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So I was driving to work behind some POS Nissan Sentra who couldn't seem to gain enough speed to go faster than 58 mph... in the fast lane. I coped pretty damn well under the circumstances. After muttering to myself I started imagining myself in a very large Monster truck, simply stepping on the gas and smooshing his slow-assed car to bits. All that was left was a tiny square bouncing off of the freeway while his screaming face peers out (Okay, so the truck is also a trash compactor). Then I took a deep breath and simply imagined a giant boxing glove popping out from my car and gently hurling the car forward. My random daydreaming went on for a while, until the idiot decided to slam on their brakes when traffic approached. And by 'approached' I mean about half a mile away. We're not even talking stopped traffic either. A few brake lights, followed by steadily moving traffic. After yelling out a few "WTF!"s I imagined the hand of G-d simply coming down and flicking him off the face of the Earth. Because He'd totally do that. I am one of the Chosen People after all. *looks up and smiles meekly* Let's just hope He has a good sense of humor.
News
º Three year-old has never fallen asleep.
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º Rugby team busted for mass striptease.
º Chef wants fines for serving out-of-season veggies.
º Crash spills Gatorade onto highway.
º Green puppy born in New Orleans.
º Drug-thieving fake cops threatened to squeeze balls with pliers.
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º Teachers aides kicked, choked autistic students.
º Tour guide describes the English as self-important, irritating.
º 94 year-old busted for killing landlord.
º Attendant fired, rehired for giving 16-cent donut to toddler.
º Men steal 554 gallons of gas in 4-hr. span.
Levity
º Video: Cute kitten video
º 21 Best Mugshots Evar
º Best guide to email forwarding EVAR
º YouTube: I Love the World (fantastic Discovery Channel ad)
º LOLPresidents
º Rookiebabe Marilyn on JohnDX
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