Diva
04-04-02, 01:20AM
May 15, 2001
How many of you recognize that little statement? No, it wasn't from me. Use ICQ? That's one of the first messages you get from a "friend" who wants to welcome you to the ICQ realm. Mine offered cheerleaders, I think. No men. Always chick sites. They may have sparked my interest had I gotten a, "Hey cutie. Seeking out some fun? I've got some rock hard fun for you. All the muscles are rock hard at this site. Check it out. I'll catch you there." Now that's a welcoming! I turned off my ICQ for a while. It's not all that , anyway. You have to put yourself on invisible, deny anyone and everything. So, why bother?
I'm so damn tired today, I can't even begin to tell you. So I won't. I figured I should make my site a little more upbeat, even if I'm not. Always thinking of others, there I go again. Thanks for the emails of support I received. I really needed that. With everything that's going on, it's nice to know that a perfect stranger is willing to write in and try to cheer you up. And I'll keep the offer in mind, you know who you are. ;) Lief never gets dull with me, that's for darn sure. Sometimes, I wish it did. I feel like I'm on a bipolar ride from hell. I was told not to care too much about people and things. Sure. Okay. I'll tell you what. Let's cut your heart in half and see how you do. Okay? I'm still dealing with the pictures and the hotlinks. For those people, a personal note. The rest of you might want to skip this part:
"I have never dealt with such loathsome, greediness in my life. This is not a compliment. You are a thief. You are stealing. Money. That's what it boils down to. You are robbing me of my money. I work long hours so that I may pay my bills. I saved up to start this site, and you are taking it away. I can't even fix it up, because I'm wasting my time tracking you down. You are shit. You are a loser. You take someone else's property and claim it as yours. Not the media/pictures. The bandwidth. You claim it's your video, but it's on my site. Everytime you look at that, remember you stole it. You robbed me. You took my money. I had to pay for more bandwidth because of you. Karma will catch up with you, if your web host doesn't that is. I am taking this to the full extent of the law. I hope they dump your stealing ass and leave you without a web site to show stolen property." Well, I'm off to the forums again. Please bear with me. I promise to fix this baby up. And hopefully my heart will turn to stone for a while and let me give you some real enjoyment.
Have You Ever Hurt So Bad That You've Thought Of Ripping Your Heart Out Just To Relieve The Pain?
People can be such fucking wimps. Cowards. Pussies. If I feel a certain way about someone, I tell them. End of story. Yeah, yeah. I know. But then you risk being rejected. So the fuck what? If someone doesn't feel the same way about you, depth for depth, they have a right. There is no law that says you have to like me the exact way I like you. That's not the way the world runs. But, if I tell you how I feel, the decent thing to do would be to tell me how you feel. I'm not a fucking detective. I don't read minds. When I care about someone, friend or lover, I would give them the world. You want it, it's yours. All I want in return is some honesty. The giving and taking is nice, but not if you feel like you have to. I don't want someone who doesn't want me. Why the hell would I? That's settling. I would never do that to myself. I don't need sympathy. I don't need protection from the cruel world. I know life. I know cruelty. You wanna know something cruel? Letting someone believe that they are important in your life. That you have a special feeling for them. Leading them so far down the road of smoke and mirrors that they don't know their way back. But I'm not going to depend on someone who made me feel like such an ass to show me the way home. Fuck you. I have been living in a fucking dream world. Thinking one thing, only to learn that it's all bullshit. I thought that I counted. That I was someone special. Have you ever been in bed, laying perfectly still. Then all of the sudden you have the sensation of falling? I'm falling. But I can't make it stop. The place where I stood beside you is a dot in the darkness. Then, you are gone. No more. Our pseudo existence together is nothing but a faint memory. Damn it! I have looked into a man's eyes and the world disappeared around us. The only sound was the echo of two. I have been held by a man and melted into his arms until we became one. And I have left a man who I loved so deeply feeling that I might never love this way again. But I see people walking hand in hand, completely in love. I have stool outside and watched two lovers disappear in their own world of two. I know it can happen again. If I meet someone and they're not the one, then I simply move my heart on. Why couldn't I see it in you? Men wonder why women are so emotional and overwhelming... Maybe it's because guys need to have something beaten over their heads in order to get a simple response. Too dramatic? I'm a chick, damn it! It's my right! It's in my genes! Take your funky ass non-matching X Y chromosomes and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. NO, it's not PMS-ing, I checked. This one's all male related. Bastards.
