New Car New Thingies

[Diva]

Tuesday afternoon my coworkers approached me, asking for the pot luck signup sheet. After sifting through the papers on my desk one of them found it. I love how people just plop shit down without telling me. She realized I hadn't signed it yet and said, "You don't cook, right? How about bringing sodas?" I guess my vacant stare was a 'yes' to them and my name was written under 'drinks'. I swear one day I'm going to sign up for the main course and cook it. Then they'll feel my wrath.

Fast forward to yesterday morning. I plopped the bottles on the seat with my purse and drove off. I was chatting with Jake on my cellphone (headset) while driving down the 405-S when my car started beeping. First it was a slow beep, but each one came a little faster. I panicked.

ME: Fuck!
JakeD What?
ME: Shit!
JakeD WHAT!?
ME: It's beeping. The car is beeping! Fuck!

I looked on my dashboard... nothing was flashing. I was driving eratically, trying to get to the off-ramp. By that time it was almost a continuous beep. I thought something was going to explode. Then it stopped. I looked over to see the passanger seat button flashing it's No Seatbelt light. Fucking shit. Then I hear muffled laughter. I almost got into a wreck because I didn't 'buckle up' two bottles of soda. Fucking car.

NCT Search Word of the Day
i masturbate alot! [2]


News n Stuff
º Bank robber flees in cowboy gear (http://www.local6.com/news/9373466/detail.html). Lovely
º Homeowner causes trouble with gold dig (http://www.nbc4.tv/news/9370427/detail.html). Moron
º Plumber finds drug stash in bathroom vanity (http://my.earthlink.net/article/str?guid=20060614/448f89c0_3ca6_1552620060614103688590). Idiots
º Teacher pays teens to fight (http://www.local6.com/news/9373497/detail.html). Dipshit
º Debts bring luxury taxis to a stop (http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=qw1150360201824B232). Way to go
º Cop ticketed on the way to see dying son (http://www.local10.com/news/9370192/detail.html). WTF!?!
º Student knits her own Ferrari (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1879263.html). *blink*
º Mom leaves baby in car while shopping at Wal-Mart (http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/9370795/detail.html). Twit
º Man busted for making 170 prank calls (http://www.local6.com/news/9373590/detail.html). Dumbass
º 81 yr-old bungee jumper seeks new thrill (http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=qw1150342740139R131). No, really
º Worker mailed venomous spider to his office (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,19478596-13762,00.html). Moron
º Teen arrested for throwing rocks from overpass (http://www.local6.com/news/9373477/detail.html). Ass
º Man sues company over $2.31m car (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,19479220-13762,00.html). Dude....
º Guy shoots at naked man proposing to girlfriend (http://www.local10.com/family/9373474/detail.html). Swift move


Levity
º Video: Oops! They crowned the wrong woman. Catfight! (http://www.avclub.com/content/node/49371&rss=1)
º No Scruff! (http://noscruf.org/)
º Henry Rollins: A Love Letter To Ann Coulter (http://images.worshiptheglitch.com/EP3LettersFromHenry.swf)
º Cat chases the bear up tree (http://crazylinkz.blogspot.com/2006/06/jack-cat-chases-bear-up-tree.html)
º The stolen Sidekick drama (http://www.evanwashere.com/StolenSidekick/)
º Hawt blonde in (and out of) bikini (http://morebabes.ath.cx/g/krystelfontain/)

[Bones]

You could have seriously injured those poor sodas!!!!!!


I swear one day I'm going to sign up for the main course and cook it. Then they'll feel my wrath.

Here. Blow their minds. Compliments of the chef. One of my favorite Roast Beef Recipes.


3 pounds rump roast.

1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup.

1 (10.5 ounce) can condensed beef broth.


Place rump roast in a slow cooker.

Pour in condensed cream of mushroom soup and
condensed beef broth.

Cook on a low heat for about 8 hours.

[Poseidon]

she'll burn it to a crisp, ya know that.

[Bones]

How can you burn something in a slow cooker?

[Poseidon]

I am sure we would find out.

[Boozer]

A few days after I got my Blazer, I was driving down the road, and all of a sudden, the damned thing starts beeping. I'm wondering, "WTF?!?!" and frantically search the dash for blinking lights. That's when I noticed my turning signal was still on. Not putting 2 and 2 together right away, I turned the signal off and the beeping stopped. Then for about 30 seconds I was still looking for what caused the beeping, then I realized it was the turning signal.

Yeah, I felt dumb.