatever the fuck those fembots in wrestling call their title. Come on baby, let me slam you. Slam you HARD! I saw the Rock fella on Saturday Night Live. I'd like to adjust his shorts. Oh wait... don't these guys wear tights? Fuck. That's such a turn off. Drop em at door, Stone-boy. And you'd better be nicknamed 'the Rock' for a good reason, man. Or you're outta here! Yeah, bad sex is the worst. Now, don't get all self conscious about your performances... The last thing I need is a bunch of whiny assed mates emailing me cuz you started doing a chick trick on them... "Am I good in bed..." [say it really whiny]. Sex is great. It's a rarity when both people don't get 'something' our of it. That 'something' better be more than a minute and a half somewhere in the middle. Gather around, [legal] children. Let's talk shop. The key is to be aware of the other person's existence. Otherwise, stick with your hand. Less whining. Sure, maybe halfway in and out like you're carving something is good for you... but us chicks get when the dick is actually inside. No bullshit! For me, the deeper the better... but you may want to actually ask your partner. Now don't give me that face of horror.. Shit. If you're sticking it in her, you can talk about it. Or would you rather hear from your friends who heard it from their girlfriends after a public lunch-in... that you suck in bed? There's always going to be a time when nothing else exists... You're in that 'zone' going for a touchdown. But if you know what she likes then you'll both be doing that 'I win' dance at the end. This doesn't mean jumping off the bed and doing the cabbage patch, by the way.
I have seen a small portion of the adult porn stars. Usually it's 'Oh, that was her?' I can't remember seeing Asia (http://www.asiacarrera.com/index3.html) Carrera, but I know I have. Anyhoo, I went to her site and she's the coolest chick in the business! The other 'insert queens' sites slam you with pop-ups, membership only entrances and voice ads {My biggest peeve}. There's nothing worse in the wee hours of the morning when all is quiet and the window's open to have, "Looking for hot, hot porn..." blasting through the speakers. Thanks, Jenna. Asia's! site is different. I haven't even gone through the whole thing, but loved what I saw. You gotta admire a chick who show's bloopers and funny face shots while trying to sell herself. I've seen way too many of these chicks look haggard within a few years. Maybe it's the DP's. {If you don't know what that means... don't ask someone. Trust me.} And on a personal note... Crash, you're an asshole. I show him her site, and he promptly puts... nevermind Jerk. Kisses...
I hate being sick. Or fighting with someone. I should change my occupation to the Glow Girls or whatever the fuck those fembots in wrestling call their title. Come on baby, let me slam you. Slam you HARD! I saw the Rock fella on Saturday Night Live. I'd like to adjust his shorts. Oh wait... don't these guys wear tights? Fuck. That's such a turn off. Drop em at door, Stone-boy. And you'd better be nicknamed 'the Rock' for a good reason, man. Or you're outta here! Yeah, bad sex is the worst. Now, don't get all self conscious about your performances... The last thing I need is a bunch of whiny assed mates emailing me cuz you started doing a chick trick on them... "Am I good in bed..." [say it really whiny]. Sex is great. It's a rarity when both people don't get 'something' our of it. That 'something' better be more than a minute and a half somewhere in the middle. Gather around, [legal] children. Let's talk shop. The key is to be aware of the other person's existence. Otherwise, stick with your hand. Less whining. Sure, maybe halfway in and out like you're carving something is good for you... but us chicks get when the dick is actually inside. No bullshit! For me, the deeper the better... but you may want to actually ask your partner. Now don't give me that face of horror.. Shit. If you're sticking it in her, you can talk about it. Or would you rather hear from your friends who heard it from their girlfriends after a public lunch-in... that you suck in bed? There's always going to be a time when nothing else exists... You're in that 'zone' going for a touchdown. But if you know what she likes then you'll both be doing that 'I win' dance at the end. This doesn't mean jumping off the bed and doing the cabbage patch, by the way.
I have seen a small portion of the adult porn stars. Usually it's 'Oh, that was her?' I can't remember seeing Asia (http://www.asiacarrera.com/index3.html) Carrera, but I know I have. Anyhoo, I went to her site and she's the coolest chick in the business! The other 'insert queens' sites slam you with pop-ups, membership only entrances and voice ads {My biggest peeve}. There's nothing worse in the wee hours of the morning when all is quiet and the window's open to have, "Looking for hot, hot porn..." blasting through the speakers. Thanks, Jenna. Asia's! site is different. I haven't even gone through the whole thing, but loved what I saw. You gotta admire a chick who show's bloopers and funny face shots while trying to sell herself. I've seen way too many of these chicks look haggard within a few years. Maybe it's the DP's. {If you don't know what that means... don't ask someone. Trust me.} And on a personal note... Crash, you're an asshole. I show him her site, and he promptly puts... nevermind Jerk. Kisses...