How many of you recognize that little statement? No, it wasn't from me. Use ICQ? That's one of the first messages you get from a "friend" who wants to welcome you to the ICQ realm. Mine offered cheerleaders, I think. No men. Always chick sites. They may have sparked my interest had I gotten a, "Hey cutie. Seeking out some fun? I've got some rock hard fun for you. All the muscles are rock hard at this site. Check it out. I'll catch you there." Now that's a welcoming! I turned off my ICQ for a while. It's not all that , anyway. You have to put yourself on invisible, deny anyone and everything. So, why bother?
I'm so damn tired today, I can't even begin to tell you. So I won't. I figured I should make my site a little more upbeat, even if I'm not. Always thinking of others, there I go again. Thanks for the emails of support I received. I really needed that. With everything that's going on, it's nice to know that a perfect stranger is willing to write in and try to cheer you up. And I'll keep the offer in mind, you know who you are. ;) Lief never gets dull with me, that's for darn sure. Sometimes, I wish it did. I feel like I'm on a bipolar ride from hell. I was told not to care too much about people and things. Sure. Okay. I'll tell you what. Let's cut your heart in half and see how you do. Okay? I'm still dealing with the pictures and the hotlinks. For those people, a personal note. The rest of you might want to skip this part:
"I have never dealt with such loathsome, greediness in my life. This is not a compliment. You are a thief. You are stealing. Money. That's what it boils down to. You are robbing me of my money. I work long hours so that I may pay my bills. I saved up to start this site, and you are taking it away. I can't even fix it up, because I'm wasting my time tracking you down. You are shit. You are a loser. You take someone else's property and claim it as yours. Not the media/pictures. The bandwidth. You claim it's your video, but it's on my site. Everytime you look at that, remember you stole it. You robbed me. You took my money. I had to pay for more bandwidth because of you. Karma will catch up with you, if your web host doesn't that is. I am taking this to the full extent of the law. I hope they dump your stealing ass and leave you without a web site to show stolen property." Well, I'm off to the forums again. Please bear with me. I promise to fix this baby up. And hopefully my heart will turn to stone for a while and let me give you some real enjoyment.
Have You Ever Hurt So Bad That You've Thought Of Ripping Your Heart Out Just To Relieve The Pain?
People can be such fucking wimps. Cowards. Pussies. If I feel a certain way about someone, I tell them. End of story. Yeah, yeah. I know. But then you risk being rejected. So the fuck what? If someone doesn't feel the same way about you, depth for depth, they have a right. There is no law that says you have to like me the exact way I like you. That's not the way the world runs. But, if I tell you how I feel, the decent thing to do would be to tell me how you feel. I'm not a fucking detective. I don't read minds. When I care about someone, friend or lover, I would give them the world. You want it, it's yours. All I want in return is some honesty. The giving and taking is nice, but not if you feel like you have to. I don't want someone who doesn't want me. Why the hell would I? That's settling. I would never do that to myself. I don't need sympathy. I don't need protection from the cruel world. I know life. I know cruelty. You wanna know something cruel? Letting someone believe that they are important in your life. That you have a special feeling for them. Leading them so far down the road of smoke and mirrors that they don't know their way back. But I'm not going to depend on someone who made me feel like such an ass to show me the way home. Fuck you. I have been living in a fucking dream world. Thinking one thing, only to learn that it's all bullshit. I thought that I counted. That I was someone special. Have you ever been in bed, laying perfectly still. Then all of the sudden you have the sensation of falling? I'm falling. But I can't make it stop. The place where I stood beside you is a dot in the darkness. Then, you are gone. No more. Our pseudo existence together is nothing but a faint memory. Damn it! I have looked into a man's eyes and the world disappeared around us. The only sound was the echo of two. I have been held by a man and melted into his arms until we became one. And I have left a man who I loved so deeply feeling that I might never love this way again. But I see people walking hand in hand, completely in love. I have stool outside and watched two lovers disappear in their own world of two. I know it can happen again. If I meet someone and they're not the one, then I simply move my heart on. Why couldn't I see it in you? Men wonder why women are so emotional and overwhelming... Maybe it's because guys need to have something beaten over their heads in order to get a simple response. Too dramatic? I'm a chick, damn it! It's my right! It's in my genes! Take your funky ass non-matching X Y chromosomes and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. NO, it's not PMS-ing, I checked. This one's all male related. Bastards.